This kafi-zuru affair

‘Wa alaikissalam’ I replied, the moment my niece answered my call with a salam. ‘Eid mubarak Zahra’ I added. ‘I’ve been expecting you to come for your barbeque condiments since yesterday but you never showed up. What happened?’ ‘I’m sorry I didn’t remember to tell you Aunt. But we are not doing the Sallah barbeque […]

‘Wa alaikissalam’ I replied, the moment my niece answered my call with a salam. ‘Eid mubarak Zahra’ I added. ‘I’ve been expecting you to come for your barbeque condiments since yesterday but you never showed up. What happened?’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t remember to tell you Aunt. But we are not doing the Sallah barbeque this year.’ She replied.

‘Really? I suppose most of your invitees have gone for the Hajj, haven’t they? It happens to us sometimes too. You can just relax and have a simple family-size barbeque after you have shared the meat to neighbours and the needy.’ I suggested.

‘No Aunty Bint this has nothing to do with our friends going on pilgrimage. It just has to do with the size of the ram. We don’t have enough meat to embark on our annual sallah party and Habibu won’t hear anything about buying a third ram.’ She disclosed.

‘Oh dear, but you can still do so with two rams. I mean you may not have to serve as much as you used to. After all every one you invite also has sallah mutton in their house.’ I advised.

‘But the second one isn’t quite a ram. It’s nothing more than a lamb. A kafi-zuru by all standards. In fact I doubt if it’s eligible for use as the Eid sacrifice. I don’t know what came over him but Habibu didn’t think twice before buying that tiny, scrawny animal and dragging it to my doorstep.’ She complained.

‘But are you sure it’s for this sacrifice? Maybe he bought that for another sallah and the real sallah ram will be brought later. I mean I can’t see your husband buying an underaged ram for Eid il kabir when he knows the eligible age for the sacrificial animal. You know how men like to pull our legs sometimes, he must be pulling a prank on you.’ I offered.

‘No Aunt, this is definitely no joke. The moment I protested the size of the lamb, he said it was all he could afford and added that we will be sacrificing only two this year because there is no money available to buy three. Just imagine, even when it was just the two of us, he was buying two rams. Then the children came and we would slaughter one more in their name. That was why I encouraged him to start the kind of sallah barbeque I used to attend in your house Aunt, because we always had extra meat even after the sharing. And since I’m not a big fan of fried meat, I preferred that we invite friends over and eat the grilled. 

Now, out of the blues he brought me a kafi-zuru ( literally ‘better than nothing’) and expects me to host a sallah barbeque with it. Does he think I’m a magician?’ She asked, rhetorically.

‘Hold on Zahra, do you mean that the decision not to host the barbeque is yours alone? I thought it was a mutual decision because you both believe the meat won’t be enough?’ I asked.

‘No the decision is mine because I can’t see how we can manage the meat. But Habibu has gone ahead with his plans, he went out to get fruits and vegetables for the two salads. His suggestion is that we share the big ram into two, use one half for the barbeque and the other for sharing to neighbours. Then we will fry the small one and share between the kids and random visitors. You see he has it all figured out because he won’t be the one to do all that micro- management.’ She complained.

‘I think your husband has a point. You can manage the situation if you try not to be negative about it..’ 

‘But I’m not being negative about it Aunt’ she interrupted. ‘I am only being realistic…’ 

‘No, you are being negative Zahra, you have to accept that. All you want is to see the three rams you used to see every year. And since you couldn’t see them this year, you are against anything different. But the way out is this. Accept his suggestion then add some chicken into the barbeque, if you feel the mutton won’t be enough. If you don’t have any chicken in the house, politely ask him to buy some, so that you can add them. After all chicken can never cost as high as ram in this season. Get him to buy a few, then add to the mutton and have your usual sallah party. The chicken will make for variety and everyone will enjoy it more.’ I enthused.

‘Really Aunty? Ok I will try that in sha Allah.’ She agreed.

‘Yes, try your best Zahra and don’t forget to come for the condiments as soon as possible.’ I said.

‘I will Aunt. Thanks for everything.’ Zahra replied before she hung up.