Welcome to Nigeria III: How little Musa conned me

You remember Ethiopia Airlines lost my luggage while travelling from Kuala Lumpur to Abuja? An incident that caused me to lump my last belief about budget airlines: their economy is a mask for inefficiency, like all things cheap.  And from this revelation follows the fact that they have less sense than I have.   It took […]

You remember Ethiopia Airlines lost my luggage while travelling from Kuala Lumpur to Abuja? An incident that caused me to lump my last belief about budget airlines: their economy is a mask for inefficiency, like all things cheap.  And from this revelation follows the fact that they have less sense than I have.  
It took the airline a month – to the day – to recover my luggage.  I arrived Nigeria on the 26 November but received a call that my luggage was found on Boxing Day.
This reminder, I hope, gives you a glimpse of my state of mind when I met little Musa at the airport.  I’ve just found my box and with it, my credentials, so, my mental state at that time was that of extreme happiness and gratitude to God.  I was beaming from cheek to cheek and was desirous of spreading happiness to others.  I was at ease with the world; blooming heck, I might have been humming a tune when the nine year-old lanky fellow approached me to buy his groundnuts!
Yet, in spite of my happiness, I told my friend I wasn’t buying.  One, at that moment, I wasn’t in the market for groundnuts.  Two, I wasn’t hungry; I’m never hungry when I’m happy.  Three, Musa, his tray and his products were dirty and dusty; I don’t buy food from dirty people.  Finally, even if I was interested in peanuts, I don’t buy the kind (unshelled ones) he sold.
“Then, I’m giving you this,” Musa extended his hand to give me a bag of his groundnut.  I was impressed by the gesture but refused to accept the gift.  But Musa would hear none of that.
  “No.  You must accept, I want to dash you,”  he said.
Thinking I was a Christian, he said, “I’m giving you as a Christmas gift.”  I relented and accepted.  Now that a favour had been done to me by someone below me in age, rank and means, my humanity urged me to pay back the favour.  Thus, I gave him some money – N50, I think.  After this exchange of gifts we became friends and started a conversation.
 “Why are you not in school?” I asked.  They were on break, he said, “Christmas break.” His English was good, masha Allah. I discovered that his name was Musa Muhammad.  “Are you a Muslim?” I asked.  “Yes,” he said.  Then he must change his intention, I told him; because I don’t celebrate Christmas.  He said his intention had changed: he didn’t give me a Christmas gift, it was just a gift.
We talked some more.  “Where do I buy a recharge card?” Musa offered to buy one for me.  I gave him the money; he returned with the recharge card, gave me and then he left.
While still waiting for my friend at the same spot, a younger version of Musa accosted me.  This one was about seven years-old.  Buy my groundnut he said.  I gave the same answer I gave to his – apparently – elder brother.  Then he offered to “dash” me the groundnut.  I refused to accept.  He insisted.
Then I realized Musa didn’t give me the gift due to the goodness of his heart.  This act of giving was a deliberate confidence technique perfected by the boys into a science to collect money from people.
Musa’s method is called the principle of reciprocity in psychology.  This was made popular by Robert Cialdini, the author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.  Cialdini says:
“One of the first things we learn as citizens our culture is that of the principle of reciprocity.  The one that says: I’m obligated to give that to you, in the form of behavior, that which you gave to me.  If you invite me to a party, I should invite you to one of mine.  If you come to my birthday with a gift, I should come to yours with a gift.  And if you do me a favour, I owe you a favour.  And what I learned [is that] people say yes to those they owe.  They just say yes to those they owe.  Every member of every human culture has been trained to play by this rule.  You must not take without giving in return.”
However, long before Robert Cialdini, Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) encouraged reciprocity.  In my column, Benjamin Franklin Effect: The simplest way to choose our leaders, I wrote:
Actually, in one of his sayings, Prophet Muhammad used the word ‘exchange’ gifts: In the book Al-Adabul mufrad or Book of Morals a sound hadith reported Muhammad saying: “Exchange gifts, as that will let you attain love of one another.”  (Bukhari no: 594.)
Aisha narrated “Allah’s Apostles used to accept gifts and used to give something in return.” (Bukhari Volume 3, Book 47, Number 758.)
He also said “Whoever does you a favour, respond in kind, and if you cannot find the means of doing so, then keep praying for him until you think that you have responded in kind.” [Book of Sunnan By Abu Daawood]
I doubt if Musa and his brother read Cialdini or the hadith of the prophet, but they do understand the principle of reciprocity. 
However, they snagged their understanding of human behavior with a dirty and nasty twist.  They’re supposed to sell not to give.  And when they give what is supposed to be sold because they expect people to give them something of more value in return, this transforms them from cute smart kids to filthy little devils.
So I watched the little rascal in front of me and my earlier admiration for his elder brother slowly turned to contempt.  I had the urge to tell him off.  Instead I said, “Musa has already given me.”  Meaning Musa had already conned me.  After wondering what had become of our society where even the little ones have embraced the laziness and wickedness of us, their fathers, I had a good laugh at myself.  A fool and his money are soon parted!