When cost of wedding poses a threat to marriage

Celebrating marriage at an event centre is what is trending now. Most couples when getting married want to boast of celebrating it at a certain centre. Parents spend huge amount of money to rent such centres for the celebration of their children’s wedding. This trend is not just among the elite but also the common […]

Celebrating marriage at an event centre is what is trending now. Most couples when getting married want to boast of celebrating it at a certain centre. Parents spend huge amount of money to rent such centres for the celebration of their children’s wedding.
This trend is not just among the elite but also the common people. Because of the way such centres are making quick and easy money, many event centres are now being opened by business men and women. This is in addition to other places that are primarily not made for events but a section is converted for the purpose. Such places in Kano include the museum, Kano State Library and Tourist Camp among others. The emergence of this trend has created fear in the minds of many prospective grooms because of the cost implication. However, investigation by  the Home Front has revealed that the bulk of the funds are provided by the brides’ parents because they are the ones on most occasions that sponsor the events.
Describing how she celebrated her wedding, Fatima Umar who recently got married said her family spent close to N2 million on renting the place where the celebration took place.
“The first place where the main celebration was held was rented at the cost of N1.3 million. The second event was held in our house and the decoration made at the site of the event cost N350,000 while the other event centre where the groom had his reception with his friends was rented at the cost of N150, 000,”disclosed Fatima.
 The Home Front gathered that the money paid for renting these centres does not include, decorations, music or band or feeding; it is just the cost for using the venue. The celebrants provide all the delicacies that are eaten there.
While Fatima’s family can afford to pay the high cost, the masses are not left behind in this new trend; they have cheaper places that range from N15,000 – N30,000 to celebrate their weddings. But the funny thing is that sometimes when the event centres are rented with much sweat; neither food nor drinks are served. People are just entertained with some music and that is it.
A lady that was invited to one of such events where the celebrant tried very hard to pay for the venue, narrated how she used her money to transport herself to attend the reception but ended up with nothing to eat because after paying for the event site, the bride could not afford to provide anything for the invited guests.
“In the first place, the venue of the event was very far and after transporting myself there from my pocket, not even water was served us. We were just entertained with some music and that was all,” said Aziza Muhammad.
Much as the trend is fast becoming a requisite for marriages, most especially among brides , the grooms see it as an innovation created to further make marriages more difficult for them.
 “I cannot understand all this, when we are grappling with the issue of “lefe” and other expenses, they have now come up with another money draining factor. They now want us to further sponsor the wedding reception at an event centre. This is making things harder for the groom and it might put ideas in the minds of the groom,” said Habib Ya’u.
He said how his friend got into problem with his in laws over the issue.
 “The parents of the bride are fairly rich and my friend is just coming up. After trying his best in providing all the things required by tradition, he was further asked to provide another huge amount of money for the renting of an event centre and when he was unable to give the money, his in-laws berated him so much that he looked saddened throughout the period that was supposed to be the happiest in his life,” he said.
Ya’u therefore urged both parents and Islamic scholars to speak against this innovation that is making marriage more difficult for the common man. He noted that the trend is now being practiced even during naming ceremonies.
“Now what is also trendy among women is to rent an event centre to celebrate the birth of a new born baby. They are promoting this trend despite the current hardship people are experiencing,” he said.
On her part, a recently married lady, Aisha Wakili, sees nothing wrong with the trend because, according to her, this was one ways that parents could show their love to their daughters leaving them to start another life.
 “I don’t see anything wrong in  parents renting a place to allow their daughters celebrate their marriage happily with friends and relatives,” she observed.
However, condemning the practice, the national president of the Muslim Sisters Organisation, Hajiya Salamatu Ibrahim, said such practices have bad repercussions.
 “In the first place, there is no justification for such extravagancies considering the hardships people are experiencing now. Again our religion is against extravagancy in everything including marriage. Islam says the most blessed marriage is that which brings less hardship,” she added,
 “Apart from depriving the marriage of blessing, it will even pose a security threat to the couple. The display of wealth during such events will attract the attention of bad people and if care is not taken, these bad people may trace the couple to go and rob them, “she noted.
Hajiya Salamatu further observed that instead of spending such huge amount of money in renting a venue for a wedding celebration, the parents should use the money to get some assets for the couple which would be useful to them in the future.
She advised parents and the children to fear God and know that resources given to human beings would be accounted for in the court of God Almighty, adding that even couples that are Christians faced the same fate, as the groom or their parents might be saddled with the responsibility of renting an event centre way beyond their budget.
“This practice puts a lot of strain on couples and on the marriage and sometimes cause unnecessarily delay in carrying out the wedding,” she further stated.
Tunde Lawal said, “What is most important is for the couple to receive God’s blessing and provide all the necessities for the marriage but unfortunately because of status and what people will say, people tend to go an extra mile even when they cannot afford that.”
Michael Udey, a marriage counselor said, “All these are just show off, the wedding is just a day, two or three. But what is important is the marriage and the amount of preparation put in by all the couples and their families to ensure that it works, that the couples stay together.
“Couples should learn to plan their wedding within their budget so that they will be comfortable even after the wedding without worrying about funds,” he stressed.