‘True love that once was lost …’ (II)

Yes he did,’ Asabe replied, cheekily. ‘How did it happen, I mean what was it like talking to him face-to- face after all these years?’ I asked. ‘It was an odd encounter really. The kids and I were watching TV, as we usually do before Magrib. Suddenly I heard the gate opening. I didn’t give […]

Yes he did,’ Asabe replied, cheekily.

‘How did it happen, I mean what was it like talking to him face-to- face after all these years?’ I asked.

‘It was an odd encounter really. The kids and I were watching TV, as we usually do before Magrib. Suddenly I heard the gate opening. I didn’t give it much thought, thinking it might have been anyone from my family home. I was so relaxed that I didn’t even have any veil around me. Suddenly the front door opened and Mansur confidently stepped in. I was so shocked at the sight of him coming through that door, after three good years that I was totally immobilised at first. I couldn’t say a word, while I looked on like someone seeing a ghost. Then the children screamed ‘Baba’ at the same time and rushed to hug him and that broke the spell of that shocking moment. He sat down at that chair distantly opposite from my favourite seat. Then he lifted his head and greeted me. I answered, uncomfortably aware that the children were watching my every move.

‘How have you been?’ he added.

‘Alhamdulillah, everything is fine.’ I replied, suddenly reminding myself that I had no reason to be nervous, that he was the guilty party who also had no business being among us. With that silent resolve, I lifted my head up defiantly and looked straight at him. But at that point he shifted his attention to the children and said ‘Has everyone done his homework?’

‘Yes’ they echoed.

‘Ok, one of you should get me some water to drink.’ He requested. They all rose to go but I took over and instructed.

‘You two should sit down. Halima get your father something to drink from the fridge.’ I ordered the eldest of the three. And it felt so odd coming out the way it did because it’s been long since I’d said words like that. In fact the last time I instructed a child to serve him, Halima was too young to be the ideal choice, it was one of her three seniors now in university and boarding schools that had done it. But he quickly intervened and said: ‘I’ll be fine with the water, no need to bring any other thing.’ Mansur protested.

‘Ok Halima, you’ve heard him. Just bring water and glass on a tray.’ I said. Before she returned he kept looking around him as if trying to assess how good or badly the place looks. At that point I felt so glad I had given the house a new coat of paint. You yourselves have seen how everything looked newer than he left it. While he was still playing with the boys Halima returned with her tray and served him. He took a sip and asked whether it will be possible for us to speak alone. I told him to give me a few minutes, then I rose to walk out of the sitting room. I asked the children to follow me and we all went to my room. I put on the TV there and told them their father and I needed to discuss in private. I then lifted my large flowing hijab and put it on. Sitting there with him in the sitting room, without even a veil made me feel rather unarmed. Now I walked back with confidence and sat on my favourite chair.

‘Yes?’ I asked, again looking at him defiantly.

‘I heard the answer you gave your friends when they came to make a case for our reconciliation. And you have every right to feel that way. I mean nothing can excuse what I did. In fact even I can only see it in terms of an event predestined, otherwise I can’t say why I ever did what I did. However we are not talking about our opinions now we are talking about what the scholars say.  The scholars say a divorce pronounced thrice at a go is equal to one because it has no place in Islamic jurisprudence.’ He explained.

‘Are they not the same scholars who said to you I was behind all your bad luck and that unless you divorce me things wouldn’t go right with you? So how do you expect me to believe their religious ruling when they are so spiritually shallow as to ascribe your turn of fortunes to a human being? To me, of all people? Acting on that you took the decision to divorce me and make it irrevocable so that nothing could tie you back to your bad luck. Isn’t it? Now suddenly they’ve got a new revelation that says three- is -one or is it that I am now your goodluck?’ I demanded.

‘Please they are not the same scholars. These are jurists I contacted because I needed to know if there was any more chance for us. I wanted to know if there was a way we could be together again as a family; the way we used to be. And they told me yes, they told me that the three- at- a -go divorce has no place in Islam, it is an innovation which they hope to do away with through enlightenment. With that I saw a chance for us Asabe. Please swallow your pride and forget the past. I know what I did was unforgivable but to err is human as they say; it is to forgive that is divine. And think less of yourself and more of these poor children, they do not deserve to be the product of a broken home.’ He pleaded.

‘No they don’t but that was what you made them the day you walked out on us at the behest of your scholars.’ I replied, quite beside myself with rage. ‘Do you think I don’t know what it feels like to be part of a broken home? Dear Mansur for over a year after you’d left I had to contend with sleepless children crying and asking what went wrong and why you had to go. I had to learn to be the only one by their sick bed and at their school functions no matter what they wanted. And now just when we have all settled to a life without you, you decided to return, again at the suggestion of other scholars. The best thing is for you to go and marry someone else.  You have tried it before and just because that one didn’t work does not mean the next one will not. Try it you may find better luck next time.’ I suggested.

‘I have tried it like you said and I’m really not keen to do so again, I just want you back.’ He stated bluntly. At the strength of emotion in his voice as he said that, I had to look down at my hands. I had never seen him so desperate and humble. But I had to make the point, so while avoiding his gaze I said.

‘In trying to overturn the irrevocable divorce some misguided scholars have suggested animal sacrifices a number of times, but the only authentic antidote is where the Holy Qur’an says a wife must marry someone else and after a divorce, not orchestrated, but spontaneous, then she can return to her ex-husband. This new one the scholars have told you is not known to me. But I am not falling for it either.’ I stated.

‘You mean you’d rather marry someone else and then ..’ he allowed his voice to trail off.

‘I will ask for a divorce and return to you?’ I concluded for him. ‘No I will never do such a thing. In any case I have no wish to marry anyone, but if I do it will be the real thing. I will never do it just to pave a way for our reunion. It wouldn’t work.’ I argued.

‘Ok’, he said rising to his feet, ‘let me say farewell to my children’. I got up and called them to say goodbye to him. Then I closed my room door behind me and refused to come out. A few minutes later they came back and showed me the pocket money Baba had given them. Apparently all’s well that ended well.