What would you do in her place?
By her own admission, she had attempted suicide. And as abhorrent as it is for a person to take his/her own life, one can still understand the despair that drove Asma’u Sabuwa to contemplate such an extreme step. At the age of thirty-five she found herself not only severely burnt and facially disfigured, but also […]
By her own admission, she had attempted suicide. And as abhorrent as it is for a person to take his/her own life, one can still understand the despair that drove Asma’u Sabuwa to contemplate such an extreme step. At the age of thirty-five she found herself not only severely burnt and facially disfigured, but also a destitute hospital in-patient and a divorcee.
It wasn’t just the fact that she gave him the best 15 years of her life, or that she bore him six children or that being always at his beck and call, Asma’u actually had this accident while cooking his evening meal that made her husband’s action so reprehensible, it is that he chose to do it while she was still lying on a hospital bed fighting for her life.
According to the Weekly Trust of August 30th 2014, Asma’u was rushing to finish her husband’s dinner when a domestic accident involving her cooking stove changed her life forever. In her own words, ‘It was around 5. 15pm and the rice was boiling on the stove. As I stepped on that mango seed, I fell, hitting the pot of boiling rice. All its contents poured on my face.’ She recounted tearfully.
While Asma’u lay in her kitchen writhing in pain, because no one else was home to help her, a neighbour’s child walked in and got her rescued. Again she told Weekly Trust ‘It was after a while that a little girl who came to buy palm oil from me checked the kitchen and saw me writhing in pain on the floor. She therefore raised an alarm that attracted people into the kitchen. I was taken to my room and because we live in a village I was left in that condition till the following day without any treatment. Obviously nobody gave me any chance of survival. Maybe that was what informed the decision to keep me at home without any treatment.’
Thus began Asma’us tragic ordeal. She remained at home with horrible burns on her face, neck and other parts of her body, for almost a month before her parents prevailed on her husband to let them take her back to their home, from where a decision was made to take Asma’u to ABU Teaching Hospital at Shika.
Even at the hospital, this concerned and proactive family didn’t wait for Adamu Yusuf, her husband, to come to their aid. According to her ‘At the hospital, the doctors asked why it took us so long before seeking medical help. They eventually admitted me. The first course of treatment cost us N135,000. My family sold out their farm produce, including the goats I was rearing, to enable us raise the money. Then other rounds of treatment followed.’
But while all this was going on, in order to save Asma’us life, her husband had other plans for her. One day he showed at the hospital, during visiting hours, and behaved as if he wasn’t on a heartless mission. Again in her own words ‘I was very excited to see him because he had not been there to see me for some days. We began by discussing normal issues of life. His preamble before he handed me the divorce letter got me devastated. I was terribly shocked, to the extent of contemplating suicide. It was the refusal of the doctors and nurses to allow me to go downstairs that saved the situation. I wondered how a man with whom I had spent 15 years of my life divorce me because I am now a victim of this fate?’ she cried.
And you do not need to be in the same room with Asma’u to feel her pain. Any man with a shred of humanity in him will spare her this heartbreak till she is strong enough to bear it. Indeed Islam is categorical about the times in a woman’s life when divorce is not desirable because they represent times of weakness and poor health.
These are during menstruation, during pregnancy and at the time of post-natal bleeding. The opinion of the ulama is that divorce is not encouraged at such times because a woman is at her most defenseless due to hormonal imbalance and physical weakness, which should not be compounded by the heartache of a divorce. If that is the case at such times, what then is the situation for a woman who suffered a horrible, life-threatening accident like the one suffered by Asma’u?
Granted he does not have the money to foot her medical bills, but what will it cost him to remain her husband, provide moral support by being there and at least providing her with some feeding allowance since if she was home it will be his duty to feed her? Why did he have to be so cruel and cold-hearted to someone whose primary need now is for love and understanding? Even in the best of times, the Quranic injunction is for men to ‘live with them (wives) in fairness and part with them in fairness.’ Where is the fairness if a man can follow his wife to her hospital bed and give her a divorce letter? Was he hoping that she will grow frustrated and end her life so that he will be rid of her for good?
Whatever his reasons for this heartless show of ingratitude to a wife who sustained such grievous injuries while cooking his meal, someone should force Adamu Yusuf to take care of her. Divorce or no divorce he must be made to provide for her feeding, in that hospital, even if he cannot pay for her treatment. If he were to take another wife today, a phenomenon which could happen sooner than later, will he say he is too poor to feed her? If he can feed another woman, surely this one that served him for 15 years must also be his responsibility. I hereby urge whatever authority is in charge, whether it is social welfare office, women affairs ministry or even WRAPA, to take up Asma’us case and ensure that her selfish husband does not go scot-free over his abandonment of her in this critical moment of her life.
No one will be forcing him to take her back, but no one should let him believe he is free to just walk away after issuing a divorce letter.
He has to be made to provide for her up-keep now that she is in no position to provide for herself. Right now, apart from her parents, some kind-hearted women, mobilized by Malama Binta Muhammad of the Department of Chemistry, Federal College of Education, Zaria have been the ones taking care of Asma’u Sabuwa at the hospital. They have been taking care of her feeding and general upkeep while concerned groups like the Islamic forum of Nigeria have also donated in order to save Asma’u from total destitution at the hospital.
Some of her surgical treatments had to be stopped because there were no funds to foot the bill. The latest from Asma’us helpers is that she needs two rounds of surgery in ABUTH before she can be moved to Dubai for a cosmetic surgery to treat her hideous burns. Both the ABUTH treatment and the Dubai stage will cost a total of two and a half million naira. We should please rise to this challenge and come together to raise this amount.
Asma’us case is a heartrending case of destitution and helplessness.
But if you put yourself in her place, you know that you will do everything possible to save yourself from a life of gloom and doom.
Let us join hands to raise this amount so tomorrow we can see Asma’u and feel gratified that we did something to save her.
Whoever wishes to help can contact Binta Muhammad on 0706 331 1538 or contribute directly into Binta’s account at First Bank of Nigeria Plc Zaria Branch, account number 3006728554. Remember that no amount is too small in the way of assisting those who need it. Asma’us husband might have abandoned her in her hour of need but we can save her and give her a new lease on life, if we try. May Almighty Allah strengthen your resolve to be of help.