The pros and cons of long-distance relationships

Isi and Ami have been friends since their secondary school days, but a time came when they needed to go their separate ways. Isi had gained admission to study medicine abroad while Ami was to study civil engineering in one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria.

 

This was hard for them as they had become so fond of each other, and were becoming inseparable. Before leaving the country, Isi had a heart-to-heart talk with him (Ami) concerning their relationship and what the years ahead held for each of them. Because they both meant a lot to each other, they promised never to let distance be a barrier to their relationship. This went on for a year and six months until Ami called Isi one fateful evening and told her that he wasn’t sure if the relationship could continue, considering how far they were apart from each other.

 

Technology has influenced every area of life, including dating or looking for a potential partner. It’s not surprising nowadays to get registered on one of the dating sites and start looking for a partner.

 

Most people even argue that meeting someone online is better because it gives you the opportunity to choose from a wide variety of people, while others say that it’s not the same as meeting a person in real life. However, the scenario happens in almost every ‘normal’ relationship.  The question now is: ‘If you were Isi, what would you do’? Our respondents gave varied but interesting responses to the poser. 

 

Becky Emecho, a 30-year-old caterer, says: “Being in a long- distance relationship has its pros and cons. If both partners had been together for a long time and something suddenly came up that warranted one to go far, then there is a huge possibility that such a relationship will work, because the foundation had already been built.”

She explained further that: “But if a relationship was distant from the beginning, it has the tendency of being shaky because there won’t be enough room for both partners to know each other, which is very important for a successful relationship.”

 

Becky said to make it work, communication was the key and it could be done by keeping in touch through calls, and perhaps social network sites. “However, it can’t be compared to face-to- face communication which would avail you the opportunity to read expressions,” she argued.

 

But Susan Etiteh, who is in her twenties and single, said she can’t be in a long-distance relationship “because it can lead to promiscuity. Her reason is that “both parties can be in the same house and yet one will be cheating on the other, not to talk of when he is far from you.” 

 

Farouq Mohammed, who is married, holds a different opinion. He says whether the relationship is a long-distance one or not, if it is meant to work, it will.  “The distance doesn’t matter,” he stressed. “What matters here is how much work you are willing to do to make the relationship work.”

 

Citing a personal experience, Mohammed said he met his wife while she was just in her first year in school. “Right from the day I married her, I decided to be the one who would make more of the sacrifice because I wanted her to focus on her education. What I did was to visit her every two weeks. I travelled to Maiduguri from Abuja every two weeks for four years. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it,” he explained.