The mosque appearance

Dearest Buhari,  I know we argued about whether you should go to the mosque this Friday or not. Everybody stalks you to see whether you will walk out in public, just because you are their leader. Where in the world does a leader have to be seen often. I blame some of these Western politicians […]

Dearest Buhari, 

I know we argued about whether you should go to the mosque this Friday or not. Everybody stalks you to see whether you will walk out in public, just because you are their leader. Where in the world does a leader have to be seen often. I blame some of these Western politicians for this. They make themselves so available, even to silly journalists who ask embarrassing questions about everything and they do things like resign and apologize. Leadership isn’t what it used to be. When we had kings and emirs ruling, before the British came and demystified them, do you think those leaders showed their face so often and exposed themselves to cameras and bloggers and weight watchers and human rights activists and jealous politicians? No. Because they knew the value of power. And of mystery. 

Anyway, as my darling and mai gida, you have the final say and decided to go to the mosque. I have already heard people saying you looked unwell and had lost weight and all. Haters. They do not know that I quite love you the way you are and really, all I need is for you to keep being there and showing leadership. Like I told you last week, you are not a petrol attendant who needs to stand all day and interact with customers. You are not a day laborer. You are a leader. So allow me to say, you looked great in that white babban riga. Amazing. 

So I have to talk about a thing which is painful for me. I try to ignore the fact that although I would wish for things to be different, you do have a wife. I would have loved to be your only darling but then they say when life gives you zobo leaves, you make zoborodo. I have decided that you are my zoborodo. I thought we had agreed though when you were becoming leader that she would not feature in your leadership. This was the condition upon which I decided to stay and love you unconditionally. I ignored the fact that in the 1980s you were a dictator, kind of like a wife snatcher. I ignored the journalists you locked up. I ignored the retroactive laws. I accepted when you told me you had changed and that old things had passed and all things had become new. I still accept it. But when I heard her make a public statement to Nigerians on Twitter about your health I felt hurt. I thought, you are leader not her. People started asking me, ah is it that he doesn’t talk to you anymore? Have you been able to see him? We thought you were the one who was the main darling? And you know I couldn’t respond to them. I couldn’t even brag about these few days that we have been seeing each other since you returned from London. Because I know that they would remind me of the time you spent in London. I know they would ask me: did you know who he was with in London when he told you he was in hospital? I knew they would show me photos of you and the king of Morocco who visited you in London. And the pictures of all those who visited you in London. What can I say to that? I just know that I believe and love you. And that whatever happened, I forgive you. 

I know that you have asked your deputy to investigate your secretary and all the money that he stole. I just hope that your deputy doesn’t feel sorry for him and use some technicality to say he is not guilty. Me, I will be watching. He cant just steal our money and go free. That would set bad precedent. 

I know you are tired these days but I have to keep talking about the people we have jailed. I am particularly concerned about the Shiite guy. I know you are tired of me mentioning him and it is not that I have any personal interest in the matter. It is just that I think we have not been fair to him. I know many people don’t like him but we should not have killed his children and followers and destroyed his house. So, especially now that he has suffered all of these indignities, (and I hear our security guards almost blinded him when they were arresting him?) maybe it is time to release him. He will never get his children back. But let us do right by him my darling. It is never too late to do right. 

I will iron the rest of your white clothes while you sleep off the medication from today. You are always in my heart. 

Yours lovingly,