When attitude matters in marriage

Being married without enjoying the benefits has never gone down well with any woman. On the other hand, our attitude goes a long way in ensuring the happiness we desire in our marriages or relationships. This lady explains her situation. “I’ve been married to my husband for ten years now and in all those years, […]

Being married without enjoying the benefits has never gone down well with any woman. On the other hand, our attitude goes a long way in ensuring the happiness we desire in our marriages or relationships.
This lady explains her situation. “I’ve been married to my husband for ten years now and in all those years, he has treated me like he was doing me a favour by marrying and providing for me. Since I got a job, he has stopped providing my needs, believing I’m now capable of providing for myself.
However, what bothers me is that he provides for other girls and even discusses their menstrual cycle with them; note that he doesn’t know anything about mine.  I found out when I checked his phone. He is never interested in any conversation I try to start with him as he claims he is always too tired to talk. He treats me like I deserve nothing from him. He is never there for me. I’m married but live as though I were single.”
Maryam Aliyu, 39-year-old physiologist, says “It’s a pity that her husband is treating her this way while he favours outsiders. His type is called ‘Jonny miss road’. It will hurt so much to realize that one’s husband knows another woman better than the wife to the extent that he discusses her menstrual cycle with her. I’ll advice that she focuses on her kids if she has any. If she has children, then she should look for activities that will make her happy as to make her children happy and comfortable too, they are all that matter to her now.”
Charles Ande, 40-year-old doctor, says “Since he avoids having a conversation with her, she should write everything on a piece of paper and drop it where he can see it and read. If that doesn’t work, then she should find the nerve to do what is best for her. If I must judge, I would say that the foundation of her marriage has a lot of lapses. Something was not right from the beginning and only she can figure out what it is. I believe there is a reason why her husband is being nonchalant and mean to her. Just a hint; it’s either he’s not happy that she works or he was forced to marry her.”
Bilkisu Aminu, 42-year-old consultant asks, “What was her attitude towards his efforts when she started earning an income? Did she in anyway try to show him that she can do it better than he does? She should check and see if she has in one way or the other pushed him to be cold towards her, because from what she has narrated, it’s not that he doesn’t know what she needs but he chose to ignore her.”
Tosin Akingboye, 35-year-old public servant, says, “You know men are egoistic in nature and it is not all men that you will get to give you that attention once you have lost it. If she has in any way offended him, I will suggest, she apologises to get things back on track. All we need is peace and harmony and everything will go on smoothly.”
Judith Okpara, 38-year-old civil servant, says “I would advise she checks herself, she must have gone wrong somewhere because from all she has said, her husband still has an element of good in him. Only, he tends to change towards her by being harsh, meaning that there is something wrong somewhere.”