The perfect polygamist

‘Tell me your secret’ I said to my friend Hajjoh, as soon as our salams and greetings were over. ‘You look so happy and radiant when you should be gloomy and sad over your husband’s absence. What is happening?’ I asked. ‘Nothing, nothing is going on here. But do you really think I look happy […]

‘Tell me your secret’ I said to my friend Hajjoh, as soon as our salams and greetings were over. ‘You look so happy and radiant when you should be gloomy and sad over your husband’s absence. What is happening?’ I asked.
‘Nothing, nothing is going on here. But do you really think I look happy and radiant? Or is it one of your cruel jokes Bint? I know you get your kicks out of pulling my legs all the time.’ Hajjoh replied, smiling.
‘No, this is no joke at all. It is clear for all to see. I’m sure that even you have noticed it. What is curious is how you can start looking this good when your better half is half a world away in Asia.’ I answered.
‘Maybe things are finally being done the right way and my body is just quick to respond to positive vibes.’ She replied evasively.
‘How can things be right when your husband has been gone for  four months and you people have to manage this household and mind the children all alone?’ I wondered aloud.
‘Well, it was like this. When he was nominated for the six months course, Idi decided to tell his younger brother to take care of us. Of course, Tanimu won’t be living with us permanently since he has his own family to care for but he will be in charge of our general welfare by coming round to see us and providing money for our upkeep every month end etc. But the two of them couldn’t meet  before Idi travelled because Tanimu was out of town. So Idi told us that he will be emailing a list of instructions on how he runs this house to his brother. Therefore when Tanimu returned, he came to see us and because it was month-end he discussed our monthly provisions with us. I told him that he should just refer to the email his brother sent to him but he said he wanted to talk to us directly because, in his own words, ‘the email didn’t make much sense.’
He summoned my co-wife and I into the parlour and asked what was our normal provision every month. I told him that our husband gives us a bag of rice, and other dry foodstuffs, then he will give us a hundred thousand naira each for groceries. Tanimu asked how many we were in my room, though he knows all his nephews and nieces. I told him I have six children and plus me that makes seven of us. You know my co-wife has only her 3 year old son and his one year old sister so she disclosed the same to him too.
Tanimu was incredulous. He couldn’t believe how I, with 6 kids aged 18 to five should be given the same thing as a woman with just two infants. In reaction Sahura quickly said her husband was trying to practice equality. But Tanimu immediately told her that what his brother was doing was not equality but injustice. He told her that equality is when our husband gives the two of us the  same thing, but when he gives six older up children the same means of sustenance as two toddlers then that is injustice. He asked me how I was coping whenever I ran out of foodstuffs, I told him I always had to use my own money to buy things because Idi won’t replenish anything to us before the end of the month.
That day Tanimu went out and bought all our foodstuffs. He gave us what was for us as wives, an equal share and then went ahead to share all the provision for the kids according to their number and size. He also gave us pocket money for each child, also according to his or her age and needs. He said he will sit his brother down and talk to him when he returns. He insisted that his brother’s method had no justice or fairness at its core. I couldn’t help applauding him from the bottom of my heart.’ Hajjoh concluded.
‘What a fair-minded gentleman. How many wives does he have?’ I asked.
‘He has only one wife but he is the perfect polygamist. He knows just how to run a house without being unjust to anyone. Since he took over running our house I’ve been so happy because I no longer find myself in the desperate situations I used to be under Idi’s arrangements.
To be continued.