The importance of being a good listener

Conversation is a two-way activity. Whether in a social or work environment, people don’t just want to be heard, they want to be truly heard. At some point in life, we all need someone to pour out our hearts to hence the need for a ‘listening ear’. This is because the need to have someone […]

Conversation is a two-way activity. Whether in a social or work environment, people don’t just want to be heard, they want to be truly heard. At some point in life, we all need someone to pour out our hearts to hence the need for a ‘listening ear’. This is because the need to have someone listen to you cannot be overemphasized.

Lifextra sought people’s opinion on how important it is to listen when others speak. 

Samson Ibiwoye, an educationist, said “Well, even when you don’t have an answer to a problem someone is sharing with you, listening to them gives an impression that you care; that there is someone out there who is ready to bear their burden. It is a very good and important skill in human communication and relationships.”

He however stressed, “I believe listening helps comprehension and aids proper understanding of a subject matter, regardless of the topic focus. Listening enhances one’s comprehension and assimilation ability. It builds one’s Logic, sense of reasoning and solution providing.”

Stefn Sylvester Anyatonwu, a graphic designer, enumerated some importance of listening when he said “It prevents miscommunication, aids in message clarification, reduces the amount of frustration on the part of the speaker as no one wishes to speak and not be listened to.”

Concurring with Stefn, Ajah-Mong Lillian, an Abuja-based journalist, who reiterated that listening prevents miscommunication, added that listeners are perceived as intelligent and perceptive people. However, she stated that there were times when she doesn’t listen and “this is usually due to wrong timing. When you touch a nerve, trying to encroach on my personal beliefs and trying to force stuff on me, when I am not interested and cannot find a nice way to tell you off and when I am distracted.”

Most times, when we are communicating with someone, we are actively creating what we would say next, after the other person stops talking. This takes our attention off the other person and we tend to miss what they were saying. Listening involves more than just hearing, it also involves responding to what someone is saying. This process is called active listening.   

Michigan State University on their Extension website in an article “The importance of listening skills: Building better relationships through active listening” suggests that active listening can help you talk with others more clearly and with understanding.

It also stated that it is not always easy to listen, but with practice it can be improved, and suggested some strategies for improved active listening which includes focusing your full attention on the other person talking; maintaining eye contact, asking good questions.

It also suggests that one should try to look for hidden meaning. “Ask open-ended questions and make sure your tone of voice is sincere. Keep yourself from judging what the other person is saying. Try not to assume that you know what they mean or what they are thinking, and sometimes it helps to repeat to the other person what they just said, but in your own words. Put yourself in their shoes.”