The price for excess

Not hearing an answer to my  salams, I still walked down the hallway towards the sitting room, then I heard a voice raised almost in anger. ‘In sha Allah, she will use that same mouth to insult him. In fact one day she will use the same mouth to insult even his own parents. Just […]

Not hearing an answer to my  salams, I still walked down the hallway towards the sitting room, then I heard a voice raised almost in anger.

‘In sha Allah, she will use that same mouth to insult him. In fact one day she will use the same mouth to insult even his own parents. Just wait and see.’ I heard Duduwa saying just before I stepped into the sitting room.

‘Who are you cursing, why are you letting off so much steam to wish someone bad luck? What did they do to you?’ I asked, stopping right in front of my friend and hostess.

“It’s one foolish groom, Hajiya Bint. I’m sorry you had to hear that. But don’t worry about him. Welcome to my home.” Duduwa rose and gave me a hug.

‘Thank you. I did the salam twice but heard no response so I continued walking till I reached you here.” I explained, taking the seat opposite hers. ‘Yet I’m still curious as to why you should be wishing anyone such ill-luck. Why would any mouth be used to curse a groom as well as his parents?’ I enquired.

‘The mouth he ostentatiously bought for twelve million naira. Can you imagine?’ She asked, rhetorically.

‘But what kind of mouth is it that can be bought? I mean, I believe we are talking about a human mouth here aren’t we?’ I queried, slightly confused.

“Yes we are, but the mouth- buying is metaphorical. Surely you know about ‘sayen baki’ (literally: buying of the mouth) the final wedding function during which the groom pays to see the smile of the bride after she’s been delivered to his home. I actually thought this event has been phased out because so many new wedding functions have been borrowed from other cultures and added to our own. Apparently I was wrong, there are people who still practice it and at a great cost too.” Duduwa explained.

‘I see, I guess you don’t like the fact that some people still practice it.’ I said.

‘No, I have no quarrel with it, and since a wedding is a time of fun and merriment, newlyweds and their friends should have all the fun in the world before they settle down to the serious business of marriage. But to give N12 million as the fee for ‘sayen baki’ is more than outrageous. What is this groom trying to prove?” She demanded.

‘Wait a minute, did you really say 12 million naira?” I asked, totally incredulous.

‘Yes I did. And this is the last of the wedding functions. Whoever can spend this much to wrap up the wedding, you can imagine how much he spent during the main festivities of the marriage. But why, for what reason?’ Duduwa queried.

‘And who is this guy? I mean do we have any idea what he does for a living?’ I asked.

‘That’s the interesting part Bint. He is the son of a Federal lawmaker. Some say a senator others say a Reps member. But whatever the father is, the boy certainly didn’t earn this money. He just stumbled on it because his father is in a position to give him. For sure, whoever knows the pains of working to save 12 million will never blow it on a single wedding, let alone the last wedding function.” She opined.

‘Yes, that’s very true. You see this brazen ostentation proves what we’ve been saying about the need to drastically cut down on the lawmakers’ emoluments. When they are earning tens of millions every month, in a country where 90% of the people can be accurately called poor, why won’t they waste it on frivolities? It’s like you rightly observed, if 12 million can be spent on sayen baki then maybe a 100 million or more was spent on the actual wedding functions.

And all to what end? So that society can say the family is rich, that they hosted the best wedding in town or that they are head and shoulders above their peers? Honestly I don’t even know what they aim to achieve? But it certainly does no one any good to waste so much money on a wedding. Except to massage their egos.’ I concluded.

“Definitely, that’s the only purpose it serves. And my nephew, who was among the groom’s friends told his mother that one tenth of that money could help many among them get married. My sister, whom I was talking to when you came in, just told me his observation. But he and the other friends just stood there seeing that amount wasted on the bride and her team. You know that’s what usually happens to ‘kudin sayen baki’, it’s for the bride, her sisters and friends to share and probably waste on frivolous things.” Duduwa complained.

‘Kai, I wonder when our authorities will put a stop to these excesses. Here they are raising VAT because they said we need more internally generated revenue to run the government, and they are yet to implement the new minimum wage because again they are worrying about where the money will come from. Yet all they need to do is to slash the pay package of lawmakers, ministers, governors (including security votes) by at least 50 percent and see how much difference that would make. As long as our work force remains top heavy, with a few earning more than they need, and the majority barely able to make ends meet with their earnings nothing will change.’ I predicted.

‘No, nothing could change since their kids will continue to live lives of opulence and excess while the poor will continue to live a life of poverty and pain. Of course the result will be soaring crime rate and violence. And the society will continue to bleed as a result. Then no one will be happy in the end. How unfortunate!” She lamented.

‘And this is why you don’t even need to wish ill on the groom by saying the bride will use her expensive mouth to insult him. The result of their excesses will catch up to them in other ways. Unless they stop it.’ I said.

‘You are right Bint. Nemesis will surely catch up to them one day, for being insensitive to the suffering of the masses.” Duduwa concurred.