The longest months

The nursery rhymes remind us that “February hath but twenty-eight days, excepting leap year”. So imagine my confusion on hearing that today is the 38th of February, 2015. I tried to correct my friends Yusuf and Rabiu, but they insisted that since they had not received their salaries for last month, the count continues. But […]

The nursery rhymes remind us that “February hath but twenty-eight days, excepting leap year”. So imagine my confusion on hearing that today is the 38th of February, 2015. I tried to correct my friends Yusuf and Rabiu, but they insisted that since they had not received their salaries for last month, the count continues. But to us who are not on any salary this is March, and it is becoming the longest we have to endure as we await the 28th, to go out and cast our votes for a new era.
In reality our wait may be shorter than those government workers expecting to get paid because, from all indications, most ministries, departments and agencies have no funds to pay their workers because they have complied with the directive to contribute to PDP campaigns. Having decided to go for broke, President Jonathan and the Clueless Cabal around him have decided to use ethnicity and religion (along with hard cash) to ensure they retain power come March 28. Since there is no Budget yet for 2015, funds are simply being “moped-up” from everywhere. They obviously believe they can resort to creative accounting to balance the books after the elections. The consequences of the current resort to public funds to win this election promises to be with us for some time to come.
Which reminds one of the soothsayer’s warning to Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar; “Beware the Ides of March.” While there is nothing intrinsically ominous about the Ides (15th) of March, or our fast approaching March 28th, the symbolism is still interesting. When people say to you, “Beware the Ides of March,” you better watch out. Caesar ignored the warning and paid the ultimate price in 44 BC. He had usurped the Republican government, replaced it with a temporary dictatorship which wanted to make permanent. His quest for power was thwarted by some prominent Romans who assassinated him right inside the Senate House on the Ides of March. Most link the phrase to warnings of some such dastardly acts. Not being Ayo Fayose or Patience Jonathan, death is not the symbolism we are referring to; we are not praying for anyone’s assassination. Ours go further back, before Caesar’s time, to the old Roman Empire when the “Ides of March” was sacred, and marked the culmination of the celebrations ushering in the New Year. The common folks observed it with parties, festivities and revelry and end it by symbolically beating an old man (representing the bad days) dressed in animal skins, and driving him out of the city, as if expelling the old year (or the old order). Jonathan and his people chose end of March, and it appears we may find ourselves, like the ancient Romans, using these last days of the month to celebrate their ouster.
But then again, those fearing February may not end soon, who are still waiting for their salaries, may also be proved right. We have squandered the rainy-day kitty, the so-called Excess Crude Account. The Naira is being allowed to fall and even if salaries are subsequently paid they would fetch us less in the market place. All the money now being distributed to religious and tribal associations will be “accounted for” under some dubious expenditure headings. In that we can trust the Minister of Finance and general over-seer of the economy, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. The people may continue to suffer but the official statistics will continue to show the economy doing well at 7 percent, or even some higher fictitious figure.
The PDP and Jonathan seem determined to win by any means, or ensuring they do not hand-over to General Buhari and the APC by any pretext they can manufacture. Indeed they seem to have finally unleashed the ultimate weapon: the First Lady herself! Her unstated slogan appears to be: “FIGHT DIRTY, OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!” To her husband’s supporters Mrs. Jonathan says “I bring you rice, I bring you money, I bring you brocade.” (As if it is her money). For the opposition “Mama Peace” instructed her listeners thus: “Anybody who come to you and say “Change”, stone him!” As for that section of the country where her husband’s support is evidently non-existent they can keep their votes, adding: “Our people no dey born shildren wey dem no dey count. Our men no dey born shildren throway for street. We no dey like people from that side.”  But is she really any different or even unhinged, as some have implied? I don’t think so. None of these statements should surprise us. What is actually surprising is that some people blame her at all, even hinting that somehow she is out of line; that she is embarrassing her husband. Are we really sure that she is not reflecting the views of Aso Rock Villa? Just because she decides to throw political correctness out of the window does not make her any different from Fani Kayode, Doyin Okupe, Asari Dokubo or Edwin Clark, who have all said similar things, or implied as much.
In any case is she also not using money, hate speech and “divide-and-rule” like Jonathan and the rest of the cabal? “Prophets” and some pastors may be bribed, malams may be financed to go to Mecca and pray (and there are many such on prayer-contractors for hire) and NTA/AIT may air whatever they want, this month will remain pregnant with possibilities. We only hope they are willing to accept the outcomes when we finally decide, by our votes, who should lead us. If only a sitting federal government can be change our democracy would be the better for it. This February is proving too long for those still waiting for their pay. The longest month however is this March; these elections cannot come too soon.