That special number

‘We are leaving’. I replied simply before inserting the key in the lock. ‘Leaving?’ both she and Asabe echoed together.’ Are you crazy, how can we leave now when the dinner will soon begin? The newly-weds just arrived, in case you hadn’t notice.’ Maryam protested. ‘I’ve noticed all right, and it’s the very reason we […]

‘We are leaving’. I replied simply before inserting the key in the lock.

‘Leaving?’ both she and Asabe echoed together.’ Are you crazy, how can we leave now when the dinner will soon begin? The newly-weds just arrived, in case you hadn’t notice.’ Maryam protested.

‘I’ve noticed all right, and it’s the very reason we have to leave now. We can’t be seen to condone that kind of behaviour.’ I argued.

‘What behaviour are you talking about? The young couple just came in, apart from their smiles in all directions as they walked towards their seats and I didn’t notice them doing anything wrong.’ Asabe observed.

‘Ok, the night is rather chilly let’s sit in my car and let me explain just why we have to leave this wedding dinner now.’ I advised.

‘You see we are here to honour a respected practice of our Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, that is marriage. Even a wedding feast is a recommended practice of his. But we abandoned our homes, our husbands and our children, braved the cold Harmattan night, just to honour this invitation. Only to come to a dinner where the bride is dressed like that? How can we tolerate that?’ I demanded.

‘Yes the bride looks rather exposed but that is not our concern. Her mother and aunties are there just as I believe the groom’s parents are also there. It they see nothing wrong with it what is our concern in the matter?’ Asabe asked.

‘In any case, after having spent over one hour waiting for dinner, do I now have to rise and leave without a taste of it just because the bride decided to look fashionable? Why should I starve this night because you don’t like her dress?’ Maryam demanded from the back seat.

‘Do you honestly call that being fashionable? Look this bride had on a dress that is totally sleeveless and even strapless; an evening gown that leaves her shoulders and arms bare up to the neck. Her hair as you can see is also uncovered. For all intents and purposes that girl is half dressed. How can she say she is honouring the blessed traditional of a wedding walima, which is meant to treat guests to delicious meals when she is treating them to a fashion show?’ I insisted.

Yes, but it is like Maryam said, we have been here long enough to deserve dinner. Let’s forget what the bride is wearing and just go and eat. You know that’s what all the young women are doing these days. Most of them insist on wearing wedding gowns and I honestly don’t know how they manage to convince their parents to buy them. However like I said earlier, this is not our headache.’ Asabe asserted.

‘But this is not even a wedding gown. This is a hideously-coloured, strapless evening dress. It is the type White showbiz personalities wear to attend red-carpet events. It isn’t suitable for a bride, more so a Muslim bride who should look and act decently. What is she trying to show off that the men and women in that room have not seen before? Is it the fair skin or her skinny arms or the hair that might or might not be her own? If she wanted to make an impact with that beauty she should hide all that and display it to the poor groom who paid a bride price for her this morning. This dress ought to be that special number she wears for their first evening together. You know, as seductive and exposing as the dress is, it would please any man with blood in his veins but to wear it to such a public event is positively indecent.’ I argued.

‘Ok, this debate is futile. It can’t change anything going on in that hall. And the longer we stay in this car the bigger our chances of losing our seats as well as missing out on the choicest dishes in the dinner. Let’s please go back and pretend we didn’t notice what the bride is wearing.’ Maryam pleaded.

‘No Maryam, for once I’m glad I’m the one driving. At least that gives me the right to be dictatorial. You are only going back in there to pick your bags. Otherwise I will drive away and leave you to find your own way home.’ I dictated.

‘Haba Bint this is going too far. We just told you that that bride has her mother and her husband’s mother and several male relatives viewing her the way she is and not saying a word, why should you be the one to overreact?’ she protested.

‘Because I have beliefs and principles.’ I replied.

‘May  be you do’ Asabe answered, ‘but you are not going to deprive us of a decent meal when by the time we get home both our children and our house-helps will be asleep. Who will make us dinner this night?’

‘If your concern is what to eat I will give you dinner tonight. Let’s go straight to my house and I will make you something fast to eat before I drop you home. I promise. But if you choose to remain here you have to seek a lift from other wedding guests. Now make your way inside and get your bags. I’ll leave in five minutes if you do not come out.’ I commanded jokingly.

‘You have no need to worry, we both came out with our bags.’ Maryam replied sarcastically.

‘I had no idea you can be so fanatical Bint. What is there in a young bride’s choice of dress that you can’t even stay and eat at her wedding?’ Asabe demanded angrily.

‘I just don’t want to be seen as encouraging such display. If those elderly female relatives of hers knew what was good for them, they wouldn’t allow her to step foot there the way she is. Yet ironically they all had their flowing veils on. I wonder the message they are sending to the rest of us.’ I said as I drove out of the dinner venue. ‘Are they trying to say that it is all right for a bride to appear that exposed because it is her wedding day while all of them should be properly covered because they had nothing to show off? In our days it is the other way round. Brides are the ones fully covered to protect their beauty and innocence. They are only allowed to bare when they are handed over to their respective husbands.’ I concluded.

‘What is so funny?’ I asked when Maryam began to laugh suddenly from the back seat.

‘Nothing, it’s just that I suddenly remembered your wedding night.’ She replied.

‘YOU suddenly remembered MY wedding NIGHT?’ I repeated with emphasis ‘What about it?’ I asked.

‘The part about you going on your honeymoon without a night dress and having to improvise with your long Arab gown that had long sleeves and the neck-high zip.’ She explained and continued to laugh.

‘Oh really?’ Asabe asked joining in the laughter, ‘how come I’ve never heard this before?’

‘You know Bint, in her pre-honeymoon packing she forgot to include a night-dress. She packed many new clothes, cosmetics and under wears and just forgot the one dress she needed most. So when it was time to declare her assets, she had to do so in a hidden way.’ And they broke out in laughter again. Concentrating on my driving, I ignored them because I knew they were having a joke at my expense to release their frustration at missing the dinner.

‘So what did Tahir say when he saw her overdressed for the occasion?’ Asabe asked, still laughing.

‘Em what was it that Tahir said Bint, I can’t seem to remember now.’ Maryam asked.

‘Well, thank God you can’t remember. You don’t have as great a memory as you think you have. But I still say it’s better to appear overdressed on your wedding night than to overexpose your assets to all wedding guests such that you leave little to the imagination. What more do you save for the groom, when every man can describe the shape and contours of your physique?’ And with that rhetorical question, I drove straight through our gate.

PS: I’m sorry I had to be away without notice. I had to attend to some medical emergencies. Thanks for your understanding, Al-Bint.