Time to stop maltreatment of widows

So many times I ask myself why a woman would derive pleasure from humiliating her fellow woman but can’t seem to find an answer to that question. Of recent, I saw a campaign against widows’ maltreatment in Nigeria, led by a famous actor cum politician, Desmond Elliot and his counterpart Mercy Aigbe. Again, I asked […]

So many times I ask myself why a woman would derive pleasure from humiliating her fellow woman but can’t seem to find an answer to that question.

Of recent, I saw a campaign against widows’ maltreatment in Nigeria, led by a famous actor cum politician, Desmond Elliot and his counterpart Mercy Aigbe. Again, I asked the question, who is maltreating the widows? According to the actor turned politician, “we live in a society where women are blamed each time a man dies. But no one ever thinks of the pain they have to bear in bringing up the children left behind”.

In Nigeria, especially in the eastern part of the country where these barbaric traditions are being practiced, they will tell you it’s their tradition and it must be respected. I am not disputing the fact that traditions should be respected but who are those responsible for the implementation of these traditions? Are they the same Christians or Muslims who claim to have renounced these traditions? If a man dies in some parts of the country, the widow is made to sleep in the same room with the corpse and even forced to drink from the water used in bathing the corpse. Yet, if a woman dies the man is never subjected to such practice. Not even if there is clear evidence that the husband is the killer.

Women, when are we going to wake up from our slumber? When are we going to stop humiliating one another? When a man dies it’s the mother or sisters who point accusing fingers at the wife and they are even at the fore front of the clamour for the execution of the traditions. Yet, we say we want such traditions to be abolished? Who will agitate for the traditions to be abolished? Is it we the women or the men?

When our fellow woman’s husband dies, a fellow woman is always the first to call for the tradition to take its course but if it happens to her she blames the society for the inhuman treatment. The golden rule says, do unto others what you want them to do unto you; also don’t do unto others what you will not want them to do unto you.

Nigerian women, especially those from the eastern part of this country, where these traditions are practiced, we must come together and speak with one voice and say no the maltreatment of widows in Nigeria.  We must do this to effect the change that we desire.  Let’s always remember that a woman is a full circle and within her lies the power to create, nurture and transform. (Diane Mariechild). We should create our own world where we would have equal rights with the men, nurture the rights and have our world transformed into a better place. According to Arlene Rankin, “The way in which we think of ourselves has to do with how our world sees us and how we see ourselves successfully acknowledged by the world.   

Deborah Phillips wrote from the Department of Mass Communication, Bayero University, Kano.