Surprisingly easy ways to build your self-esteem

What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If you can’t answer these questions then the chances are that you have a problem of self-esteem. This topic is often discussed because of the way it affects lives and relationships. Self-esteem could mean different things to different people. For a woman, it will […]

What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If you can’t answer these questions then the chances are that you have a problem of self-esteem. This topic is often discussed because of the way it affects lives and relationships. Self-esteem could mean different things to different people. For a woman, it will mean that she is confident in everything she does and is aware of her abilities and strengths. She would also be aware of areas needing work and improvement. This is okay because she knows she is not perfect and she does not have to be, as no one is.

We all have strengths and weaknesses

A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative feelings and messages about herself.  Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy.

Lack of self-esteem is a problem that affects millions of people, especially women the world over. It often results in depression and anxiety. According to Mathew Daniel, an Abuja-based psychologist, a woman’s self-esteem can affect her overall quality of life. It can go to the extreme in the direction of being negative or to the point of ignorance.

A balancing act

Finding the right balance will go a long way in creating a healthy life style. You are entitled to feel good and not deny yourself the wonderful things of life. The more negativity we internalize, the lower our self-esteem becomes, Daniel says. “A woman’s self-esteem can be greatly damaged if she has been in an abusive relationship. It is never too late to place value on yourself no matter your mistakes or what you have been through in life,” he added.

A sense of self-worth, not a superiority complex, is the basis for a healthy self-esteem. We need to feel valuable, appreciated, respected, accepted and loved for who we are, but do not depend solely on external affirmation. Most of all we need to value ourselves which starts from within us.

In marriage, poor self-esteem is not just a private burden it, it can harm the health of the relationship. People who remain unhappily married suffer from lower level of self-esteem, which can have a disastrous impact on marriage. When one partner starts having poor self-esteem, a communication gap is created in the relationship. This lack of communication can turn a happy marriage into one of resentment and despair, which grows like a virus. A partner with low self-esteem will often become frustrated with her spouse because she feels he doesn’t understand and support her. Furthermore, her spouse becomes frustrated since he cannot understand the issue as it has not been communicated to him.

Achieving self-esteem is up to you

Daniel says you can help yourself by embracing your unique qualities. “Negative things about yourself should be seen as a challenge. Realize that there is only one you and that makes you special. If you are used to telling yourself that you are worthless, that is exactly how you will feel.” He also added that negative thoughts breed negative actions. “Stop criticizing yourself. Think well of yourself and others will do the same. Also, try to involve yourself with positive people.”

Women must understand that their self-esteem and uniqueness at home goes a long way in stabilizing the home-front. If she is not confident, then the home will suffer.