What’s wrong you dating a friend’s ex?

My close friend that we grew up together is now dating a guy I dated a few years back behind my back even though I got to find out. We have been friends right from our childhood and we have shared every single thing without keeping secrets from each other. I started suspecting she was […]

My close friend that we grew up together is now dating a guy I dated a few years back behind my back even though I got to find out. We have been friends right from our childhood and we have shared every single thing without keeping secrets from each other. I started suspecting she was up to something when she suddenly changed, she would never let me touch her phone, which she never had a problem with before.
I asked if everything was okay and she assured me it was well. One day, she was in the bathroom and forgot to take her phone with her, which she does always, I used that opportunity to go through her phone and I was shocked to see the text messages she exchanged with my ex, to make things worse, she saved his number with some random name thinking I wouldn’t figure who the person was. My heart literarily stopped beating for a moment and I was completely overwhelmed. Friendship is no doubt the greatest gift in life that a person can treasure for the rest of his or her life. One of the questions that have been debated severally by many people is, is dating your friend’s ex okay? Life extra got diverse yet interesting opinions from respondents.
Natasha Fwa, a 25-year-old graduate of the University of Maiduguri is of the view that it isn’t okay to date your friend’s ex because everything is wrong with it. According to her, the reality of dating a friend’s ex is complicated and messy since when friends date their friend’s exes, it will most likely end up in a fiery blaze of disaster. “I can’t date my friend’s ex because most of my female friends are not just friends, they are like family. Dating my friend’s ex puts me in a betrayal zone. For him to be her ex means he is of no value to me because maybe he did hurt her that was why they broke up. I always put my friendship first in everything I do.”
Pwalesado John, a civil servant in her mid-20s,thinks dating a friend’s ex destroys the friendship and in most cases leads to malice. However, she says she could still do that, but she wouldn’t advice anyone to do that: “I can date my friend’s ex but that would be if I started dating the guy first and then later met my friend and became close. Else, I wouldn’t advice anybody to date an old friend’s ex because it might turn out to be a total disaster to that person in question and could also ruin the friendship.”
Twenty-eight-year-old youth service corps member, Nafada Ahmed, says dating a friend’s ex is totally out of the question. He adds that no one in his or her right senses would even think of doing it talk more of actually engaging in a relationship with a friend’s ex: “I won’t ever dare try to do that because from my own point of view, for a person to even say he or she is in love and dating a friend’s ex is considered to be a very big crime because the friend involved will definitely take it as a betrayal and this might can lead to a serious problem between the two friends. It is very sad to see two friends tear apart because of a man and as a result some things are better left for peace to reign. Dating a friend’s ex won’t bring any good but rather complications and issues.”
Ramlatu Ahmed, a final year student, says she can’t bring herself that low as to dating her friend’s ex. She argues that it is unethical for a person to do such thing, stressing that dating a friend’s ex is undeniably disrespectful: “If my friend were to date my ex after we broke up it would mean two things. It could be that she’d obviously been harbouring feelings for him the whole time he was dating me or probably whatever it was that caused my ex and I to break up clearly doesn’t matter that much to her.”
Ahmed explains that she would deal with any of her friend’s exes that tries to make any unusual move and she would tell her friend so that they can collectively handle him by teaching him a lesson he would not forget. She says there are other men out there searching for women to date, why date your friend’s ex when you can give someone new a chance.
“I have a friend who was secretly going out with her friend’s ex and when the friend in question found out, she confided in me on what to do and I advised her not to react, she should just fold her arms and watch them. I also told her to let things be since the law karma is inevitable. After five months, the guy unfortunately dumped the girl and went for another girl. The dumped girl came seeking for forgiveness afterwards,” she added.
Joseph Tarfa, an engineer in his early 30s, sees nothing wrong with dating a friend’s ex. He says people fall in love for various reasons and one can’t control whom to fall in love with: “If I happen to fall in love with my ex’s friend, I sure will go for her and date her, possibly even get married to her. Life is too short, why would I deprive myself of someone I love and want to be with for the rest of my life? I believe people should do what makes them happy and forget about what people would say because no matter what you do, people will talk.”