This mat of shame

‘What is wrong with you Bint? You’ve been tossing and turning in this bed for so long, you are making it impossible for me to fall asleep.’ Tahir suddenly said, in the darkness, while turning over to my side.  ‘I’m sorry, I had no idea you were awake. I’ll try to sleep now but if […]

‘What is wrong with you Bint? You’ve been tossing and turning in this bed for so long, you are making it impossible for me to fall asleep.’ Tahir suddenly said, in the darkness, while turning over to my side. 

‘I’m sorry, I had no idea you were awake. I’ll try to sleep now but if I still find it hard to sleep, I will quietly go back to my room.’ I promised.

‘But why should you find it hard to sleep. It is late at night, you are not exactly a spring children and you’ll need to wake up at dawn to pray, so why should falling asleep be a problem?’ He asked.

‘It’s the video that I saw today. I can’t get it off my mind. It’s been haunting me all day and now I keep wondering what I’d do if you were the one involved.’ I answered.

‘What video is that? And when are you going to stop wasting your time on social media stuff that gets you all worked up and keeps you awake at night?’ He demanded.

‘Well, sometimes I can’t help it. Even if I tried to resist social media chat, it just creeps up to you in other ways.’ I defended myself. ‘And I was referring to the video of the senator with the two young ladies in a hotel room. I can’t get the clip off my mind. Not because it shows much because he wasn’t caught in the act, but because it suggests the obvious, which was clear to see since the man was dressing up. So all day long I’ve been asking myself what I’d do if I were his wife. In other words I can’t fathom what situation I’d be in now if it was you in that video.’ I explained.

‘Do you really think l could be caught in a situation like that Bint?’ Tahir asked, suddenly sitting up. ‘Is this really what you think of me?’ He sounded incredulous.

‘No, not at all Hubby dearest. I was merely trying to empathise with the senators’ wives. I mean we are talking about a father, a. grandfather and a man of status in the society. How would you feel knowing that the man you’ve held up as a role model for your children and the society is so heavily flawed?’ I asked.

‘But there is no need to get all worked up about this social media gossips, the video might have been fake. Any look-alike can pose and detractors can use it against him.’ Tahir offered.

‘I had hoped so too, darling husband but the senator’s denial said it all. Initially he said opponents were after him then he said they had no business with his private life. If I were in his place I would deny to high heavens that it was me. Then I will repent sincerely to The Almighty and never go back to a such sin again. But to angrily defend such a scandal by saying it was your private life is not merely belligerent but also foolhardily. Too much was at stake for him to resort to such a stand. He is, after all, a husband, father, father in law, grandfather, former governor and now a serving senator. To defend such a high society status one can resort to a blatant lie and still escape. Do you remember when the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal broke and everyone was shaking his head in wonder. All Hillary did was to appear, a few days later, and allege a right-wing conspiracy against her husband, and suddenly public sympathy was all for him. It took the determined efforts of those who wanted to expose the President, for the case to be brought back to the front burner after Mrs Clinton’s defence.

But this senator is not a president. If he had looked at the camera and denied being the man dressing up, in a local hotel room, while two young women hovered around, it would have done the trick. But he quickly defended the indefensible and now everyone believes it’s him in the video.’ I lamented.

‘Yes, but that’s the typical reaction when someone is caught in a show of shame. They resort to belligerence and self-defense to show the scandal wasn’t a big deal to them. The Hausa saying ‘Tabarmar kunya da hauka ake nade ta’ (the mat of shame can only be folded in a fit of madness) captures it all. This senator knows the gravity of what happened better than you and I. But sometimes that temporary madness is their only armour against a world that has witnessed their shame. Let’s just hope that he has learnt his lesson and henceforth will be content with the lawful wives he kept at home.’ Tahir prayed.

‘Amen to that, hubby dear, and let’s also hope that other senators, governors, high ranking politicians, civil servants, military men and others all indulging in such secret, illicit affairs will desist, repent and be content with their spouses. We all know that this senator is only one of the numerous aging men who engage in such sins believing they won’t be caught. It’s our prayer that what this young, video-recording lover did to the former governor teaches them that they can be betrayed too. Let’s also hope that even if they don’t stop out of respect for morality, they will do so to avoid scandals and loss of the respect of their own family.’ I concurred.