The second wife: Another look at northern polygamy
The story carried by Daily Trust that famous Kannywood actor, Adam A Zango is getting married caught my attention. For an industry that is struggling with decency issues, its leading star setting a decent family is a welcome development. But the story added that, he is marrying for the sixth time. Without reading further, I […]
The story carried by Daily Trust that famous Kannywood actor, Adam A Zango is getting married caught my attention. For an industry that is struggling with decency issues, its leading star setting a decent family is a welcome development. But the story added that, he is marrying for the sixth time. Without reading further, I concluded that the sixth wife will be meeting an empty home. And the reporter confirmed my conclusion in the succeeding sentences. Impliedly, 5 other girls are now divorcees or if fortunate remarried. Most of them leaving behind, moving along with children or entrusting them somewhere. Most likely to be raised impaired, bilaterally, or by proxy. I can’t believe that the romantic Adam I see on screens can cause this havoc to our dear sisters.
This story paints the gory picture of an endemic social problem bedeviling the northern Nigerian polygamous Islamic society. This problem of high rate of divorces is leading to army of divorcees, roaming our streets waiting for a second, third, fourth or fifth opportunity to settle down once again. This chance is compounded by another related one, that of many spinsters, who are yet to be picked by a suitor. Most of their contemporary males cannot afford to marry for economic reasons and many of the older men who are already married prefer to add another spinster than a divorcee. Apparently on jolly grounds, but mostly hiding behind reasons like the divorcee’s previous experiences, tastes, and possibility of their first Husband nostalgia.
Growing up in the North, few decades back, we can attest that divorce was a rare phenomenon. It was so rare that it even creates a stigma especially to the woman. Here we are today, were some marriages last only for days, especially in urban areas and it is becoming a normal way of our life. Why?
There are many reasons why this is happening. The first is most men of nowadays marry not for the sake of Allah but are led by flimsy fictitious and self-serving reasons in making a choice of a wife. Wealth and affluence appears to be the foremost qualification in choice of life partners. Our young men are not well tutored to grasp in real terms what marriage connotes. The idea in their head is that of a jolly affair after matrimonial bonds.
In my view, the Kannywood industry is one of the major contributors to this mindset. Most of their films are based on love that ends in a struggle to marry a loved one. In the end, the spouses are finally presented in mansions, well-furnished and cruising exotic cars leading our girls into believing that this is the only true picture of a successful marriage. Life in luxury is more than meets the eye. And people like Adam A Zango have a duty to adjust their films to be more realistic and also demonstrate in practice the patience and perseverance that is necessary to make a matrimonial life everlasting.
We should adopt the solutions proposed by His Royal Highness, the Emir of Kano Alhaji Muhammadu Sanusi II, on raising families away from tradition that is apparently failing. It is high time our societies begin to put in place full Islamic requirements regarding marriages vis-à-vis rights of women and children with fully powered enforcing institutions in place.
Ahmed Ibrahim, Gusau, Zamfara State