Should women change their names after marriage?

The subject matter of name changing after marriage has become an interesting one that many people in different parts of the world x-ray, based on their personal inclinations. People hold divergent views on whether a woman should change her name after marriage or not. But Islamic scholars and clergymen have argued that both the Qur’an […]

The subject matter of name changing after marriage has become an interesting one that many people in different parts of the world x-ray, based on their personal inclinations.
People hold divergent views on whether a woman should change her name after marriage or not. But Islamic scholars and clergymen have argued that both the Qur’an and the Bible have not made it mandatory for a woman to change her name after marriage.
Some of the critical questions raised are that if a woman is answering her husband’s name and the husband later dies, will she change her name back to the former and later change it if she re-marries?
If her husband divorces her, or where the marriage is dissolved as a result of death, will she change back to her father’s name?
Similarly, some have argued that the question of women changing their names or expunging their surnames to replace them with their husband’s names should not arise since they are not of the same lineage but only married.    
Some women argue that the husband is named after his own father and that the wife has nothing to do with the husband’s father’s lineage, insisting that it goes against common sense and true facts.
But the fact that a woman changes her surname to include her husband’s has become a common practice most especially in Nigeria. Historically, this is said to be a borrowed culture.    
A married woman, Joy Jude, who lives in Abuja, said it is necessary for women to change their names after marriage to be able to get assimilated and form part of the new family system properly.
According to her, there is need to automatically expunge a girl’s surname for the husband’s name after marriage, explaining that such gives the couple total sense of possession, commitment to family affairs, values and sense of belonging.
Similarly, a trader, Nguhemen Torwua Tyough, said any woman who refuses to change her name to include that of the husband has a hidden agenda, stressing that the marriage may not last.    
According to her, whether the lady is legally or illegally married, provided they both love each other and consider themselves married, the woman should consider the possibility of changing her name appropriately even without children.
A business woman, Patricia Okon, 41, said she feels very good answering her husband’s last name as she never even liked her parent’s name.
“Bearing my husband’s last name is a thing of joy and I think it is the normal thing for every woman to do when she gets married. And by the way, I was not fond of my parent’s name, then in school, people usually teased me with the name and I don’t see the name as part of my identity so when I got married it gave me an opportunity to take a new name,” she said.
But a banker, Funke Olaniyan, 29, opposed this, saying that for women to change their names after marriage is narrow-minded. The banker said there is no need for such, as men never change their names to include those of their wives.
“The expectation that women should change their last name for marriage, swapping their identity for their husband’s is inarguably sexist because no one would claim there is an expectation of the same name change in men so for the purpose of equality it is very important I keep my last name,” she said.
A 32-year-old woman, Sikirat Audu, also shared the same view with Funke Olaniyan, saying it doesn’t really make sense to change your name for the purpose of marriage as not all marriages last forever.
“I love my husband dearly and hope we are together until death but it will be naïve not to think that something like divorce or separation could happen. So what if it happens, would I then change back to my former last name? And if I remarry, do I change it again to my new husband’s name? What am I?” she asked rhetorically.
Sikirat added:  “To me, as it would be for many other people, my name is my identity. If someone asks you ‘who are you?’ the answer that you give is first your name and last name. So for me, my name is who I am.”
Similarly, a Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammed Salihu, said it is not permissible in Islam for a woman to adopt her husband’s last name.
“In the  Qur’an 33:5 and some other hadiths, since there is no blood tie between the husband and the wife, how can she take his surname when she is not part of the same lineage? Moreover, she may get divorced or her husband may die and she may marry another man.
“Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man? “Furthermore, there are rulings attached to her being named after her father, which have to do with inheritance, spending and who is muharrram (close male relative that a woman cannot marry such as brother, uncle, nephew) etc. Taking her husband’s name overlooks all that.
“The husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husband’s father? This goes against common sense and true facts. The husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife so that she should take his surname, while he takes his father’s name,” he said.  
Marriage counsellor, Maryam Fajuyi on her part advised that if women are debating on whether to change their surname for marriage, they shouldn’t listen to anyone but take their time to weigh their options and arrive at the decision they consider best for them.
Barrister Mansur also shared Fajuyi’s view, saying every woman is free to keep her own name, hyphenate her name with her husband’s name or even come up with a completely different name.
He added that if the couple agree, they could even adopt the woman’s last name as long as the name change is done legally. But before considering a change of name after marriage, he advised women to be sure they are happy with whatever name they choose.
A 34-year-old Mary John-Foster said changing her name has somewhat given her a feeling of connection with her husband. She said it is a binding factor, but stated that it was strange to her bearing another name when she married newly.
Ahmad Idris, 45, who is  an accountant, said some women prefer to change their names especially when they get married to a rich and popular man. He said they gladly change their names because they want to be recognized and identified with the name as that man’s wife but when the husband is poor and in some cases the woman happens to come from a rich family, she will not like to change her name; she will prefer to keep her maiden name.
“Though in other cases a woman might decide not to change her name after marriage because of religious purposes, for instance in Islam a woman is not expected to bear her husband’s name when she gets married. Her parent’s name remains her last name. Generally speaking, as a man it is a thing of joy when your wife bears your last name,” he said.
Evangelist Vivian Osho, said the tradition of a wife taking her husband’s last name is not found in the Bible, arguing that the time the Bible was written, most women did not even have last names.
“Women were usually identified by where they lived (e.g Mary Magdalene), by their children or by their husbands (e.g Mary the wife of Clopas). So women who legally change their last name after marriage are simply following western cultural convention,” she said.
With different views expressed over the issue, it is obvious that changing of a woman’s name is common practice but coercion should not be used to influence them.