What’s trust all about, really?

Trust is so delicate that once broken it is hard to fix. Trust is a believed to be both emotional and logical acts, emotional in the sense that people take advantage of your vulnerability when you believe that your openness will not be taken advantage of; and logical when you have anticipated that someone will […]

Trust is so delicate that once broken it is hard to fix.

Trust is a believed to be both emotional and logical acts, emotional in the sense that people take advantage of your vulnerability when you believe that your openness will not be taken advantage of; and logical when you have anticipated that someone will act in a predictable manner but acts otherwise. But in reality it is a bit of both acts. When trust is placed on an individual, the person is seen in a different light but most of us break this connection. “ I have learnt to only trust myself as on many occasions my trust has been betrayed. There was an incidence that happened in my office. I told a very close friend something in confidence hoping that he could bring me comfort, which he did at that moment of my stress but what he did later was a shocker. I started getting snippets of what I told him in confidence and to make matters worse I  felt as a I guy he could keep my secrets secret but no he only proved to me that they (men) are even worse than the women in keeping secrets. So the best thing is that I have learnt from a very bitter lesson to only trust me and myself alone,” says Rahimat Abdullahi.

Some people believe that when they trust people they might be exposing themselves to more danger than protecting themselves. “I think I can only trust my mother as she will not do anything to harm me. This world is a very funny place as people who you trust are the same ones who will run you down in future. Giving your trust to someone will be exposing your vulnerabilities which can be used against you. You can never tell who is against you, the enemy you know is better that your most trusted friend,” says Teniola Ola.

Trust is earned. The behaviour we display determines if we can ever be trusted or even relied upon. If you are the kind of person who says something and do otherwise, it will be difficult for people to trust you because as they say trust is a burden.

We must treasure and protect whatever trust placed on us. “Trust is actually a burden, for, once it is placed on one, the fellow must or should treasure it with all strength, for if anything goes wrong with that trust, then it will be very difficult to cement back the relationship. I do not know why but it becomes very difficult and in most cases becomes very disastrous as it leaves suspicions in the relationship even if both parties try to reconcile. Broken trust is a nightmare and I do not think anybody will like to be in that position, it’s not the best, I know because I have experienced it before,” says Muhammed Hassan.

“Honestly, I think when trust is broken, it can hardly be the same again, it may grow back but it will not be on that same solid foundation it was built before as the victim might be sceptical about disclosing everything to the person who betrayed the trust. It has happened to me before and it was not easy rebuilding that relationship again. As I speak I do not think that I am among people she regard as a trustworthy friend, you never know what you have until you lose it, breach of trust in a friendship be it mutual or otherwise is a very dangerous game to play. My advice is that if you are placed in trust, you carry the burden with all sincerity and importance,” says Sadiq Bello.

Trust is the foundation to any committed relationship. Earning trust is about putting the needs of the other person ahead of yours and letting your action speak in line with your words. It is difficult to build trust once broken but this is not to say that trust cannot be gotten back as it takes a lot of hard work and is dependent on the forgiveness of the aggrieved party. If you have the penchant for breaching trust in any given relationship, then you only end up giving the impression that you are not a trustworthy person and people end up setting boundaries for you.

There is a limit to how one can be carried away by situations but some people just never learn to be trust worthy. According to Tony Michael, “when it comes to trust, a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredicted friend as we know where they stand in our lives.’’

 No one wants to look back to a life of half trustful relationships neither does anyone wants to known as one who is not trustworthy, for truly trust is a burden.