TIME FOR ANOTHER BREAK!

LOAN: Nasruddin moved to another city and one day struck up a conversation with a stranger. At one point, he asked the other, “So how’s business?” “Great,” the other replied. “Then can I borrow ten dollars?” “No. I don’t know you well enough to lend you money.” “That’s strange,” replied Nasruddin. “Where I used to […]

LOAN: Nasruddin moved to another city and one day struck up a conversation with a stranger. At one point, he asked the other, “So how’s business?” “Great,” the other replied. “Then can I borrow ten dollars?” “No. I don’t know you well enough to lend you money.” “That’s strange,” replied Nasruddin. “Where I used to live, people wouldn’t lend me money because they knew me; and now that I’ve moved here, people won’t lend me money because they don’t know me!“

COLD: It was a cold winter day, and a heavily dressed man noticed Nasruddin outside wearing very little clothing. “Mullah,” the man said, “Tell me, how is it that I am wearing all these clothes and still feel a little cold, whereas you are barely wearing anything yet seem unaffected by the weather?” “Well,” replied Nasruddin, “I don’t have any more clothes, so I can’t afford to feel cold, whereas you have plenty of clothes, and thus have the liberty to feel cold.”

SERMON: A scholar invited Nasruddin over for dinner one night. Nasruddin, not having eaten much that day, was famished when he got there, and eager to eat as soon as possible. After two hours, however, the religious leader had yet to offer Nasruddin any food, and instead spoke nonstop about a variety of religious topics. As Nasruddin grew more annoyed with each passing minute, he finally interrupted the man and said, “May I ask you something?” “What?” the religious leader asked, eager to hear some religious question that would prompt him to continue talking. “I was just wondering,” Nasruddin said, “did any of the people in your stories ever eat?”

THINK: A monk said to Nasruddin: “I have achieved an incredible level of disattachment from myself – so much so that I only think of others, and never of myself.” To which the Mullah replied: “Well, I have reached a more advanced state than that.” The monk asked: “How so?” Nasruddin: “I am so objective that I can actually look at another person as if he were me and, by doing so, I can think of myself!“

ASLEEP: Nasruddin was lying on his couch with his eyes closed. His brother-in-law went up to him and asked, “Are you asleep?” “Why do you ask?” Nasruddin asked. “I was wondering if you could lend me three hundred dollars,” said the other. “Well,” replied Nasruddin, “let’s return to your fist question – ‘Am I asleep.’ The answer is yes I am!“

WIFE: Nasruddin, knowing his son was looking for a wife, asked him what type of wife he wanted. “One who is intelligent and expressive,“ the latter replied. “OK,” replied Nasruddin, “I’ll help you find such a woman.” So, as part of his plan, Nasruddin led his son to the town square. He then slapped his son in front of all the people and exclaimed, “This is what you get for doing exactly what I told you to do!“ One young lady saw this and remarked, “Stop hitting him. How can you punish him for obeying what you said?” When the son heard this, he turned to his father and said, “She seems like the right woman for me – don’t you think so?” “Well,” replied Nasruddin, “she is certainly expressive and intelligent, but perhaps there is a woman out there who is an even better fit.”So Nasruddin led his son the neighbouring town’s square and repeated the same scene. This time, a young lady saw this and said, “Go ahead and hit him. Only a fool would follow orders so blindly.”When Nasruddin heard this, he said to his son, “I think we’ve found your future wife.”

BABY: Late one night, Nasruddin’s baby started crying. Nasruddin’s wife turned to him and said, “Husband, go take care of the baby. After all, he is not only mine – he is also half yours.” Nasruddin sleepily remarked, “You can go stop your half from crying if you want – but as for me, I will let my half continue to cry.”

JOY: One day, a man lamented to Nasruddin, “I am rich, but I am sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone travelling in search of joy – but alas, I have yet to find it.”As the man continued speaking, Nasruddin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off. The man chased him, and soo Nasruddin ran out of the man’s sight. He hid behind a tree and put the bag in the open road for the man to see. When the man caught up, he saw the bag and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy. As he danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasruddin came out of hiding and said to him, “There, you have some joy now!”

LAKE: One day, Nasruddin slipped and nearly fell into a lake, but was caught by a friend walking next to him. From then on, every time Nasruddin encountered the friend, the latter was sure to bring up the incident and make a big deal about it. After months passed and Nasruddin could take no more of this, he led the friend to the same lake and, with clothes and shoes still on, deliberately jumped right into the water. As he lay in there, he remarked to the friend, “Now I’m as wet as I would have been if you didn’t save me that day…so for goodness sake, stop reminding me about it!“

PRICE: One day, the town’s new conqueror asked Nasruddin, “If I were a slave, how much would I cost?” “Five hundred dollars,” Nasruddin responded. “What!?“ the conqueror shouted in great anger. “Just the clothes I’m wearing right now are worth five hundred dollars!“ “Yes,” replied Nasruddin, “I factored the clothes into my price.”

DESSERT: After dinner, Nasruddin and the friend he invited over were having strawberries as sweet. “Have some more of the strawberries,” Nasruddin said. “Thank you,” replied the friend, “but I have already eaten five of them.” “I usually don’t count,” Nasruddin replied, “but you actually ate ten.”

GOSSIP: The Town Gossip said to Nasruddin, “I just saw some men delivering a huge pot of stew.”Nasruddin asked: “And what’s it to me?” The Town Gossip added: “They were taking it to your house.” Nasruddin replied: “And what’s it to you?”

THERE: One night, Nasruddin awoke and exclaimed to his wife, “Wife! I have just been inspired in my dream! Please get up and get me a pencil and piece of paper at once!“ His wife lit a candle, fetched the pencil and paper and handed them to Nasruddin. He wrote rapidly, and was about to put out the candle and go back to sleep when his wife exclaimed, “Wait. Please read me what you wrote. Nasruddin picked up the paper and read, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Yes, that’s where we exactly are, Nasruddin!