Should you keep tab of what you spend on a spouse?

A lady said this recently concerning her relationship. “My problem is each time we have a misunderstanding, he starts talking about how much he has spent on me, asking me if I think he is Santa Claus. This is becoming a recurring incidence in every misunderstanding we have, even though we aren’t married yet. I […]

A lady said this recently concerning her relationship. “My problem is each time we have a misunderstanding, he starts talking about how much he has spent on me, asking me if I think he is Santa Claus. This is becoming a recurring incidence in every misunderstanding we have, even though we aren’t married yet. I don’t know if I should continue with him.”
Ebere Chukwu, 37-year-old civil servant, advices that she should quit the relationship. “It is better she ends this game now or she will regret it later in life. Such a guy is the type that will always remind you of how much he paid for your bride price if you eventually marry him and I’m not sure that’s what any right thinking woman wants for the rest of her marital life.”
Abisola Ajayi, 38-year-old civil servant, says, “I once had an ex who always reminded me of how much he spent on me each time we had any argument. One day, I accidentally saw a piece of paper where he wrote down everything he has ever bought for me including gifts he gave to my siblings and my birthdays. I didn’t need a prophet to tell me that he didn’t love me as I thought he did. How can someone who loves you truly be reminding you of how much he has spent on you? Just know that it will continue like that if you eventually marry him.
Maryam Salisu, 42-year-old nurse, says “In a nutshell, I don’t think it’s wise thinking of having a future with a man who reminds you of how much he spends or has spent on you.  It’s a sign and you should never ignore the early signs/red flags in a relationship. This is a bad sign. He’s a very petty/immature person. If he loves you, he won’t count what he does for you because love comes with giving.”
Maryam’s colleague, Ike Johnson, has a different opinion. The 43-year-old surgeon says “In as much as giving is a proof of love, some ladies turn men into ATM machines and see a relationship as a career opportunity that should meet all their material needs. I’ll advise her not to be quick in quitting the relationship because no one is perfect. We are all learning to be better, love is patient.
Nana Fatima Jaafar, 39-year-old pharmacist, agrees with Dr. Ike, “He is right; some ladies see a relationship as a job opportunity where the guy caters for all their needs including their mother and siblings. In fact, that’s what some women prefer, a man that will take care of all their needs, including that of their family. A woman who wants this way of life should be ready to have her ears filled with how much have been spent on her and her family from her partner.”