What do you do when you’re ‘the other woman’?

Here is an illustration. A man relocated to Abuja from Port Harcourt. He met a woman in Abuja and they started dating. Three months down the line, the woman found out that the man has a girlfriend/fiancée back in Port Harcourt, so should the Abuja woman who has unknowingly become the other woman contacted the […]

Here is an illustration. A man relocated to Abuja from Port Harcourt. He met a woman in Abuja and they started dating. Three months down the line, the woman found out that the man has a girlfriend/fiancée back in Port Harcourt, so should the Abuja woman who has unknowingly become the other woman contacted the fiancée and let her knew he is unfaithful?

Aidee Erhime, a teen Educator who spoke to LIFXTRA said “If I were the Abuja girl, I have no business with any other girl anywhere. My discussion would be with my man.” 

She added that: “What exactly would the Abuja girl be asking the Port Harcourt lady? If the Abuja girl is as busy as I believe she is, she’d really not have time for such frivolities as contacting the other woman. She’ll discuss with her man, do proper investigation, visibly mark her territory or leaves him if she finds out he’s lying.” 

Aidee said there really is no time to let any man waste any lady’s valuable time.

A journalist, Linda Chris, also feels that there is no point making contact. She said: “I don’t think the Abuja girl should call the girlfriend in Port Harcourt. That would be because she has no business with the girl.” Linda feels that it is the man that should be confronted because he is the one that lied but advised that to avoid complications, it’s better to walk away from the relationship.

Adedayo Victor who describes himself as an amateur writer and a literary blogger agrees with Linda on walking away to avoid complications.

“If she doesn’t want to get things complicated for herself, she should just walk away if she’s not comfortable with it.” Adedayo posed a question: “How will she introduce herself to the girl in Port Harcourt if she decides to call?”

21-year-old Mark Anthony Osuchukwu responded to LIFEXTRA with an illustration. He said: “The boyfriend is the spine. The butter trying to hold the two slices of bread together- the estranged girls, as such he should be in the position to know what he wants and how he wants it.” 

Osuchukwu explained that the two girls actually have no business with themselves because if the guy never came into their lives, they wouldn’t have known each other.

He however stated no matter who this lot falls on, the person should be intelligent enough to go to the roots of the case and not the fruit or branches.

According to him, “The guy is the root. The girls who are estranged are the fruits hence she should ask the guy what he wants.  The first girl or to make her the only one.”

An online relationship platform, Your Tango in an article “9 ways to cope when you realize you’re the other woman” stated that “realize that his wife or girlfriend doesn’t want or need to talk to you.

“You’ll tell yourself that she absolutely must talk to you to hear the whole story. News flash: You remind cheater’s wife/girlfriend of his infidelity and she does not want that rubbed in her face” in addition it also stated that she also doesn’t care about apologies from you either.

In a contrary view, another relationship platform Gurl in “8 Tips on how to deal when you find out you’re the other woman” advocates that you should talk to the other person.

“I’ve seen a lot of advice that says you shouldn’t talk to the other girl. But I don’t agree with that. Personally, if my boyfriend were cheating on me, I would want the other woman to fill me in. It won’t be easy, but wouldn’t you want someone to do that for you?”

It however stated that “don’t assume that the girlfriend will instantly forgive you or accept your apology, and you two will go on to be lifelong friends. This isn’t the movies, it’s real life.”