The tale of two Olympics
Pity that these days, not many people want the spiritual medal as much as they desire the gold that rusts. If you think I am lying, please check Daily Trust of August 8 where the Hisbah or holy police, reportedly arrested 30 able bodied Muslims who were dodging the fast and perhaps hoping to cash […]
Pity that these days, not many people want the spiritual medal as much as they desire the gold that rusts. If you think I am lying, please check Daily Trust of August 8 where the Hisbah or holy police, reportedly arrested 30 able bodied Muslims who were dodging the fast and perhaps hoping to cash in on the merriment that comes after. Once picked up, they were sent to a fasting room to pick up a trick or two about adhering to Allah’s will. In London, one Olympian came against the Olympic police by having a secret rendezvous with his wife. For that reason, he was sent home to go and get the full doze of whatever he felt he was missing. One only hopes he had to pay back the taxpayer who did not send him to London on a second honeymoon at public expense.
I love the Olympic spirit, be it the spiritual or the physical. Take a state like Zamfara for instance, its enemies claim that the government has been owing some of its staff their hard-earned salary. Rather than pay up and enable them enjoy the spiritual Olympics, its government decided to spend more than it receives from the federal purse in feeding the people during the fasting season. Trouble is, when government feeds you, a plate of tuwo tends to cost more than you could get it yourself and usually tastes – well worse than either your mum or your wife makes them. If that happened in Zamfara, it would be Haram and Allah helps the guilty because if you ask Mujaheed Asari Dokubo, Zamfara is so geographically disendowed its allocation from the federal government is not enough to meet its budgets. What more, Dokubo wants to do something about it, sort of make Zamfara starve.
For the unpaid workers and their benevolent government, they have three prayers. One is that the rains come in their benevolent quantity to prove that the desert is the centre of agriculture; the second is that in the alternative the sands become oil sands and the third of course, is that whichever becomes Allah’s will, armed robbers would not return and take the proceeds and innocent lives. From the figures I see coming from the coffers of Father Ramadan, Zamfara workers should forget about getting paid after the fasting season, except with a little help from generous banks. Problem only being the fact that banks lend at usury, another haram.
We should ask President Jones’ boka, babalawo or dibia to extend his luck to sports. If that happens anytime soon, people would forgive and forget his sins for a while. For now, they say he has brought bad luck into the sporting world. Even Asari his own generalissimo says he is disappointed except that I was not aware that he was appointed in the first place. Be fair, for all the circus that oozes from Faroukgate, this government has earned a sports laurel. How could people forget so soon, the FIFA corruption medal earned by a reputable Naija FIFA official a few months back, it must be something of a diamond medal, totally in sync with the directive principle of PDP policy.
But then, if you ask Asari the reason we are doing so bad in London must be because the Olympics committee has failed to include brigandage, oil bunkering, kidnapping and armed robbery to the games. But moreso because the team is filled with indolent northerners, this is the obsession of the Mujaheed since he dropped out of the University of Calabar. Apart from killing Naija soldiers to pave way for unbridled access to the nation’s oil. Dare we not say steal, because Asari cannot steal what belongs to him. The north deserves its insults from the Mujaheed, it is a price to pay for their rush to become desert rats instead of insisting that Allah put the oil within their territory. Its a lesson for reincarnation – insist on being born in the land where the treasure is.
In fairness, President Jones knew that his team would not perform, so he went to Jamaica to share in Bolt’s victory; after all there may be many nations, but one black race. For that reason, the consolation is that while Team Naija went on sponsored summer holiday to London at our expense, Team Black is a winner anyway flying the colours of the rainbow. For their enterprising sporting spirit, I share President Jones’ statelessness. Who says Africa was not on top of the medals’ table? They truly must be colour blind. All I can say to every black winner out there is remember what the Goggled General said to the Olympic team – bring back the cup.