Should wives employ the services of cooks?

The demanding nature of the jobs of some women or wives has pushed them to engage cooks to help in preparing meals in their various homes. There have been arguments on why every woman should cook meals for her family and not leave the task to maids or cooks. Mrs. Helen Omake (not real name), […]

The demanding nature of the jobs of some women or wives has pushed them to engage cooks to help in preparing meals in their various homes. There have been arguments on why every woman should cook meals for her family and not leave the task to maids or cooks.
Mrs. Helen Omake (not real name), a mother of two, narrates her story: “I work in a bank which is a demanding job. I employed the services of a cook because my husband likes eating fresh meals and not food stored in the fridge. To satisfy him I employed a cook. My mother-in-law last week sacked my cook and instead said that I cook the meals myself, suggesting that I am not cooking because I either do not know how to cook or I am just lazy. I am in a fix because my job will not allow me to come home very early to cook, I am the boss here and my mother-in-law should respect that and allow me run the home the way I want. My husband’s relatives now see me as a good for nothing wife and insist that I cook. Was it a crime that I employed a cook to make my husband happy?”
Ramatu Abdullahi, a 36-year-old civil servant, says there is nothing wrong in employing the services of a cook: “I don’t know why some people like hard life, if she can afford a cook to help with the meals; she is then being considerate because she is not leaving her duties unattended to. I suggest she discusses with her husband since he likes his food fresh and he knows the nature of her job. But if he has issues with it then I suggest she cooks in bulk and stores it up in the fridge at least half bread is better than none. If preparing fresh meals three times a day was too tedious a task for a full time housewife (Nse Ikpe) in a Nollywood movie, ‘Mr. & Mrs.’ how much more a banker?”
Shade Olayinka, a 37-year-old entrepreneur, notes that: “Every family woman is working to help support the family one way or the other. The husband cannot just sit and watch his mother sack your cook, the cook is there not because of you but because of him and the children. Make her see reasons why you need a cook in the home. Meanwhile, your kitchen is your control room and no one should make decisions for you concerning it; not even your husband has power over it not to talk of a mother-in-law. Your husband needing fresh meals means you have to be cooking morning, afternoon and evening. Even a full-time housewife some days wants to stay away from cooking and just rest. Cooking everyday isn’t easy, that is why some families decide to eat out sometimes. Employing a cook only shows that the woman cares about her husband and now the relatives are complaining. We can never satisfy human beings. Do they prefer she comes back late at about 9 pm to start cooking for the family?”
Thirty-five-old lawyer, Amina Yaro Hossam, does not support the idea of employing a cook for the family: “I don’t think it’s wise for a wife to employ somebody to cook for her husband and the rest of the family. It is our duty as wives to cook and not the other way round. It is a right we owe our husbands.”
For Adama Umar, a 43-year-old lecturer in Zaria: “Everything about marriage is understanding, communication and compromise. The lady in question seems to have an understanding husband. Not all men got married because of cooking, some love career women and can condone other weaknesses from her. But all the same in as much we are fighting against gender inequality, wives still need to work hard on learning to combine the home-front and work. A successful woman is one who can balance her work and the home-front. If the cook is a female, has she thought about the pros and cons of having a female cook all alone in the house with her husband? A word they say is enough for the wise.”
Blessing Chukwu, a 30-year-old civil servant, wonders if a woman is a machine that is expected to work with a break: “More than half of married women have high blood pressure or other heart related conditions from stress of giving birth, cook, taking care of the home, looking after the kids, doing their homework and still satisfying her man. Is a woman a machine? It is not right at all, how can women close from a hectic job and late and the hubby or his mother insists she cooks? Africans always do things differently, what stops the man from cooking for his wife, this is also a way he can spice up their marriage or better still, the mother-in-law can help with the cooking and stop complaining. Her job is for the benefit of the family.”
Maryam Abdullahi, a marriage counselor, stresses the need for every husband to have meals cooked by their wives: “Cooking fresh foods every day is not easy but all the same, husbands have a right to eat meals prepared by their wives, though many women look at the idea of having cooks as a status symbol. We have instances where full-time housewives still employ the services of maids and cooks while they just sit and watch television and chatter away with friends over nothing relatively important; rather on the latest shoes, bags, gold etc.  For a working wife who closes late (this isn’t encouraged), deciding to employ a cook is not a bad decision, most working women do. But I will suggest that she takes control of her home and look for ways to merge her home and work in a schedule that they do not clash.”
The counselor adds that: “As it is now her job is already affecting her home which isn’t a good sign. As for her mother-in-law, mothers are always like that, no mother would want a son who has a wife to eat food prepared by a maid or a cook. Allowing a cook to prepare your husband’s meals is un-African. In this situation a compromise should be reached by the couple. They can decide she prepares the meals while the husband settles for his meals to be kept in the refrigerator. There is no need to be rude to the mother-in-law on this issue, discuss with her and let her know in a respectful way the need for her to have a cook if she insists on having one. Remember one day we will all be mother-in-laws.”