Using your ego in a positive way

Many times, we come across people, books and articles that say ego is destructive in any kind of relationship. Irrespective of our having the knowledge about it, ego-tripping silently creeps into life and relationships. However, when it makes an entry into a relationship with your life partner, then the consequences are scary. Most problems in […]

Many times, we come across people, books and articles that say ego is destructive in any kind of relationship. Irrespective of our having the knowledge about it, ego-tripping silently creeps into life and relationships. However, when it makes an entry into a relationship with your life partner, then the consequences are scary. Most problems in any relationship start off with ego. Ego is an enemy in any relationship, and once it sets in, it is very difficult to eradicate or do away with it.

Though it is not really easy to understand what your ego and true self is, one thing you need to understand is that your ego is not the real you. There are various questions that have continued to prop up: is it bad or good? Does it bring people towards you or them to run away from you? Does it command respect or disrespect from people? Does it wreck or bond a relationship?

There are several other questions that can keep coming up about ego, but then, the bottom line is that ego is a firecracker which could turn to something else if you are reckless about it. Our ego is our greatest problem in life; it could be inspiring and also full of deceit. It gives you small boots of gratification when you succeed that helps you to keep going.

However, it is also one of the biggest hindrances you’ll face in life. Ego has both its positive and negative sides. If you’re not patient or careful, the negative side could cause great pain in your life. Most people do not realise that negative ego can sabotage our ability to manifest success in our lives. Most of our self-sabotaging and destructive behaviours are driven by the negative aspects of our ego.

A healthy ego is where good and positive self-esteem begins; a healthy ego does not react negatively, defend, justify, rationalise, fight, manipulate or hide from challenges because it is convinced that whatever happens will not change who one is or stand for. Having a negative ego could cause us to react in defensive ways, feel unloved and unappreciated, neglect our needs, be anxious, suspicious and jealous, feel dissatisfied and empty, make us feel that we have to be different and better than every other person and thereby make us to see negativity in all aspects of our lives.

When you depend and believe so much in your negative ego you, will only end up living your life in a reactive mode, which is common among most people today. You’ll find out that people are naturally moody and reactive no matter what happens to them. When we learn to tame our ego and if possible dump the negative one, we will see massive gains and progress in every aspect of our lives.

To separate yourself from your ego means you’re separating yourself from comparisons with others that you are in a relationship with. Though separating yourself could be difficult as we find ourselves surrounded by a society that values comparisons, the more we attach ourselves to our negative ego and thought, the further we move from the truth in our lives.

Our ego is based on emotions and not on logic hence the reason why it is hard to control, but over time, it’ll become easy to let go when you learn to ignore or tame your ego when it tries to hold you back in life. You are human and as such may still struggle with your ego at times to have a peaceful and happy relationship with those around you.

Taming your ego is really about raising one’s self-esteem; to tame the ego is to quit negative talk and pursue peace of mind in a bid to engage in a meaningful and loving relationship with others. It is only when our ego is healthy that we can give true love and support to others. Someone with an unhealthy ego will only find love and support foreign and beyond their reach. So are you ready to tame your ego and make it work positively for you?

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