The price of parenting through nannies

I have come to the painful reality that these days parents freely introduce children to a number of people than they can easily comprehend at such very tender ages. But they consciously indulge in this practice undermining the sensitivity and smartness of children to changes around them. In no aspect of family life is this […]

I have come to the painful reality that these days parents freely introduce children to a number of people than they can easily comprehend at such very tender ages. But they consciously indulge in this practice undermining the sensitivity and smartness of children to changes around them.
In no aspect of family life is this practice deeply entrenched than counting the number of untrustworthy nannies introduced to children at their very tender ages by busy parents. But it the long run, it affects them, especially at  their  impressionable stages of growth.
 Parents must be reminded that not everyone trains a child the same way, much as it is untrue to say every mother has the same method of training a child. The development and balance of a child starts from the tender age of which many parents regrettably neglect.
Mothers tend to forget that frequent changing of nannies at different points in the lives of children has its consequences. It mainly causes the challenges of having the children adapt to different identities and  by extension, ways of life of those closest to them and in this case, the nannies. They expose these toddlers  to new patterns of life (like eating, singing, clapping and even sleeping) as well as new set of rules, which may be at variance with what the parents would have preferred worthy for the child.
Ironically too, children tend to lose their self -confidence with frequent changes of nannies. It happens easily because just when they thought they have found their footing with the previous nannies, they are then made to start all over again with a fresh nanny.
“A child who has different nannies introduced to him or her very often will surely have self-confidence and self-esteem issues. He will feel the parents don’t have time for him because at every important step in his/her life, a new person comes to take over. He doesn’t know how to express the pains and ends up in tantrums for every new nanny that comes. His tantrums are not just for fun, but for the stress of getting to know and follow the rules of a new nanny all over again. With this kind of trend, the child will grow up having self -confidence and identity issues” says Adobi Okoye, matron in a government school in Abuja.
Introducing a new nanny could also affect the nutrition of your child, Ajoke Adegoke says. “A well trained nanny should know how to cook, but introducing different nannies in your child’s life will only alter his diet, because every nanny comes with her own culinary skills. The stage at which nannies are responsible for kids, parents lose control of what their kids eat. They feel it’s the responsibility of the nanny to make sure they get the required balanced diets, which in most cases   the nannies are ignorant of. Nannies tend to cook what is convenient for them and not what is expected of them. For me this trend isn’t right and parents, especially mothers, should be responsible for their children’s diet and not leave it in the total choice of the nannies,” she said
“Kids are smarter and they learn how to manage adults in their lives quite fast and that is why we need to be careful at the rate we introduce people responsible for their well-being into their lives. Since these nannies spend more time with them, they will naturally follow their ways of life and instructions, but when these nannies are changed too often, there will be clash of identities and mixture of influences on the child. And this isn’t good for the child,” says Rukaiya Muktar an educationist.
The frequent change of nannies in a child’s life sends a signal that parents    cannot be trusted with the welfare of children. This is not to say that if you find something wrong with a nanny, you shouldn’t try to correct it. But if we keep changing nannies,    the child grows up not feeling any particular pattern of training.  It shows that as parents, you cannot be trusted to make a definite decision in life. Or worst still, you are not fit to be called a parent.
Most importantly, as parents caution should be taken on how we address and communicate with nannies that are responsible for our kids while we are away. The way we talk and relate with these nannies is the same way the kids will want to relate with them. If we have a negative relationship with the nannies then you can be sure that the kids will also have a negative one with them. And this does not only stop here but the kid will also grow with that kind of orientation that you can talk nasty to those who work for you.
Again, we should understand that nannies spend more time with our kids. So it is important we study and understand the type of nannies that we entrust our kids in their care because as the kids spend more time with them, there is the likelihood of their orientation and characters impacted on the child.
Mrs. Ikechukwu Ify, an educationist, says “why do you as a woman need the full services of another woman. These nannies do more harm than good, if you ask me. Have you ever asked yourself why husbands are sleeping with maids? Well, findings revealed that maids are doing wives’ duties. Most wives are now full time face bookers, BB users, whatsapp, twitters, etc chatting all the time at the expense of their homes. Even when their husbands return from work, they won’t welcome them with love and husbands that don’t want argument will go straight to the kitchen to get whatever they want. Unfortunately, maids who are still intact not floppy like wives will welcome the husbands.”
“And at weekends, you don’t stay home to cook special meals, you leave your maids to do the task and where are you? Partying! Don’t you know these maids have needs as well and they have automatic promotion if your husbands should have sex with them? Women should stop allowing maids to perform your duties. Don’t start crying when it happens because you pushed him to do what he never wanted to do,” she adds.
Parenting comes with a lot of responsibilities and sacrifices, which we all must girdle our loins to face squarely, to make the lives of our children better and fruitful. We should frequently ask ourselves this question; “How dedicated are we as parents to the personal growth of our children? It will assist us review and assess developments around our children for the better. Remember, a worthy child is the pride of all parents!.