Topping the scale of national hypocrisy

National blood pressure would be lowest if we all reach consensus that governance stood still since 1984 until the return of Sai Baba. Our greatest undoing is our propensity to make incomparable comparisons. Wailers find it hard to believe that nothing existed before Sai Baba took his oath of office and that he is building […]

National blood pressure would be lowest if we all reach consensus that governance stood still since 1984 until the return of Sai Baba. Our greatest undoing is our propensity to make incomparable comparisons. Wailers find it hard to believe that nothing existed before Sai Baba took his oath of office and that he is building on a lacuna that has existed since 1984.
In April of the year 2014, two bombs went off at a motor park in Nyanya, a suburb of Abuja. Eighty-eight people were counted dead with over 200 others wounded. Elections were by the corner and campaign was in full swing. President Jones had an obligation as the official candidate of his party to welcome a renegade back to his party in the grand city of Kano and he went there as a loyal party leader and candidate. Not only did he welcome the returnee, he had occasion to test one of his many newly acquired shoes dancing Azonto at the rally organized for him. Only those born without shoes and living without them envied him. It was one of the many sins for which President Jones was brought down.
Thank heavens that till today President Jones enjoys his battle with selective amnesia a disease for which other people spend valuable time consulting shrinks.
Sai Baba, the new sheriff in town is no difference, but shhh; do not say I told you so or you might be tagged a wailer. Anyway, Sai Baba’s style is different. After several heckling, he has made trips to Haramistan, including one in which he was attired in an ill-fitting battle gear.  Generally he has left the battle against Boko Haram for those he commissioned to fight it. His retrofitted ears do not listen to the din of market place gossips in which some of his war generals are accused of questionably engaging in dollar-draining businesses that yield houses in Dubai. It is easier to get the River Niger to flow through Maiduguri than to get Sai Baba to distrust his aides. This is good for now, until someone else takes the saddle and regales us with proof that the tales by moonlights have substance to them after all.
So, when last Saturday, a twin blast occurred in Haramistan, Sai Baba must have thrust the news to the bad part of his retrofitted ear. This was because there was no press statement consoling the war-weary citizens of Haramistan who still live in morbid fear of the days of the locust. It is simple, issuing such statements tantamount to giving credence to Imam Shekau, a man our gallant officers have killed several times in the battlefield. Come Sunday, Houthi rebels; yes, Houthi rebels reportedly targeted the city of Makkah with their bombs and Sai Baba was faster than a bullet in making that commiseration phone call to the house of Saud.
If you ask Ibikunle Amosun who vicariously benefitted from a rare privilege granted Sai Baba in Makkah early this year, you will understand that Sai Baba enjoys a special privilege with the Saudis. This may account for why, nobody has asked the Saudis to account for our citizens killed when their scaffolds collapsed a year or so ago, killing several pilgrims. Only Iran bothers about such shenanigans and the Shia are not the best friends of soldiers or civilians at least north of the Niger. With such camaraderie existing between us and the Saudis, it would be safe to say that whatever attempts to harm the Saudis virulently hits our jugular. For, not even the ruler of Malaysia was granted the rare access granted to Sai Baba and his entourage during that visit.
On the economic side of the scale, if it were left to Sai Baba, to build a nation without religion or to raise religious citizens without structures, we all know where Sai Baba’s regime would lean. In case you pretend not to know, the exchange rate for pilgrims is less than half the exchange rate for raw materials needed to create jobs. Since we’re all heaven bound, we won’t need jobs there.
It’s all question of priorities; Naija people feed fat on their faith because the government they see is impotent to their needs. On the scale of importance presently, this is how we rate – religion first, for majority of men; well bed matters and lastly American elections. Remember the published introduction to Reuben Apati’s Arse Hole Years and Femi Adesina’s rambled review?
On American presidential elections, some see Uncle Sam as the great Satan and the non-candidates among the major contenders as divine punishment for that label. But inwardly even these ones have stake. They can’t wait to see Donald Dumb win so that they can have their day lapidating Rahama Sadau for shaking hands with men and accepting an American invite. Dumb would never accept a Muslim in his America, even one fleeing the stones of murderous puritanists who rejected a multi-million dollar film school deal and the jobs it offers but shares in the VAT raised from beer vats.