The many faces of envy

Envy is character trait which is considered by psychologists and sociologists as the worse of all evil traits inherent in man. This character negates good interpersonal relationships amongst people and has dangerous repercussions to the initiator, the victim and the society. An envious person does not condone the progress of others without bitterly resenting it. […]

Envy is character trait which is considered by psychologists and sociologists as the worse of all evil traits inherent in man. This character negates good interpersonal relationships amongst people and has dangerous repercussions to the initiator, the victim and the society. An envious person does not condone the progress of others without bitterly resenting it.

Socrates said that an envious person emanates because of other’s fatness, wastes his time to hurt himself because he is bitter over what he doesn’t posses while others do. His regrets and bitterness make him keep plotting how to remove the blessing of people or cause problems for them by ensuring that he destroys them or their reputation.

An envious person has no strength of character that will deter him from venturing into any form of mischief. Envy is the main cause of disagreements between people. It is the cause of selfishness.

Aside that, envy adulterates all other good deeds performed by the envious. People who spread rumours about others do so because they are envious. An envious person can go to the extent of eliminating his target completely from the surface of the earth. Since he can’t tolerate the success of others, he wastes his whole life in unending wrath and bitterness because as against his expectation, the prosperity of his target will continue to excel and this in turn burns his heart. An envious person is worse that an animal because he is not touched by the feelings of others.

The effects of envy can be located everywhere in our society in the rampant lack of communal progress precipitated by lack of love and tranquility among people. Lack of trust that circulates among the populace is usually caused by envy.

Some cause of envy is not far fetched as it is believed that favoritism in the treatment of one child over another in cases where parents have more that one child. When parents focus attention and love on a selected number of children, and neglect others, the end result is usually envy in the family. That feeling of being unwanted or inferior is what culminates into envy. Envy is also an outgrowth of incessant lack of justice, equity, fraternity between the leaders and the led in the nation generally.

Envy is a phenomenon in people’s character that makes them bitter when someone is making progress in life, attitude or possession which them to find all possible avenues to remove that goodness no matter how dangerous or ungodly.

I have seen people who have spoken negatively about others; spreading scandalous rumours against them just to rubbish their reputation and make them seem less important. The rich can envy those under them when they see them striving to improve their lives. Like wise the poor can envy the abundance of the rich. This proves to be one of the reasons why Nigeria remains underdeveloped.

Envy is not exclusive to the possession of material things alone, but also extends to people who are morally upright and truthful. Their detractors defame their character in order to feel better. Envy does not start and end with the feeling of bitterness against others’ goodness alone but also extends to making personal efforts to destroy it or kill the possessor. This dangerous trend is becoming commonly practiced because so much value is placed on material things and being upright is seen as a deviation from the norm in a country where deviants are the majority.

Envy is practiced in our homes, offices, business arena and extends even amongst neighbours. It is usually portrayed in physical attitudes such as denial of rights, disagreement; disrespect and false accusation just to mention a few.

Larai Musa aged 42 and a mother of four, says that the most dangerous portrayal of envy in the home is when her husband denies her most of her basic marriage rights. As if that is not enough, he packed all his children, took them to the village; thereby denying them  the right to quality education in order to frustrate her as his wife. She says his restlessness over her progress is instigated by the fact that despite his taking various measures to deal with her, God is still on her side. The perpetrator is either out of his senses or is under the control of some diabolical powers, she adds.

Male envy is also seen in the manner in which men disrespect and subordinate their female colleagues or subordinates. It is another form of male envy meted out on female employees today. Mrs. Jessica Bialose, a female civil servant who lives in Abuja,  says that a working woman is usually not carried along as a capable part of a male dominated team. Working women have to find other means of being recognized before they can enter their bosses’ good books or else, their career progression will be hampered, except with the intervention of GOD Almighty. Some men believe that they are ordained to be in charge, so, in rare cases where it is a woman who is head, men find it very difficult to comply.

Even in the business arena, male envy is meted out on women. Mr. Paul Iyoyojil, a graduate businessman, says that envy arises where the male feels inferior to the female even if he is educated. There is a general believe among Nigerian men that women who are well placed socially don’t respect men. A woman should naturally be under a man.

To Musa Yusuf Ashafa, envy is a common human phenomenon. It could be expressed in form of verbal or physical injury on people. Male envy in our homes  include denying  a woman  her right to run a business even from the comfort of her home or collecting her money and refusing to pay back or stopping her completely from mixing with others in order to make her totally dependent.

Male envy of women can come in form of verbal abuse and gossip .In the offices; envy is portrayed when subordinates refuse to carry out their schedules in order to make their boss look like a failure, if she happens to be a woman. Subordinates plot evil against their bosses in order to see them loose their schedule or even positions completely so that they can replace him.

Mr Pada Isaac says the major problem in Nigeria is lack of good character and interpersonal relationship amongst people. In the home, male envy is portrayed by a man verbally assaulting his wife or female neighour. In the office, it is exhibited as power tussle between men and women. It may also take the form of looking down on woman, verbal confrontation, insults, threats and physical abuse. A group of envious men may also plan to ambush having a female colleague who is excelling. In the business arena, Pada says it is exhibited in form of victimization, false                                                                                                                                                             accusation, defrauding or planning a set up for the victim to bring her down at all cost.

Mallam Shuaibu says men envy women’s progress because well established women don’t have regard for their husbands which causes men to stop them from succeeding in order to protect their positions as the head anywhere.

These are the evil machinations that are meted out on women by men because of envy. Why won’t men take caution and treat women as partners rather than competitors? Treat women with love so that you also can get the love of the Almighty. Women are no second fiddle anywhere as long as they are alife, they can excel to any position that society has unilaterally reserved for men and still be a complete woman. All men need do  is to try and stop the inferiority complex and accept women as partners in progress in the home, office  business arena or any where.

Remember, your mother, sister and daughter are also women and you will not want to see them debased or envied. Stop the envy today; help yourself through continuously working on your character. No man debases a woman except a mean man and you cannot have peace without good character. So, start the transition to a victorious life free from envy today.