The souls builder

Train up a child in a way he should go so that when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverb 22:6) from the book of proverb we could see that there are necessities for training of children. Training in the life of a child goes a long way. Due to the fact […]

Train up a child in a way he should go so that when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverb 22:6) from the book of proverb we could see that there are necessities for training of children. Training in the life of a child goes a long way. Due to the fact that it determine what becomes of the child. Training helps in moulding the life of the child. It can be compared to a mould container that brings out the exact shape of the container no matter the substance that is poured in it. It brings the child to that full matured person that you really want the child to be. To train a child requires some efforts like good examples, relevant instructions and mentoring. Training a child is not an easy task; it takes a lot to really achieve the desired result. Only those who are really patient will attain that desired result. It is the work of the parties (father, mother and teacher) involved that is, the trainee and the trainer; if one party is faulty it would be very difficult for the other party to continue. Training should start from a tender age because by this time it is very easy for the parent (trainer) and also easy for the child (trainee) to take instructions. In training a child, you make sure that you feed them with the right information and instructions, any mistake made at this time if not quickly corrected can bring about deformity instead of building or moulding. Once the right information are instil in the life of the child, you have nothing to fear because the child become the representation of what he has learnt,  training stage should be seen as an important aspect in the life of the child.

However, every child trained properly, grows up to become a responsible young man and woman and should be able to differentiate good from evil. Young people should be taught how to be assertive that is making the right decisions for their lives, they should be responsible for their actions. Be ready to say yes when it is yes and say no when they are to say no. Many young people cannot differentiate good from evil because they were not taught how to make decisions. Most times, we discover that many parents take the lead when it comes to decision making. Pampering would not help; some parents do not want to hurt their children, even when they know that they are not doing the right thing. “If you spare the rod, you spoil the child” (Proverb 13: 24). It is better to let them feel the pain now when they are still tender, soft and young than when they are old and weak. “You cannot bend a dry fish because it would break”. They should be taught how to plan and make decisions so that they would not end up making unnecessary mistakes. Some will even go to the extent of displeasing themselves to please others the truth is that you cannot please everybody. It is the duty of the parents to catch them (children) young at a very tender age and feed their minds with things that are good, noble, chaste and productive so that they can become good in themselves and also transfer the good to others. Some parents are too busy to teach their children, so they decide to place the burden on the shoulders of nannies and caregivers. No matter how busy they may be, it is important for them to teach their children the right thing.

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More often than not, many young people are seen to be more comfortable with their friends (peers) than their parents. Before their parent they are one person while with their friends they act differently. Many young people possess two different personalities. Some parents do not even know their children and what they are capable of doing. It is the duty of the parents to befriend their children and get to know them individually. Young people are capable of doing anything they find interesting. They are always willing to explore, that is trying out new things. They want to be popular, famous and even become celebrities. Everybody wants to be celebrated even those who have nothing to offer also want to be recognized. What a shame! Some of them are not willing to go to school or study, their interest is in making quick money and they can do anything to attain that stage. To them everything is money, fame and power. If you have money you can do anything. But they have forgotten that there are some things that money cannot buy like good character, integrity, good morals, respect. All these values cannot be bought with money because they are instilled in us and they become part and parcel of our lives.

Similarly, when young people lack the necessary value, they become empty and need something to fill that vacuum; they would engage themselves with some immoral activities like drinking, stealing, smoking, gambling, cybercrime among others. Many a times they end up being frustrated, dejected and  some go into depression and commit suicide. All these happen to them because the proper values were missing. Funny enough, these young minds are our future generation; they form the link between the present and the future generation. Their care and concern should be our key responsibility as in the days of old when the training of the child is the responsibility of everybody in the society, unlike our present age (computer era) every man to himself.

This week the Catholic Church is celebrating an icon, a legend, a hero and a soul builder, a saint to the core, a man after God’s heart. His name is St Don Bosco, born in Italy in the year 1815; he lost his father at a very tender age. He had a poor background, but he worked hard to overcome every obstacle. His mother trained him in the fear of God and instilled good values in him. He discovered his vocation at a very tender age of 9 years and entered the priesthood. As a priest, he decided to help young people who have no one to teach or train them because he believed that if the proper values are instilled in them they will not go bad. He worked with many young people and reformed their lives both physically and spiritually. He built an oratory where they pray after the day’s work. His love for young people knew no bound. He served as a father to the orphans, hope for the hopeless, home for the homeless, job for the jobless, by creating empowerment programs such as education (teaching), printing press, carpentry and even vocation to the priesthood (Salesians). He became the ‘soul builder’ by moulding the lives of young people giving them reasons to live again; one of those who attained perfection (Sainthood) was Saint Dominic Salvio. He was one of the young minds that Saint Don Bosco trained to the level of attaining perfection.

The youth are the leaders of tomorrow; if they are not properly trained our tomorrow will become problematic. Instilling good values in the minds of young people is the duty of every parent and all those who have the opportunity of doing so; we need people like St. Don Bosco of old who are willing to sacrifice their time, talents and resources to channel the lives of these youngsters to the right path. 

By Margaret Ogbebor SSMA, a Catholic Nun, working in the Catholic Diocese of Sokoto. She is the Head Teacher of St Martin de Porres Nursery and Primary School Katsina. [email protected]