The Naira rebound in the era of #NeedFulWaka

Long time ago, I discovered that it was easier to cram AO Lawal’s O’Level Economics for a WAEC distinction than to make sense of how the US dollar manages to senselessly wallop the Naira. So, whenever I need to make sense of the nonsense called economics, I get a little help from my learned friends. […]

Long time ago, I discovered that it was easier to cram AO Lawal’s O’Level Economics for a WAEC distinction than to make sense of how the US dollar manages to senselessly wallop the Naira. So, whenever I need to make sense of the nonsense called economics, I get a little help from my learned friends. I laugh at lawyers who think that being fed a diet of Jean Jacques Rousseau, Montesquieu and the dissenting voices of Lord Denning makes them learned – they are not. Well, until I am confronted with the Naija policeman, I usually ask – wetin lawyers dey do self? Respect economists, they hold the keys to why God/Allah is yet to bless your hustle to the level of Otedola, Alakija, Elumelu or Dangote.
So, having fallen down to N400 to the dollar, the Naira has rebounded to N200 and above. This miracle would have eluded me but for hailers becoming online voodoo economists. No coincidence is more benign than seeing your currency rally as your president prays in the house of Allah – it is divine endorsement of #NeedFulWaka – Alhamdullilah! Dr. Sanusi, Ifeanyin Uddin, Ademola Adigun and my co-columnist, Tope Fasua would’ve watched me say mtoor, so this thing is not about books on Ricardo or Adam Smith but about Allah’s blessings. As a Sunday school pupil, I was taught that it is the blessings of God that makes rich without adding sorrow, so Allah/God has shown impartiality by jealously distributing it between his servants and his children?
Thank God I did not rush to burn my bridges of economic understanding. A CIBC report has predicted that the Canadian loonie would rebound against the dollar this year. There should be a debate with Dr. Adetola Motunrayo whether this is due to the economic wizardry of Justin Trudeau’s liberal government although his endorsement of Trudeaunomics is predictable.
Predictions from the CIBC, one of Canada’s leading banks is not like the ones credited to TB Joshua. The Canadian dollar has taken, as much bashing as it was capable of taking and CIBC warns that there are hills of snow to cover before the plateau of summer. Five years ago, the Canadian dollar was suffocating the universally indomitable US dollar.
By the way, neither Canada; Britain nor the US officially prays. None of their leaders run around looking for investors but our goats escape there to hide their stolen yams. For as long as anyone could remember, the few local industries still running in Naija run on diesel. This is why it is laughable that our president needfully attended the global climate change conference in Paris. China and India regarded as the worlds worst pollutants, at least have a measuring jar, Naija does not.
It was said that even Mama Charlie’s sterling, which is the King (sorry, Queen) of the Naija black market at N500 to a pound was dealt its own coup dur as its citizens haggle whether or not to stay in the EU forgetting that John Donne, the Vicar of St. Paul wrote long ago that no man is an island.
So, has Allah truly blessed Sai Baba’s #NeedFulWaka or has the inexistent economic team finally turned the tap to inject life into a comatose economy and rally the nation’s currency? Or, is the threat of OPEC giving us a false hope of a Naira rebound? How long could this last for an export-dependent economy? A week; two weeks; maybe a year! Hailers hate to look in the economic mirror for fear of their own reflection but reality is as stubborn as that reflection.
Even for its reputation as Allah’s home, the Saudis are looking for ways to finance a deficit of $98 billion. They are introducing stringent economic measures amidst growing social discontent. With boundless oil reserves, the Saudis don’t care if a barrel sells for ten cents as long as they can keep the oil of governance running. The world’s highest consumers of petrol are looking inwards for carbon-friendly alternatives while Naija is buying tokunbo.
It would then be imperative to pray but even more to plan. Hailers swear by accumulated presidential air miles that it could be done flying across the globe on the last dollar in the reserves but wailers disagree. Canada, the US and others bail out troubled local industries, but Naija taxes darkness and now hope to grab pensioner’s funds to boot. Sai Baba’s Turare, once reputed to generate megawatts has lost its potency to light candles.
So, yes, the Naira has received a jolt from the global economic powerhouse, the big question is – how do we sustain it? The few manufacturers left in Naija moan that its stocks of raw materials is depleting. Hailers say there’s nothing wrong with junkets that drain the reserves and bring nothing. Let’s hope that Yemi Osinbajo would find his own wings and fly to Jerusalem and Rome to beg God to balance the equation. Maybe then, the Naira would finally find its promised parity with the dollar. After all, in Naija prayer works wonders.