Touching Shekau’s feet
Little towns sometimes teach lifelong lessons, because in little towns, nothing is hidden. There was this middle-aged man in my hometown. His physical strength enabled him to work from sunup till sundown. It looks like what he lacked in sense and virility was compensated for in raw strength. He was the toast of young ladies […]
Little towns sometimes teach lifelong lessons, because in little towns, nothing is hidden. There was this middle-aged man in my hometown. His physical strength enabled him to work from sunup till sundown. It looks like what he lacked in sense and virility was compensated for in raw strength. He was the toast of young ladies conscious of the fact that he was no threat to them.
With time, he became a regular at my Dad’s cottage. Dad would taunt him on his relationships, so when he eventually pitched tent with this particular girl and was reported to be showering her with his farm produce more like Indimi showered Zahra Buhari, Dad took interest in all the titbits of the jaded courtship. Our suitor would respond that he was bidding his time.
On a faithful evening, he sauntered into the cottage full of enthusiasm. So, Dad asked why he was so pumped and grinning from molar to premolar. He announced with gusto that he has taken his courtship to higher grounds. Feigning excitement Dad wanted to know how big the ministry has moved with apology to Gordons the comedian. By description, our suitor appeared to have moved from a mere headquarters to the Redemption Camp. Prodding more, he announced how being left alone with his belle the previous night, he had touched her feet. Feigning disappointment Dad told the suitor that in the array of a lady’s part, the feet was not the best part to touch. He went ahead to lecture our friend on memorable parts to touch and what to do with them.
Our gallant soldiers continue to make supreme sacrifices in the fight against the terror of Boko Haram. Before taking residence at Camp Buhari, Sai Baba promised to end the terror in three months. Well, things didn’t look so easy after the oath of office although he has made all the right moves leading to the decimation of Shekau’s army of terror. Today, the president swears by the suffering grass of Sambisa that not an inch of Haramistan is in the hands of the marauders.
We have made giant strides enabling Sai Baba to declare a technical end to the war. But the peace is far from being won. We still have the famous and symbolic Chibok girls in the 1000th day of their captivity. There are an estimated 1.8 million internally displaced persons to be fed first and hoping to pick up the pieces of their lives again. There would be missing persons to reunite with families. There are children of school age hoping to catch up with education and lost opportunity.
By and large our country is safer now than it was in the era of the locusts, all these strides in spite of the acts of unconscionable grasscutters cashing in on our national misfortune in addition to some war commanders bloating fattening and farting on it. The Naija soldier has won back his battered image, not by beating up bloody civilians outside Mammy Market but by gallantly confronting kamikaze insurgents with scant regards to his own life or the future of his family. The National Cemetery is littered with the bones of his gallantry and social media profile pictures celebrate his heroism.
As the nation moves towards another Armed Forces Remembrance Day, all citizens stand in salute to our gallant soldiers and their worthy commanders. We thank you for restoring hope in our unity and the indivisibility of our vision for a united nation.
What baffles however, is the ridiculous extent to which the war room goes to seek cheap and unwarranted publicity. A few weeks ago, Mr President was presented with a fake flag and Quran allegedly belonging to Shekau and retrieved from Sambisa. Social media exposed this farce and the nation deserves an explanation for this lemon. How could our president be so cheaply taken for granted with such fakery? Who organised it? Have they been punished for pissing so pedantically on the graves of gallantry? They should be. National pride demands it.
The reasons for saying so are obvious. Last week, the army again announced it has recovered the camouflage of Shekau’s security guards. Shekau himself remains at large responding to military moves with video blogs giving the impression that at best; our army is a voyeur on his feet. What is so worthy of celebrating in the retrieval of paraphernalia when the enemy of state defies capture, wreaking havoc on civilians and targeting military formations with staccato rapidity? Why celebrate mementos when the real Trophy is out there evading capture?
The glorification of mementos play into the hands of the master insurgent, it plays into the narrative of the brainless doubters out there who believe that Boko Haram is a northern plot to recapture power and that it would peter out with a ‘northern’ presidency. Someone please tell the army war room to keep mementos in the museum of combat and ring the bells when they have Shekau or any of his infamous henchmen.