The modalities of breaking up
There once was a woman so in love with a certain man that she gave up her birth name and adopted his name. “I give my life to you – speak for me big daddy,” she said. “I love the way you say ‘speak for me’,” he replied. “It is very romantic.”“Then I will call […]
There once was a woman so in love with a certain man that she gave up her birth name and adopted his name. “I give my life to you – speak for me big daddy,” she said.
“I love the way you say ‘speak for me’,” he replied. “It is very romantic.”
“Then I will call you my speaker!”
“My speaker! I love it!”
And thus she began calling him her speaker. She shared all she had with him including her father’s wealth and cars and even bodyguards.
One day, after he had visited his family home he returned, morose, and fell into a long deep silence. Nothing she did would make him speak. After a few nights, he broke his silence and said to her:
“My darling. I know you loved me so much and called me your speaker. But there have been developments in my family home that have forced me to reconsider this relationship. I do not hate you. Don’t get me wrong. My love for you remains untouched. It is just that my family – they want me to be with this other girl and I have said yes.”
“You said yes?” she screamed.
“Darling, it is not you, it is me,” he continued. “I need to follow the wishes of my family. You know they are my primary responsibility.”
“But I thought I was your primary responsibility?”
“You still are, my darling. But you know my family. We can still be friends. I can still be your speaker. Still use your daddy’s cars and bodyguards. Is this not what love is about? Let me still be your speaker darling.”
She ran away in tears to meet her father. Upon hearing what had transpired, her father stripped him of all his belongings, furious that he had taken another woman.
“The unspoken rules are clear,” her father began. “You cannot sleep in another woman’s bed and want to enjoy my property. It is immoral to do so.”
The man was unhappy and told his friends about being stripped of cars and bodyguards and how his now ex-partner didn’t want to call him her speaker anymore. Some of his friends were outraged along with him. Others said, it was cruel to just withdraw all those luxuries after he had gotten used to them. Some called the father childish.
To this day, the man maintains that she should never have stopped calling him her speaker and that he should still be driving her father’s cars.
There is no moral to this story. I just thought it was interesting.
In totally unrelated news, I hear that the Speaker of the House of Representatives has decamped to the APC only a few months to national elections in 2015. I am proud of people who stand for what they believe in. He insists that he should retain his seat and the privileges of that office. I think I agree with him. I am not sure why the writers of the constitution had to insert that irritating clause in section 68(1)g which says that once a legislator decamps from the party which sponsored his election, such a legislator should automatically vacate his seat. They should have known better than to do that. But I trust Nigerians not to allow a small thing like a section of the constitution assert their right to remain in office after decamping from the political party which sponsored their election. I am only happy that he is not coming in to muddle the waters of the presidential race. What happens in Sokoto, should stay in Sokoto.
As President I will amend secton 68(1) to read as follows:
1. A member of the Senate or the House of Representative shall NEVER vacate his seat just because people want him to. Even if:
a. He/She decamps to another political party and there is no split in the party on whose platform he was elected
b. He/She is caught taking bribes on camera and such video is played for the whole world to see.
c. He/She hardly attends sittings of the legislative house to which he/she belongs
This will make things a lot easier. Then no one will quarrel when someone cross-carpets or is caught stealing.
I wish Speaker Tambuwal well in his new party and hope that, as long as he doesn’t drag the presidency with me, he wins whatever post he is contesting for in 2015.