The car for marriage offer

She put the age range of the suitors between 17 and 25. So all those oldies should steer clear.According to the story, Zainab is 22 years old and she was disappointed by a friend whom she spent 5 million naira on, as such she took this drastic action.But many questions arise over these claims such […]

The car for marriage offer
The car for marriage offer

She put the age range of the suitors between 17 and 25. So all those oldies should steer clear.
According to the story, Zainab is 22 years old and she was disappointed by a friend whom she spent 5 million naira on, as such she took this drastic action.
But many questions arise over these claims such as; at the age of 22 how could she have been in a relationship for years and spent millions of naira she made? Where are her parents?  Assuming she had that amount of money, as someone very young, wouldn’t her parents or guardians take responsibility of her and know how she is managing her finances?
Besides, at the age of 22 it is too early to start worrying of not being married to the extent of advertising for husband through enticements of offering a car and so on.
Some  people believe that there is nothing wrong for a woman to make the first move and express love to a man, but many still hold on to the tradition that the man must make the first move, that for her own pride a woman must be approached. She should not be the one to take the bold step and march to a man and declare her unending love.
There are men that also hate to be approached by a woman even indirectly, if they know it is her initiation they will not be interested. They find it too brazen and against the norm.
In one such case recently, a woman tried to initiate a marriage to one man whose wife  died years ago.  Somebody mistakenly told him that it was the woman’s  wish to marry him. The man was angry; he said she was ‘shameless.’ He said could a woman say she loves a man and even sends somebody to tell him?
So Zainab should have stayed in her lofty stance of womanhood and the lucky man would come even if it is because of her car, but by going public in searching for a husband in exchange for car, does it mean love doesn’t play any role here?  That any man that is willing would do without knowing his character and background?
Still if such a man tells her he loves her, would she believe it, or she knows it is all a sham, so it doesn’t really matter.
As for the young men that thronged the radio station to marry  a woman they have never seen just because she would give the man she chooses a car, what they did was a show of shame. It emphasized the falling ‘standard’ of men and also parenting is found wanting.
These young men have probably never heard of the word gallantry, any man that takes the word to heart would never behave like that. In fact he would be too gallant to treat a woman like a commodity.
 In any event, no matter the clamour for gender equality men as the leaders of the home should be the ones to shoulder the financial responsibility of the family, therefore young boys should know that they would do so one day and get prepared for the task ahead.
It should not be in their place to rush to marry a woman in exchange for a car and the promise of other goodies of life. Pray, where is the ‘man’ in them, can they take care of their families, or are they the sort that leave the responsibilities to their wives?
If indeed our young men have degenerated into this pathetic shallow of manhood and actually get ‘bought’ in the name of marriage, the wives would never respect them.
 They have not earned the respect that should be accorded to a husband, a husband that provides food and shelter. Certainly not a husband that becomes a lay about, that would reap where he did not sow.
But the tragedy is that he will have no shame, he would take delight in demeaning himself by clutching to a woman for his survival.
  Then women are in danger with the breed of such young men that want to lean on them.  The women that fall victims to these men would not have the experience of having ‘man of the house’ around. It is a pity.
However,  it falls on parents to educate their children on the roles expected of them by their religion and culture; they should not just let them behave as they please. There is a lot at stake, women are not for sale or for barter and men should maintain their positions as heads of the family.