The problem with friendship on campus

As children mature, they become less individualized and more aware of others. They begin to see their friends’ point of view and enjoy playing in groups. Establishing good friends at young age helps a child to know how to relate with people in later life. Friendship is also a term used to denote cooperative and […]

As children mature, they become less individualized and more aware of others. They begin to see their friends’ point of view and enjoy playing in groups. Establishing good friends at young age helps a child to know how to relate with people in later life.
Friendship is also a term used to denote cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people. It can also be a supportive relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem and affection.
There are two kinds of friendship; we have friendship with the opposite sex and friendship with the same sex. Friendship with the opposite sex is common in tertiary institutions.
Some said they engage in it for pleasure, for some it is just to while away time and satisfy their emotional desires while others do it because others are doing it.. Friendship on campus is a serious issue that has affected so many students in their academic pursuit. Many students went to the university without boyfriends or girlfriends but before they graduated they had a good number of them. To some it really helped them while others said it weighed them down academically. Some also said friendship on campus is good because you are likely to meet your life partner there.
Some students of the University of Maiduguri interviewed shared their experiences on campus.
Anasili Angelo said, “I started University of Maiduguri from my remedial to part four. I never had a male friend that was very intimate; I only have casual friends and we meet in class or fellowship groups and after that everybody goes his way. What I feel about friendship on campus is that it will distract my attention from learning. I think friendship on campus is not necessary if you must graduate with first class.”
Another respondent, Aisha Habu Ciroma said, “I came to this university without a boyfriend but along the line I fell victim of friendship on campus. We started dating from our part one and since then we have been moving steadily. I never had problem with my studies since we started dating because we always read together since we are in the same department and the same level. Meeting my school boyfriend has really helped me.
“I have been having good result right from my part one till now that I’m in my third year. I don’t think friendship on campus is a problem; it is a problem when you fall in the hands of those who don’t take their studies serious and those who cannot encourage you to read. I will advice those that will like to join me to be wise, don’t go into any relationship with unserious students.”
Ruth Samuel who also shared her experience with our correspondents had this to say “Before I came to University of Maiduguri, I had boyfriends at home and when I got into the university I still engage in friendship because I think I need someone around me. As am talking to you now I have three boyfriends from different departments. Well am not too bad academically but if I will quit this relationship, I know I will do well in fact I can be a first class product. I read on my own anytime I want to.”
On her part, Hyelni Dauda Ndahi said, “Majority of those involved in friendship on campus are not doing well academically because they take it more serious than their studies. Some even miss lectures, tests, assignment and class presentations for the sake of a guy who is not ready to help them and he is not serious with his studies. Most of these things are found among ladies.
“Nowadays friendship on campus is not only found among students, lecturers are also involved in it. They date students even when they are married. Some lecturers chase after students just to fulfill their sexual desire, some students engage in friendship with the lecturers so as to obtain favor from them especially when they are not good academically.
“For you to build a meaningful, sound and healthy friendship, you have to define the purpose of that friendship. Be sincere and faithful, identify reasons for engaging in that relationship, to what extent that relationship will  last and also be a contributor because what you take into the relationship will determine what you will take out of it.”
She said students should be very careful with the way they interact with lecturers and fellow students of the opposite sex because students too can be harmful. “There are students who are into cult activities and if you are not careful you will fall in their trap and that will be a problem for you.” She cautioned.
Even though friendship on campus cannot be stopped, students are advised to be careful while on campus in order not to fall victim of   evil friends. Make sure it does not distract your academics which is your primary aim of being in school.