Understanding and dealing with bullying in our schools
By Shamsudeen Ayeni Let me begin this piece by stating that I did my one-year National Youth Service Corps programme as a Mathematics teacher at a full boarding secondary school in Minna, Niger State. I also gathered more than ten years of teaching experience at day schools in Ogun State before I moved to […]
By Shamsudeen Ayeni
Let me begin this piece by stating that I did my one-year National Youth Service Corps programme as a Mathematics teacher at a full boarding secondary school in Minna, Niger State. I also gathered more than ten years of teaching experience at day schools in Ogun State before I moved to the United States. Therefore, I can comment on the factors, effects, consequences, and solutions to bullying, an old long social misdemeanor in our school system. I describe bullying as an old tradition because it did not start at Dowen College and late Sylvester Oromoni would not be its first victim. The wrong diagnosis of bullying as only a unique problem to boarding schools as revealed in the commentaries of most people on social media platforms is something that needs to be corrected. Based on my teaching experiences in these two closely related school systems, bullying is neither more in boarding school than day school nor unique to boarding school. There is no single criminal activity in a boarding school that cannot be found in a day school.
The economic realities in Nigeria no longer give many parents and guardians the luxury of time to be available for their children every blessed day. The demands and nature of some jobs coupled with the erratic traffic gridlock in a place like Lagos make boarding schools the right place for some parents to send their children to. This makes more absolute sense to me than keeping the children in day schools where we have no time to monitor their daily activities because of our busy schedules. Busy or absentee parents who have children in day schools and have literally and technically surrendered their parental responsibilities to housemaids cannot question the intent of their busy colleagues who have embraced the option of a boarding schooling system. This is because their children may be suffering from bullying both at home from their housemaids and in their day schools unknown to them.
Furthermore, a lot of these big private schools are understaffed despite collecting huge sums of tuition and other ancillary bills from their parents. Teachers have been reduced to only toothless bulldogs in front of their students and pupils. In most private schools, discipline has become so centralised that only one person, usually the school principal, is allowed to discipline or caution any erring student. This “anointed canemaster” must also exercise this rare privilege of disciplining his student with care otherwise he may be beaten up too by the parents of this child. Also worthy of note is that some parents through their disgraceful conduct, nonchalance, and “WOKEism” (a sign of being civilised and exposed) nurture a significant number of bullies as children even right from their homes before they join the boarding schools. These children start their bullying practices with their teenage housemaids, siblings, cousins, friends, and neighbours at home without being cautioned or punished. These are the practical reasons responsible for the culture of bullying in our schools and not just in boarding schools.
I have also noticed that most of the commentaries on bullying only touched on the physical aspect of bullying. What about the non-physical or verbal form of bullying among these students? Shaming, blaming, mockery, and stereotyping on the grounds of one’s name, height, body size, and physical appearance offer more pain than the physical aspect of bullying. Some unprofessional teachers are equally guilty of this non-physical bullying. Some teachers use derogatory words to describe their students which other students pick up and use. For those sufferers of this verbal bullying who could not report to anyone, these negative words affect their mental health, causing them to start keeping social distance from people and developing low self-esteem. The challenge of bullying, physical or non-verbal, is that the reactions of the victims towards bullying cannot be predicted, and they may vary from mild to extreme (e.g., suicidal thoughts).
One problem in this nation is our failure to hold accountable our service providers, whom we pay much for their services for the poor, negligent and unimpressive services they often offer to their clients and customers alike. Where a social contract exists between parents and school owners to the effect of providing a serene and friendly environment for a peaceful cohabitation and learning process, both parties must honour and take full responsibility for their obligations and rights as contained in this social contract. If all parties had diligently played their roles as outlined in the contract, late Sylvester Oromoni would not have died from bullying in a school where his parents pay so much.
There are three solutions I want to offer to minimise the problem of bullying in our school system based on my experience of working in these two closely related school systems. First, Nigerians need to reevaluate this belief that all the misfortunes that befall them are the wishes of God. Negligence and unethical conduct should not be seen as wishes of God. We must seek justice through legal means when we suffer a loss because of other people’s negligence, carelessness, and unethical conduct. Thus, instead of constantly blaming the system, we must use the system that allows these injustices to correct them by itself.
Second, since each state government runs a uniform academic calendar for the private and public schools, we can make OPEN DAY in our schools a public holiday for all the working-class parents. This would allow parents to go to their children’s schools and acquaint themselves with the academic activities of their children and meet with their friends. For those with children in boarding schools, this can allow the parents to spend more quality and meaningful time with their wards. Such long-day interactions among the students, parents, and teachers may help reveal some of these problems at their early stages and the culprits identified.
Third, the relationship between parents and teachers needs to be improved upon. Parents must learn to respect the teachers of their children if they truly want these teachers to offer their children more than the delivery of lesson notes/plans in class. A teacher we disrespect and beat in the presence of our children cannot be expected to look after such children’s excesses. Any injury to one teacher in a school caused by a parent is an injury to all the teachers.
In conclusion, most boarding school students have school guardians chosen among the teachers. Therefore, I urge school managers to strengthen their guardianship system by making sure they employ responsible adults as teachers who can serve as guardians and not cheaters, or extortionists because some of these teachers eat the ‘provisions’ of their students and even spend their monies.
May the soul of Sylvester Oromoni continue to rest in peace!
Ayeni sent this from North Carolina, United States.