The great conqueror

‘Yes I have, but I also couldn’t help noticing that some people are yet to be conquered.’ He replied. ‘Nabila can’t seem to be able to help herself. But it’s still a big improvement on the day she and her sister came to challenge me at home for approving their mother’s remarrying plans. That day […]

‘Yes I have, but I also couldn’t help noticing that some people are yet to be conquered.’ He replied.

‘Nabila can’t seem to be able to help herself. But it’s still a big improvement on the day she and her sister came to challenge me at home for approving their mother’s remarrying plans. That day she was beside herself with rage. Threatening to leave the house before she was thrown out, accusing her mother of all sorts of things, she was virtually beyond control that day. Today however she just kept to herself and ate a little. She’ll come round inshAllah, I know her sister Fatima is working hard to get her to accept the new reality.’ I observed.

‘I hope she succeeds but I found it necessary to caution your optimism because love really hasn’t conquered everyone there. Yet ever the incurable romantic, you only saw what you wanted to see, a happily ever after affair.’ Tahir teased.

‘But love was indeed in the air. I mean did you see how dedicatedly attentive Malam Hussain was to Asabe’s every move? I haven’t read about mid-life crush, but this groom is a man in love. And his mood was so infectious everyone in the family seems just so loving and accommodating.’ I insisted.

‘Maybe you haven’t read about the mid-life crush, but the devotion you saw your friend’s new husband displaying is nothing other than the normal extra care men give to their new wives, that is all it takes, being a new wife.’ He answered.

‘Tahir, you mean you can’t give me this kind of attention unless I am a new wife?’ I demanded.

‘Well I’m only trying to be honest. I mean this gentleman is trying hard to impress both his wife and their audience. It isn’t the same with a man who has had his wife for a long time and sees no reason to pretend to her.’ He explained.

‘What makes you think he’s pretending? I think I know what’s happening here, I think that deep down you are not in support of this marriage. I think you are one of those who would rather have her return to her old home.’ I accused.

‘No, to be honest I have no opinion on the matter, or better still I am for whatever makes Asabe happy. However I will not deliberately blind myself to reality, as you seem to be comfortably doing.’ Tahir shot back.

‘Okay, but you must admit that we had a particularly nice iftar dinner. All those delicious dishes and drinks. And Asabe looking her very best, maintaining a bridal glow, I mean it’s the stuff great memories are made of. I know she deserved it after her harrowing divorce experience but even I didn’t expect her to get so transformed. Suddenly she seems like a young bride welcoming visitors into her home, without a care in the world.’ I enthused.

‘Well a care in the world is what Asabe really has, I assure you.’ He observed, while slowing down at a traffic light. ‘Here she is with seven children of her own and five from her new husband. She is supposed to maintain two homes so that she can remain with her children while she also minds the other house, where her husband lives with his own children.  You can see even from the sitting arrangement on the large parlour rug, where we ate, that each group of children preferred to stay with their own. She might think that juggling between the two homes will be easy because they now live in the same staff quarters, but I just don’t know how she can do it. However, I wish her the very best.’ He concluded, driving through the green light.

‘Yes she certainly deserves our best wishes, but you won’t understand my optimism until you’ve heard how long they travelled to get to the scene we witnessed at iftar today. When her eldest son returned from school to hear about the wedding plans, he threw an even bigger tantrum than the one his sisters staged in my house. He said he will never set eyes on his mother’s suitor and that he will not move an inch from their old house. By the time she sent for me he was beside himself with anger. He cried when he saw me and said ‘Will you ever do this to your children Anti Bint? Will you ever abandon them for some perfect stranger?’ again I had to go through all the arguments I had used with his sisters earlier. I had to make the point that she had sacrificed a lot for them and they should allow her to do what she wanted for once. He argued and I argued but in the end Asabe walked into the room and ended the discussion. She said to him that she was getting married and that he could take it or leave it. But she added that he has a choice to move to his father’s house if he will find living with her proposed husband intolerable. Then she walked out, with quiet dignity. When Asabe left, her son looked at me and said ‘This is what I am trying to tell you Aunty, already she doesn’t care what happens to us. She is sending me back to my father’s house. How can I live with someone who has not shared my life in the last three years? He is totally like a stranger to me now.’ Then he began to cry all over again.’ I narrated.

‘So how did she manage to get him into the house today? He seemed thoroughly at home with her husband tonight, if not too chummy.’ Tahir asked pressing the car horn in front of our home.

‘You know Asabe is a prayer warrior, just like me. When I joined her in the kitchen to bid her to be more patient in dealing with the children, as the whole thing was traumatic to them, she simply looked at me and said ‘I have entrusted everything to God. I am praying night and day that they should accept this marriage and give it a chance. I am also praying that it turns out to be the best for both Hussain, myself and our two families. I am confident that Almighty God will give us the best possible outcome. I will not relent in my prayers, in fact with the wedding only one week away, I now wake up late at night and pray several raka’ats entrusting God with giving me the courage to either forge ahead or back out before it is too late. Even after the marriage, if it takes place, I will use the oncoming holy season of Ramadan to pray for the ability to handle it and all the challenges it will bring. InshaAllah I hope to succeed. Help me pray to God to answer all my requests regarding our future.’ She begged, sounding very close to hears. ‘I will inshAllah, my dear sister, I will’ I assured her, giving her a farewell hug.

‘I see now why you found this iftar dinner such a landmark achievement. They’ve really come a long way since Asabe has at least been able to bring everyone under the same roof. We must still join her to pray even harder that their love conquers all their obstacles.’ He declared, stopping the car at our front door.