The last dance of the legislooters
It is evident in the mass poverty used to plaster the mud huts that surround the incongruous edifices they put up in their respective villages. History records some in the number of scandals that have enveloped the now unhallowed chambers of the two houses since the return of pseudo-democracy in Nigeria. The Hansard records their […]
It is evident in the mass poverty used to plaster the mud huts that surround the incongruous edifices they put up in their respective villages. History records some in the number of scandals that have enveloped the now unhallowed chambers of the two houses since the return of pseudo-democracy in Nigeria. The Hansard records their mass absenteeism on a daily basis and the fact that some of them spend four solid years without bringing a single private member’s bill or even making a single contribution to any debate before the lifespan of their legislative year.
The Nigerian legislature is an expensive albatross on democracy, one of those tumours that makes the notion of government of the people an anomaly. But these people go around with airs as if nothing is amiss. Indeed, one of the first things they did on coming to The Dome was to fix their own salaries, which by the last count, is more than the salary of the most powerful president in the world. Then they passed an order of protocol which only decently placed them a little below the office of the president. Nothing is beyond them. Some are rogues, thugs and master riggers. Indeed, one of their own once described them as drug barons. They address themselves as distinguished and honourables when the fire was extinguished from them and honour has lost its meaning. When the world was being inoculated with conscience, most of these people were playing ball. When they returned, nothing was left, so they carry themselves with the arrogance and pomposity of a turkey bleached of its colourful plumes.
On the scale of scoundrels, most of these people have estimation that is lower than common scoundrels. They lie, they cheat and they steal. Even a clueless executive knows that they have the capacity of gluttons and would puke on the shoe of their prey and so exploit their greed for effect. Obasanjo would send his dogs to sniff out the chambers and unearth the skeletons while he ignored the cesspit of corruption around him. Goodluck Jonathan may not have read any file since he arm twisted them to give him the presidency, but he has mastered the capacity of the legislature for greed that he knows how to bait them for effect. These people went, like rats in the night and changed a law that was passed by the majority. Ironically, so low has the political system become that such people are not only touted as leaders, they want to occupy some of the highest honours in the land. These people think that Nigerians learn nothing and forget everything.
The cat and mouse game between the executive and the greedy legislature recently played out when President Jonathan wanted even his cook and housemaid to become delegates. Rather than shout him down, the legislature concocted its own you scratch my back, I scratch yours idea – they wanted unquestioned return to The Dome. They saw nothing wrong in a process that removes transparency from elections because, come to think of it, majority of them stole the mandates from the people. And when that assurance did not come, they behaved like a shark in shallow waters.
The dust has since settled, but old habits die hard. Only last week, the legislature spurned another yarn to buy for themselves favour from the people from whom they stole mandates four years ago. Because statistics now show that in the House of Representatives alone, 360 people will be looking for new jobs. They won’t be returning and it won’t be long when they realise that the winter houses they have built in summer clime will need electricity or fuel to cool off. But that is the least of their worries.
Suddenly, only a few months to their exit from Abuja, and with Jonathan having mopped up all available cash for his campaign with no project to show for the weekly contract-awarding council, the clowns want his head. For the first time in four years, they used the word impeachment to threaten Jonathan if he doesn’t implement the overbloated N4.6 trillion budget they passed for him over a year ago. And this is to give them a right of passage. They want to have emergency projects to show off, even if such projects, like the many white elephant projects that Jonathan has been commissioning all over the land, is incomplete.
It does not matter to them whether Nigeria has no money to implement the projects. Under their watch, both the foreign and crude reserves have been depleted to the level that mock the wanton spending of the prodigal. If he failed, they threatened, they would bring down the flames of Gehena. In the upper chamber, the threat is equally laughable. A presidential nominee was rejected because ‘he is too old and unsavvy with global trends of graft hunting. It makes you chuckle and ask if they rather fear massive transfer to Gasua now that the true winds of democracy is blowing across the Arab world which has become the vaults where they hide their loot since the West tightened its noose on kleptocrats? These people are known more for their misanthropism than their altruism so, when the leopard starts changing its spots?
With bills gathering dust atop their vaults, they have never failed to break a holiday to pass the budget just as they have never failed to show up at the ministries, departments and agencies for their kickbacks. In global climes, valedictories record the number of bills a legislature has passed; in Nigeria, they are looking for emergency projects to show off. It may take Nigeria another decade to get to Tahir Square, but in rejecting these crops of usurpers, they have shown that real power, actually lies in their thumbs.