Tears and a smile for Mammy: A tribute

In the last couple of days, my thoughts have been revolving around Hajiya Aisha Farouk or ‘Mammy’ as we all fondly called her. It is almost forty days since we lost her and every single day I remember her, I remember something good she said to me, something nice she did for me, something sweet […]

In the last couple of days, my thoughts have been revolving around Hajiya Aisha Farouk or ‘Mammy’ as we all fondly called her. It is almost forty days since we lost her and every single day I remember her, I remember something good she said to me, something nice she did for me, something sweet about her. All the memories I have are of things that made me smile and tear up at the same time. How can I not mention her quirky sense of humour? She had a way with words, yes she did. If you slept too much, she might just mention to you that you will be allowed to compete for your country at the Olympics, to which you’d ask for what game. Her reply would come, “Sleeping for Nigeria”. Or when all those really slim people would try to slim down even more, she would ask, “Are you slimming to disappear?”

I can’t remember the exact time I really bonded with Mammy but I remember that sometime in the early nineties, we were both in the same town, same house and happened to share a room. I felt very comfortable with her notwithstanding the fact that I was a teenager and she was probably in her late sixties. She was really beautiful, with very long hair. She listened to all my childish talk, got to know my favourite artist (Gloria Estefan) at the time and song “Reach”. She would watch out for the song for me on TV, and if it came on, she’d call me and tell me, “Your song is on.” I’m smiling and tearing up now as I remember how she kept asking if I’d seen Gloria’s performance at the Olympic Games that year.

I remember she travelled for Hajj shortly after we became roomies and I was quite young then. She bought me so many novels, popularly called ‘best-sellers’. I can never forget my excitement at getting those books. My favourite was ‘Queenie’. This was at the time that my mates were reading Mills and Boon books and the like. She noticed I loved to read and encouraged me. That’s just her way: Thoughtful and caring.

Another thing that I can never forget is the peace and tranquillity that Mammy and her husband, also late, Baba radiated. I loved to visit them because anytime I did, I felt better about myself. Anytime anyone asked me to name my favourite couple, after the Prophet SAW and Aisha, it was “Baba and Mammy”. I loved watching them both watching CNN and partially dozing off, or Baba reading the papers and Mammy picking stones from rice or looking into the paper at her favourite crossword puzzle. I loved the fact that they gave me a picture of how blissful a union could be. Baba would always tell me how proud of me he was. And honestly, it felt good and made me want to become better.

Mammy would always, always smile at me, agreeing totally that I’ve made her proud too. Sometimes, words, kind words do more to uplift your spirits than anything in this world. It’s the warmth, love and affection they have shown me that I miss so very much. Such big hearts they had. I can never picture Baba without Mammy at his side and I am grateful that in my lifetime, I have had the opportunity of meeting them both and been loved by them both. They were and still are the definition of soul-mates. May Aljannatul Firdaus be their final abode, ameen.

The last time Mammy told me to do something, it was at a lunch, barely two months before she passed on. She had grown quite frail from health problems she was battling. Most of us were seated but one of the ladies taking care of her was standing. She called me and with great difficulty, asked me to get a seat for the lady. She didn’t want her care-giver to feel left out. She would do her best to ensure that she did her best for everyone. That’s classic Mammy. If all the women of this world were like her, there is no doubt in my mind that the world would have been a better place. Mammy was and still is a role model. It is no wonder she has been blessed with a wonderful family with hearts as big as hers.

Mohammed wrote in from Maitama, Abuja