Welcome PMB, goodbye theorists

President Muhammadu Buhari’s return home after 49 days on medical vacation has thrown the spanner in the works of conspiracy theorists on both sides of the political divide. While APC partisans are beating their chest and backslapping one another in felicitations, the opposition which is usually in disarray but manages to be coherent when de-marketing […]

President Muhammadu Buhari’s return home after 49 days on medical vacation has thrown the spanner in the works of conspiracy theorists on both sides of the political divide. While APC partisans are beating their chest and backslapping one another in felicitations, the opposition which is usually in disarray but manages to be coherent when de-marketing the president – was simply reduced to stuttering.

The thriving industry of conspiracy theories, rumours, photoshopping and montage-ing experts with speciality in grafting the heads of political leaders onto bodies harvested from other websites with the sole aim of denigrating their chosen victim or spreading falsehoods – that industry is now on the back foot. See what change can be wrought by one man simply showing up!

Now we can all rest, or look for some new diversions to exercise our jaws. But, truth be told, the last 49 days have shown how disillusioned some Nigerians have become. Those who thought they had lost out in the current political dispensation could not have enough of fake news about Buhari. And they spread it gleefully. On the other hand, those who thought they had everything to lose if anything happened to the president erected their own rostrum to wish the president well or arrange well-publicised prayer sessions. 

The prayer industry which achieved its golden age in the run-up to the last presidential elections when President Jonathan regularly knelt before every conceivable altar in his quest for favour from Above, was re-energised. It is not for nothing that Nigeria’s major export aside oil, consists of pastors, marabouts and prayer warriors. (We grudgingly concede sorcery, wizardry and makutu-style voodooism to the Southern Africans.) But​ I digress.

What was all the noise about? Yes, Nigerians deserve to know about the state of health of their president. Yes, they ought to be concerned about who was running the shop. Yes, the president could have spoken to the nation before travelling. Yes, the whole thing could have been managed differently.

But all the hoopla and ill-will was unnecessary considering the fact that the president had duly handed over the responsibility of state to his deputy before travelling. Those who tried to compare what was happening to the Yar’Adua era conveniently forgot that Yar’Adua didn’t hand over to his deputy as required by law. In the Buhari case, there was no such lacuna. 

I wasn’t surprised that within the period, the social media was awash with all sorts of stories meant to cause disaffection between Buhari and Acting President Osinbajo on the one hand, and the governing party, APC, and the government on the other. Without doubt there is a massive, well-funded campaign to bash the head of this government in. Fingers are being pointed in the direction of treasury looters who have commissioned an extensive network of cyber-warriors to denigrate the anti-corruption war of the government and portray its activities negatively. 

Some people in government, in reacting to some of the irritating rumours, overreached themselves.  Mr. Babachir Lawal, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, succumbed to verbal diarrhoea. Speaking at the Prayer Convocation on Mount Zion, Jerusalem, under the theme, “Building A Covenant Nation”, Lawal was copiously quoted as accusing Christians of praying against the return of the President.

“Churches have gone into overdrive praying for a Christian president to take over, glad that the President never returns so that our vice president and acting President continues because, according to them, the economy is doing better under him….” 

Really? Do we call that friendly fire or enemy action?

In trying to react to the admittedly nauseating extent some of the government critics went, Lawal himself descended into the gutter. Next time, he needs to allow professional communicators be his mouthpiece. You don’t quench fire with petrol. The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions.

Welcome back, Buhari. Nigerians are pleased that there is a good working relationship between you and your deputy whom you addressed as follows as the federal cabinet gathered to receive you: “We are one and a team. While you continue to use your energy and wisdom, I will continue to use my age and military experience…”

Mr. President, just when I was beginning to enjoy the inventiveness of conspiracy theorists and leeches on both sides of the divide, you simply showed up and brought the festival of rumours to a sudden end. Be well!

Thanks, Abike!

Hon. Abike Dabiri’s warning to Nigerians who don’t have crucial business in America to stay away from that country until the cobwebs surrounding Trump’s ill-thought-out immigration policy are cleared, has my full support. Foreign Minister Geoffrey Onyeama suddenly found his voice in defence of America after Dabiri had issued her statement. (Onyeama, by the way, is one of my favourite ministers for he had made a great first impression on me as a co-passenger on an Abuja-bound Arik flight.) So, I was quite disappointed hearing him sounding like America’s spokesman. 

Stories of maltreatment of Nigerians by US immigration are many on social media if the minister cares to monitor them. If there were issues regarding perspectives, style and protocol between both government operatives, such matters could be ironed out officially, away from the media. Diplomatic roulette aside, Abike Dabiri was right to look America in the face and say it like it ought to be said. Thank you, Abike!