Teaching children the virtue of self confidence

Although children get most of their education and knowledge from schools and learning centers, it is very important for parents to be engaged in their child’s learning process as it is believed that knowledge acquired from parents tend to be more cherished and remembered than when taught by other persons. Little wonder the parent is […]

Although children get most of their education and knowledge from schools and learning centers, it is very important for parents to be engaged in their child’s learning process as it is believed that knowledge acquired from parents tend to be more cherished and remembered than when taught by other persons. Little wonder the parent is referred to by early childhood educators and researchers as the child’s “first and best teacher”.
Teaching a child basic virtues like kindness, truthfulness, respect, love, patience, honesty is good. Whereas, it is even better to  teach a child character, purpose, time and money management, discipline, courage,  loyalty, hard work, diligence, responsibility,  etiquette, and even civic responsibilities like patriotism, nation building, leadership to mention a few. However, teaching a child self -confidence is the mother of them all. It is not only taught, it is given.
Self confidence is about the best thing a parent or guardian can teach a child. About 85 percent of the world’s population suffers from complex problem. It is mind boggling to know that 90 percent of the world’s population is seeking approval and self-esteem from people. The surest way to social happiness and the greatest key to success as an adult is self-esteem as a child. A child who feels insecure and inferior will translate same into his or her actions, because how one feels goes a long way in affecting how one acts.
Teach your children to look in the mirror and appreciate the person they see. Let them know the world will treat them just as much as they think they are worth. Confidence is about the first thing one notices in a child, only after the nice cloths, bag, hat and shoes they are putting on. It thus behooves on the parent to make sure that his or her child, is well adorned inside just as much as they are on the outside. When a group of children are playing or chattering outside, one need not look too long before one notices the self-confidence virtue playing out in the child who has it. It singles him or her out of the pack and makes him the leader of the rest, and that is why it is believed that self-confidence is the first quality for leadership.
The lack of it is responsible for many behavioral problems that kids have, like temper, shyness, fearfulness, withdrawal and most times being overly quiet in public. Parents have the greatest responsibility of enhancing their kid’s confidence level, but to achieve this, they must first improve on theirs’ as one cannot give what one does not have. As confidence or the lack of it can be quickly detected in kids same applies to the parents. Your child knows when it is present and absent. You are your child’s greatest example even if he idolizes others. That is why you need to deal with any trait of lack of confidence in you. Make sure your children can talk about how confident their parents are to their friends because your confidence as a parent is directly proportional to your child’s.
Discover the gifts and talents your children have early and then build on them. This is a huge booster to child’s self-confidence. A child who knows and hears his parents encouraging him will be inspired by it and it will translate into every other aspect of his life. Study has shown that a child that is not doing well in his studies and lacking in confidence in academics can get his feet back by noticing his parents support for him in the area of his strength like sports or music for instance and be challenged to translate same to his studies, knowing that he will be celebrated as well or even better if he starts to excel in school.
It will take a secure and confident parent not to talk down, insult and even lambast his kids. Children who get commendations especially from parents often times grow up being more confident than the kids who are rebuked and insulted at the slightest chance. Make your child know that she is fun to be with and do not just merely say it, try to spend some time with her. Mothers, who usually spend most of their time in the kitchen after the day’s work, can call their children to join them in the kitchen and talk as the cooking is going on.
 Fathers can invite their children to accompany them to functions and during the journey talk together. Ask for their opinion in some matters, and when they respond, make them know that you are proud of them and proud of the choices, decisions and opinion they make. These gestures go a long way in improving the self-confidence of a child.
Giving your children responsibilities and jobs to do within the house is the quickest way of increasing their self-confidence and reliance. From 2 to 3 years old you will notice that your child has a hunch for doing something, if it is the television for instance, give him/her some task like cleaning and switching off the television from the switch every night. Do not ever think that your child of three years is too young to be involved in the myriads of chores at home. Children who are assigned with such duties grow up to be confident and responsible adults. By the time kids are eight and nine years old, parents are often amazed at  what children can do within the home but this has to be encouraged from their earlier years.
Self-confidence encompasses other virtues. One cannot overemphasize its effect on the child. If you raise a self-confident child, you will have succeeded in raising an independent lad who won’t be burdensome to you later in future.   A confident child will have amongst other good values discipline, courage, and diligence. He would take responsibilities for his actions whether good or bad because it takes confidence and courage to do so. You would be sure to have a kind, truthful, respected, patriotic and loyal Nigerian as a daughter or son.
Teaching children should not solely rest on the teachers’ shoulder, the parents have a huge role to play and theirs is considered long lasting in the mind of the child. Hence, parents should be observant of the abilities of their children, and also work on themselves too so that their kids can see and emulate this virtue that is not just taught but caught.

Komolafe contributes this piece from Abuja.