Tea at the Burj

‘It is bridal nerves,‘ I replied looking up at her. ‘Every bride goes through it, sometimes to the point of saying “Why now, Why me”. But it will all come to pass and you will look back on all that happened as one big happy memory.’ I assured. ‘I don’t think so Aunty Bint’, my […]

‘It is bridal nerves,‘ I replied looking up at her. ‘Every bride goes through it, sometimes to the point of saying “Why now, Why me”. But it will all come to pass and you will look back on all that happened as one big happy memory.’ I assured.

‘I don’t think so Aunty Bint’, my niece insisted ‘I have completely lost interest in this marriage, and I can’t help thinking it will be a huge mistake to go ahead.’ She insisted.

‘That’s a pity, because go ahead we must. Do you think we’ve gone to all this trouble just so you can make a u-turn at the last minute? Look around you we’ve repainted this house, made all our new clothes, sewn our ashoebis and done our souvenirs. So if the past few months didn’t give you a chance to turn back, this last week will not be an opportunity for you.’ I scolded.

‘But Aunty’ she said sitting down on the carpet in front of me ’would you rather have me return to you in no time because the marriage has failed than put a stop to it now and save all of us unnecessary heartache?’

‘And why should it fail, since when did you become a pessimist?’ I demanded.

‘Since it became obvious to me that my future husband can’t keep a promise. We’ve been through so much since the wedding day was fixed. We planned and dreamt about how we wished to spend our lives together. Suddenly all he does is to say this has been cancelled, we can’t go ahead with this, this is not realistic etc. At the rate he is going I don’t know which of the promises he made to me can be fulfilled. Frankly I am thoroughly disappointed.’ Baraka explained.

‘Can you be a little more specific, what did he cancel?’ I enquired.

‘He promised me a wedding reception in this classy reception hall in town, then a honeymoon in Dubai. But now all he is saying is there is no way we can accommodate all that in the schedule of programmes. He kept dodging the issue till such I forced him to say he didn’t have enough money to do both. Why did he promise me at first when he knew he couldn’t afford them? Was he trying to deceive me? And if he believed he had to deceive me to get me to marry him, how much deception will he have to employ to keep me in the marriage?’ she asked, dejectedly.

‘It isn’t what you think. I think he basically bit more than he can chew, all in an attempt to impress you. Men at this stage usually think they can give you everything. It is when reality hits them that they find it hard to be truthful. To me it isn’t a sign that he won’t be trustworthy, though he should learn to trust you with his problems, but that he wanted to impress you so much and found out he couldn’t. So learn to be sympathetic. Also remember that you are about to marry a self-made man not a daddy’s boy. Understand that he is virtually funding this marriage himself and has to watch what he spends.’ I advised.

‘But why couldn’t he be more honest?’ Baraka complained.

‘Because he didn’t want to disappoint you.’ I insisted,

‘But he has ended up disappointing me all the same.’ She replied.

‘Yes, but that’s only because you’ve allowed yourself to be disappointed. Look you have to accept that this thing is more from you than from him. He promised you something he thought he could afford and is now telling you that he can’t do it because he can’t afford it. Who said a grand reception and an expensive honeymoon are compulsory in a marriage? The compulsory things have all been met. These are non-essential extras which people do only when they are comfortable enough to do so. If your husband had a rich father bankrolling the wedding he might try to fulfil your every dream. But he is a hardworking young man who is trying to settle down to a respectable life with you. Why can’t you appreciate that?’ I demanded.

‘Because I don’t know whether I can trust him again. I mean if he can’t take me on a honeymoon now when will he take me?’ Baraka asked again.

‘Didn’t you hear anything I said? I just said those are not essential in a marriage. Anyway if you patiently bear with him and try to keep him happy he will definitely try to fulfil your dreams someday; may be even beyond your expectations. Let me give you an example when my friends and colleagues where leaving no stone unturned to get to Dubai, I didn’t even give it a thought because I couldn’t afford it and it wasn’t a priority with me. Then one holiday, Tahir just said the children and I could go because he couldn’t make it himself. We went and had a taste of Dubai. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just an ordinary family holiday dominated by the usual shopping malls experience. But four years later we went with again with Tahir. And before I knew it I was told I had an appointment for tea at the Burj.

I am sure that as someone dying to go to Dubai you have heard all about the Burj al Arab, the world’s first seven-star hotel. When I first went to Dubai it was something I saw from a distance. Like a star in the firmament. Even when we went on a guided city tour we saw the famous Burj from the water front. Anytime we were returning to our hotel from those phenomenal shopping malls at night we will see the grand elevators of the Burj conveying guests almost at lightning speed to their different floors of the hotel. I never knew I will ever be one of those guests. I heard then that you need to book three days before you step foot into the Burj. That a cup of tea costs 500 dirham and that the architectural wonder was actually built on an artificial island. I read all this with a feeling of detachment. Then suddenly I was on my way to Burj al Arab.

Of course by now the tea no longer costs 500 dirham and you do not need to book three days ahead, but still nothing prepared me for the extent of Burj al Arab’s luxury. In a nutshell, Burj al Arab’s afternoon tea is a grand experience that’s usually booked to celebrate something special. It is a seven-course snack and fruits meal that included exotic delicately prepared sandwiches, pies, and many other light culinary delights. It included live piano music and an exquisitely beautiful atmosphere.  It was an other-worldly experience. By the time we were making our way to the famous elevators I had to recall when I saw them from a distance and they seemed an unattainable dream. By the time Tahir, the kids and I made our way out of the Burj we knew we had tasted a world of luxury. The moral of this story is that good things come to those who wait, especially those who did not covet them and did not force others to give them at a lot of inconvenience.

If you bear patiently with your groom, one day he could give you more than just a honeymoon in Dubai or elsewhere. And even if he couldn’t, there are other ways you can make each other happy, to the extent that such things just won’t matter. Please go through this marriage with an open and optimistic mind. Then trust in Almighty God and do your best. It will all be worth it, believe me.’

‘All right Aunty Bint. I’ll try, thank you very much.’ Baraka replied with an assuring smile.