Take off the mask and embrace reality
By Margaret Ogbebor SSMA Masking is an act of hiding one’s true identity. Identity refers to those qualities, attitudes, beliefs and characters that make one person different from another. Your identity defines you for who you really are; it is the distinguishing characteristic that separates you from other individuals. Identity defines a person and help […]
By Margaret Ogbebor SSMA
Masking is an act of hiding one’s true identity. Identity refers to those qualities, attitudes, beliefs and characters that make one person different from another. Your identity defines you for who you really are; it is the distinguishing characteristic that separates you from other individuals. Identity defines a person and help in the conscious recognition of the self as a unique person or being. When you mask, you are a different person, you become an actor. The work of an actor is to pick up a role assigned to him/her; the work of the actor is to act because of what they stand up to gain (fame, popularity, wages or money). In the same vein, people who mask themselves do so because of what they want to gain (recognition, fame, company, wealth among others). These gains are personal, not general, and that is why they try to be at their best to see that they act so well to get what they want. When people mask themselves they make others look like monster, horrible, bad and devilish. They project themselves as the only good, righteous, better and honest persons. It only takes a wise person to look beyond the nose and discover the truth.
However, people wear mask because of different reasons. Some wear mask because they do not want people to know the stuff they are made of. Some wear mask because they are afraid of making mistakes, they do not want people to make jest of them or see them as failure or inferior; they want to be perfect. We should always remember that it is only God that is the ultimate in all things.
Masking can be compared to make-up women apply on their faces. Many a time, when they cover their faces with these make-up, they look different after application. This is often done to upgrade their physical appearances so that they would look more beautiful and clean. This is for a while, after sometime the real face will show when the make-up is no longer there. When we cover our physical appearances either by masking or make-up, we cover the reality of our true identity and become someone else (acting). Masking brings about secretiveness, lying, insincerity, pretending and acting.
Fear is the greatest cause of masking of any kind. This happens because we do not appreciate our personality, our weaknesses and short comings. We all have our different fears: fear of losing our friends, fear of the unknown and also fear of losing our fake prestige. Wearing of mask is found in every facet of our society.
During courtship, many a time both parties (man and woman) often wear mask. Some men, during courtship tell their fiancée what they are not just to possess unnecessary status and feel important (wearing mask). On the other hand, the ladies also do the same all because they want to cover up their real self. After marriage, with time, the masks are removed and their true or real self is revealed. This would lead to quarrel, misunderstanding and lack of trust. Both parties would end up saying “had I known.” Children in the family especially those who are students (higher institution) fall victim of wearing mask because they want to impress their parents. Such masks are often removed when the parents of such children pay surprise visit to them in schools.
Politicians are also known for masking because by so doing they are able to deceive the masses and lure them to give them their votes. Many manifestoes were not met due to the fact that they were not real but acting. The political office is just like a stage where you come to act and go; this is done due to the fact that they are interested only in their personal gain (embezzlement of public fund). The mask are often removed when they get into power. At this time they cannot pretend anymore; their true colour would show and the people will be disappointed because they have deceived them.
Furthermore, fear makes one to behave the way he/she would not ordinarily behave because of pressure. As such, there is bound to be a lot of unnecessary mistakes; people under the pressure of fear are in serious pain because it is not easy to bear. A typical example is Peter the Apostle. Fear so enveloped him that he denied his master. When he was asked by a mere guard whether he knew Jesus, he denied, the second time an ordinary man pointed at him that he was always with Jesus, he denied it and when for the third time an ordinary slave girl accused him of been close to Jesus he denied in fear because he lacked the courage to say the truth. He was never responsible for his actions; fear led him to lie and the cock crowed as a confirmation of his denial (Luke 22:54-62).
To remove the mask, we should try to accept our weaknesses, limitations, mistakes, lacks and reality. Courage is a real virtue that one can imbibe when it comes to removing the mask. Courage does not care the way people look at us; courage makes us responsible for our actions and limitations without apology. Courage helps us to be bold and brave, giving us the power to do things we would not ordinarily do. It is a virtue we needs to acquire and develop. When we are responsible for our action we gain some specific values that money cannot buy like integrity, honesty, self-value, self- respect and freedom.
To be real means that you are without a mask. Reality is a state of things being real not fake; things that actually exist not something that idealistic, a mirage, or an imagination. It is a state of being that explains who you are and your acceptance it. To take off the mask calls for determination and discipline of the self. It is not acting; it is not for personal gain but for self-growth and development. It is a state of being free (not bondage), not under pressure. It gives self-worth and integrity to the person who practices it. In the bible, Jesus gave us an example of a person who is real, Jesus said to Nathaniel “behold, truly an Israelite whom there is no guile (deceit)” (John 1:47). Here Jesus knew Nathaniel through and through, a man who is pure, transparent, real and genuine not a deceiver or pretender. Many a time there is need for us to be open and real to those around us so that they can recognise us for who we really are. Chameleon style (changing of colour) of life, that is, to portray one attitude today, tomorrow you are someone else (not consistent) is not the best. Some people can even pretend in the presence of God who knows them more than they know themselves. Some people go to God in prayer only when they are in need, after they get what they want, they would bid the Lord good bye, see you some other time. This set of people see God as only a problem solver, not a father. There should be smooth relationship between God and us because he is our loving father. He wants us to come to him the way we are so that he can heal and help us where necessary. For God to help us, we should be ready to empty ourselves of pride, pretence, unnecessary fame and vain glory so that he can fill us completely. God does not force himself on anyone; he always waits patiently for our return.
Our efforts toward growth bring about change. Change is the only thing that is often constant. Our constant effort toward self-realisation is an important tool for taking off the mask and embracing our reality. When Jesus saw Nathaniel he was able to recognise that he was pure without deceit, would Jesus say the same thing about you?
Sr Margret Ogbebor SSMA is a Catholic Nun, working in the Catholic Diocese of Sokoto. She is the Head Teacher of St Martin de Porres Nursery and Primary School Katsina. [email protected]