The power of ‘Sorry’
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse”, say the elders. In African tradition, you’re either sorry or not. True apology has no median. One of the hardest things for mortal man to do is sip the juice of humility while looking the offended straight in the eye, and say, “Sorry”. Avoidable wars have been fought, […]
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse”, say the elders. In African tradition, you’re either sorry or not. True apology has no median. One of the hardest things for mortal man to do is sip the juice of humility while looking the offended straight in the eye, and say, “Sorry”.
Avoidable wars have been fought, relationships that could have been salvaged have been terminally damaged, siblings have been torn apart, erstwhile friends have become sworn enemies just because an offender felt too self-righteous or too arrogant to verbalise an apology. However, being contrite is doubly gratifying – it ennobles the penitent as well as the offended.
Forgiveness is the reward of a heartfelt apology. Without it, the world will revert to the Mosaic law of ‘an eye for an eye’ which eventually leaves the entire society one-eyed. Forgiveness makes revenge unnecessary.
President Muhammadu Buhari has gone down in history as the first president to apologise for one of the dark patches in our political evolution, the annulment of the June 12, 1993, presidential elections won by MKO Abiola, thus bringing closure to that terrible chapter in Nigeria’s recent history.
“Our action today is to bury the negative side of June 12, the side of ill-feelings, hate, frustrations and agony. What we are doing is celebrating and appreciating the positive side of June 12… the June 12 that produced unity and National cohesion…. Accordingly, on behalf of the Federal Government, I tender the nation’s apology to the family of Late MKO Abiola, who got the highest votes and to those that lost their loved ones in the cause of June 12 struggle”.
Truth be told, nobody saw that coming. The declaration of June 12 as the new Democracy Day and the honouring of the winners of that election together with frontline human rights lawyer, Chief Gani Fawehinmi, was momentous enough. The apology to Abiola’s family and the other families who lost their loved ones in the struggle, was the icing on the cake.
The two-way nobility inherent in heartfelt apology was demonstrated by Abiola’s daughter, Hafsat Abiola Castello who, in turn, apologised to Buhari on behalf of her father who was friends with those who toppled Buhari when he was military head of state. “Who would have ever believed given the relationship that you had with Chief MKO Abiola that you would be the instrument God will use to honour this man and to bring recognition and healing to the country? …Let me use this opportunity, on behalf of Chief MKO Abiola because I know what he would have done, I use this opportunity to apologise to you, to apologise to your family, anything that he might have done to harm you and to harm your family”, said Hafsat. Waoh!
Those two apologies given under one roof in Nigeria’s Presidential Villa reminded one of Mandela’s statement following his election as president and his public forgiveness of his jailers and their accomplices: “It always seems impossible until it is done”. Now we have squarely confronted one of the demons dogging our stride to nationhood. There are several of them. It took 25 years to confront June 12. I have no doubt that we shall yet, if not now, then in the near future, come to terms with our other demons so that we can have some sort of closure and move on. After all, six previous governments before Buhari pretended that nothing happened on June 12.
I don’t agree with those who argue that we should simply continue blundering on as we have been doing since June 12 was not the only case of injustice in our history. I ask, should we continue to pile injustice upon injustice and cover up past injustices with the hope that they will disappear someday? Would anyone who truly wants Nigeria united condemn the government’s acknowledgement of one of the greatest moments in our political history?
I know it is convenient for some who think that this political summer favours them. But what of the rest of the country? What becomes of the nation in the many political winters ahead? I respect other people’s opinions but I those who dismiss the plight and concerns of their fellowmen can’t deserve my praise.
Since the June 12 election was annulled, we have become more polarised along the usual fault lines of ethnicity and religion. We are regressing. One step forward, three backward. Raw hate and tendentious stereotypes have become standard fare in public discourse. Yet this was the same country where a Muslim-Muslim presidential ticket won a landslide victory in all Christian dominated states to such an extent that if all of the votes cast for Abiola in his native southwest zone were discounted, he would still have won.
Buhari got this one right. Very right. In my opinion, he still has to attend to the restructuring issue. Let’s have a truly federal Nigeria. The spate of security challenges facing the country today, for example, could have been ameliorated if there was state police. This idea of policing the entire country from Abuja, like many of the other ‘federalised’ sectors, will simply not work.
WORLD CUP 2018
Quotable quote: “Some Nigerians, with their characteristic, impatience, are already bashing the Super Eagles for losing to Croatia. They can’t accept losing. They can deal with setbacks. They don’t recognise the lessons brought by such negative outcomes as building blocks for success.”