Unguarded utterances

On the day that Goshin Bauna was opening his campaign office at Marmaro town, headquarters of Marmaro Local Government, our Youth Wing Leader Maitawaye planned to disrupt it. They had brought a big Mr. Biggs van to the rally. It was loaded with water and packaged food, which they wanted to share out during the […]

On the day that Goshin Bauna was opening his campaign office at Marmaro town, headquarters of Marmaro Local Government, our Youth Wing Leader Maitawaye planned to disrupt it. They had brought a big Mr. Biggs van to the rally. It was loaded with water and packaged food, which they wanted to share out during the rally. Maitawaye recruited 20 strong boys who surrounded the van even before the occasion started. They demanded to eat the food, saying they were very hungry. When the van’s chief caterer opened the window to plead with them, they seized him by the collar, dragged him out, then climbed inside the van and looted the food.
When the opening ceremony of the office started, Goshin Bauna showed his anger at what happened. He said, “Don’t mind those hungry boys that came and stole the food that we brought for you. They are hungry and they will remain hungry forever! We know that they were sent. We know the person who sent them. That person hates you people. When he was living in Abuja, you did not dare to go to his house. He was eating alone with his wives and children, alone! When they sacked him from his job, he had to run away from Abuja because they were looking for him to account for some missing money. So he came here and said he wants to become the governor because if you are the governor, you have immunity, they cannot make you to account for the missing money.” Maikaho’s scout was there at the ceremony, pretending to be a reporter for Tafki Digest magazine. He recorded everything and that evening we listened to the tape.
Three days later we went to Rafi Local Government to open our campaign office. Our campaign leader in Rafi, Kallamu Hadarin Iska, is a very sharp tongued man who was once an Adult Education Mobiliser before he entered politics. He listened to the tape of Goshin Bauna’s speech at Marmaro and he said we should not worry, that we will get even. Maitawaye took concrete steps to protect the occasion. Before the occasion even commenced Maitawaye fished out several boys that had been sent by Goshin Bauna’s men to infiltrate our ceremony. They were beaten them up and then thrown them out of the place.
When Hadarin Iska climbed the podium, he took direct aim at Goshin Bauna who is the state Commissioner of Works. He said, “We have discovered that the man who is supposed to build and maintain our roads in Tafki State is the one who deliberately creates potholes on our roads so that he will steal more money! He has his boys who go out late at night, use digger and create new potholes in the road. All in order to steal money! Will you vote for such a man?”
After Hadari finished, our Women’s Wing leader Hajiya Dela Yar’guguwa took the podium. She immediately broke into a dance and a song, asking the audience if they will vote for a man who has a forehead like a buffalo. There was a roar of “No!” She asked if anyone will vote for a man who has a tummy like an overturned grain silo. There was a shout of “No!” She then asked if anyone will vote for a man whose face looks as if cosmetic has been applied to the cheeks of a hedgehog. She said many of the bastard children seen on Tafki streets were born by madwomen who live in the markets because someone with legs like a shackled mosquito “visits” them in the dead of night.
That evening when I returned home, I received three different notes, one from the Police Commissioner, one from the state party chairman and one from the Governor. All of them said Goshin Bauna had reported me, that we abused him during our ceremony. I planned to go to each of them the following day to explain what happened but before I did so, Tsinin Kusa rushed in early morning and asked if I listened to the political program Wasu kaya sai Amale on Tafki State radio. I said I did not. He said Goshin Bauna’s campaign chairman Dankulli Gajere was on the program and he said I was the one who organised the cattle rustlers that recently stole 200 cows in the Governor’s Local Government, Mun Tsira, in order to give the governor a bad name. I asked, “Did he mention my name?” Tsinin Kusa said, “No, he did not mention your name but he said it is one aspirant with a beard that resembles the brush used in making waina.”
That very day, we got even. Maikahon Karo went to the privately owned Kundunbala FM station and said a man who always wears dark goggles like a roadside welder [meaning the Governor] was the one who sponsored cattle rustlers in his own Local Government so that he will use it as a ploy to corner some money in the name of security.
That evening, I was told that the Emir was inviting us to a meeting in his palace. When I got there, I found Goshin Bauna, party chairman Sallama Maikudi, the deputy governor, speaker, majority leader and two senators. The Emir took us inside the palace to one small room, surrounded by neatly inscribed Qur’anic verses on canvas, leather and wooden slates. He said he is not happy that even though the election is still far away, we were heating up the state with our unguarded utterances. That he received reports of fighting taking place in houses, markets, schools and between achaba riders as people bandied about the unguarded utterances that we made during our respective rallies. The Emir said he will not sit idly by and watch us destroy the peace of the state with our unbridled search for power. He pointed at one neatly inscribed wooden slate hung on the wall and said, “From today, if anyone speaks like that, I will invoke Ya’sin so that his mouth will close forever.”