Using our kids for unhealthy competition

September is around the corner and parents all know what that signifies; resumption of schools. This week’s topic, however, isn’t about school resumption but the attitude of some parents who see the beginning of every school session as a competition; competition in the sense that they want their children to be seen or known to […]

September is around the corner and parents all know what that signifies; resumption of schools. This week’s topic, however, isn’t about school resumption but the attitude of some parents who see the beginning of every school session as a competition; competition in the sense that they want their children to be seen or known to attend the most expensive schools.

Most annoying is the fact that they go to the extent of pushing their children to skip classes and resume in classes higher.

How do you explain a 10-year-old resuming in a new school as an SSS1 student? The fact that she was in JSS2 last year was an issue and now she’s skipped JSS3 to senior secondary school. Her mother’s excuse is equally ridiculous, “She is brilliant and up to the task. By age 14, she will be done with secondary school and off to the university abroad. At age 20, she will be done with her masters.” What a ludicrous excuse as a parent!

Bilikisu Ibrahim, 43-year-old educationist, says, “It’s crazy what parents do these days to ensure their children are enrolled in a class higher than what the child’s thinking capabilities can withhold. Rivalry with other parents is playing a huge role in this. It started gradually from buying the best school shoes, bags, writing materials, celebrating the best birthdays in school and so on, but now it has been taken to a whole new level. Some mothers now make it a point of duty to change cars used to drop off and pick the children from school every new session all because they believe they can’t be seen to be using the same car for over a year to pick their children from school. Parents need to grow up, sit up and focus on the good of their children.”

Kafayat Ismail, 39-year-old entrepreneur, says, “A child that should be in Primary 5 this new session is forced to write a secondary school entrance exam and go to JSS 1 all because you want to boast to all and sundry that your child is now in secondary school, but at what age? Do these parents realize what trauma they are putting these kids into? Do they understand that the child will face the consequence of meeting up with his peers? Do they realize that sometimes this is the reason some children commit suicide if they can’t cope in the university, and they don’t have the courage to tell their parent? I hope parents realize this early and allow children grow at their own pace; everything in life is not about competition. This advice is especially for mothers because they are mostly the advocates of class skipping.”

Hasiya Bello, 40-year-old consultant, says, “Every child has a particular class he/she can assimilate academically depending on his/her age. Making that child jump from one or most times two classes to a higher class because you want him to finish school on time will make that child hang. Allow the child to go through the class appropriate for his age so that he can be well grounded on the knowledge he needs at that age and for that stage. It’s sad that most private schools these days encourage such as long as the parents can afford the fees, which most times aren’t ‘chicken change’.”

The problem with most parents is unhealthy competition. We want to intimidate other parents by showing that our wards are doing better than theirs. We fail to remember that there’s no competition in destiny. That a child left school early doesn’t mean he/she will be ahead of her equals in life and vice versa. Destiny for everyone is different and as parents we need to think through decisions we take concerning our children. What will be will be; so rushing them through school may turn out good or bad.

The society we live in today is immersed in unhealthy and unnecessary competition; our children need to gain social, emotional maturity. Life is one step at a time. This is a clarion call, especially to mothers.