What makes a happy home?

The extent to which progress and prosperity is achieved in homes depends largely on the level of peace, happiness and unity existing among the members and particularly mutual understanding between husbands and the wives who are the foundation of the home. In many homes today, there is no happiness and joy due to different factors […]

The extent to which progress and prosperity is achieved in homes depends largely on the level of peace, happiness and unity existing among the members and particularly mutual understanding between husbands and the wives who are the foundation of the home.
In many homes today, there is no happiness and joy due to different factors which constitute stumbling blocks to peace and unity. However, different people have diverse views and opinions as to what really form a happy home.
Mrs. Phoebe Ezekiel said one of the most important factors to family happiness is when the husband and his wife are both faithful to each other and are God-fearing adding that this way, children are also brought up in a discipline manner.
She stressed that when a couple have mutual understanding and fear of God, they avoid things that would be inimical to family happiness especially the issue of going out with other men or women to commit adultery.
Mrs. Ezekiel who said that she had been in wedlock for over 20 years explained that happiness and joy in homes is determined to a large extent by the husband and his wife who both have a big role to play in terms of self discipline as foundation to achieving happiness, and extending the positive moral virtue to their children and other members of the home.
Chioma Emeka, a 45-year-old trader said money is the most central and important determining factor for making and sustaining a happy home without which there would be conflict and disunity among members of the home.
Chioma particularly emphasized that getting married to a poor person can never yield positive results and happiness as many demands would be left unfulfilled to the collective pains and anger of the wife and children whose happiness is important.
“As for me, the issue of living happily in our homes has to do a lot with financial resources because many things needed in our homes require money. So if there is no money, I wonder what will be the result. I can tell you that without money a good percentage of women will not live peacefully with their husbands and you should know that if there is no peace, there is no happiness, that is why a man should plan very well before going into marriage ”, she said.
According to her, money can afford all the necessities of life such as potable water, electricity, food, good houses, cars and many other things needed in homes to make the family happy.
But Mallam Yahaya Abdullahi Musa has a different opinion. He said that happiness in homes depend largely on the internal mechanism of settling disputes as he believes that every individual has his or her shortcomings.
Mallam Musa, a secondary school teacher, emphasized that the internal mechanism of managing crisis and conflicts is a strong drive that brings or restore happiness in homes as it reunites members in the home. He said without a genuine and uncompromised mechanism of conflict resolution in our homes there would be no happiness and peace.
Furthermore, Jiddah Usman, a graduate of Psychology, argued that of all the factors any one could enumerate, sexual drive is the strongest factor that brings happiness in any home. According to him, when the couple are sexually united, they are happy and the happiness is extended to the subordinate members of the home.
“We have to be straight forward in this matter. When the husband is sexually active, the wife is happy but when the husband is impotent or lazy or reluctant and does not have the feeling for his wife for a couple of days, there is no happiness and this will consequently affect the family negatively because in most cases the wife will not even want to cook”, he said.
He noted that destructive criticisms and unnecessary commands issued to women and children could also create fear, anxiety and unhappiness in homes. But politeness according to him has the potential of making people to understand their shortcomings, admitting their wrongs with apologies and bringing or restoring happiness in homes.
However, Jude Achoda, a graduate of History and International Relations argued that there are certain issues that could not be resolved within the family even with the internal mechanism of resolving disputes among members. He said issues relating to children sexes and lack of children or barrenness could derail happiness in our homes.
“There is happiness when a woman gives birth to both male and female children but when she is barren or has given birth to only female children, it becomes a problem for many people and there is no happiness in such homes because everybody no doubt needs children of both sexes”, he said.
He also believe that happiness in homes has to do with the provision of foodstuff and other related needs in the home by the husband. He stressed that there would be no happiness in our homes if the husband is rude and is failing in his responsibility of providing for the family adding that women also have an important role to play by ensuring that there is food at home as and when due without quarrel or laziness to cook.
Similarly, Mrumun, who operates a restaurant in Aso ‘B’ a suburb of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Abuja said happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterised by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy which every home needs to enjoy, submitting that good health and fear of God are central to happiness in homes.
Mrumun pointed out that when there is fear of God and good health, there is wealth and every other thing follows to make life comfortable and enjoyable in the home. She argued that every human being is meant to live happily and joyfully as far as the right moral virtues of decency, honesty, respect for the fundamental rights of others and fear of God are not compromised or nipped in the bud.
“I tell you, there is really need for happiness to prevail in our homes but achieving happiness requires respect for the rights of others and decency. It also requires honesty and self discipline by the husband, wife, children and other members of the home as the case may be”, she said.
However, Halima Salisu, a house wife and a civil servant noted that there is happiness especially when the husband and his wife are both working and carry the family burden together rather than only one of the partners carrying the whole family burden.
Halima explained that if only the husband is working and all the domestic demands are to be fulfilled by him, the burden will be too much and if he eventually abdicates certain responsibilities, it could be detrimental to the principle of happiness in the home.
With a harvest of opinions and views of different people on what constitutes a happy home, suffice to say the factors responsible for achieving a happy home are; money, good jobs, fear of God, honesty, self discipline, sexual drive, fruitfulness, politeness, providing for the family, internal mechanism of resolving crisis, good health and availability of all the necessities of life among others.