When fate trumps hope (II)

Continued from last week Apparently the house helps and guards had all noticed something but didn’t bother to tell me because they thought she was doing it out of friendship with me. It so happened that whenever I was away visiting the children, our dear widow was in the habit of sending delicious meals to […]

Continued from last week

Apparently the house helps and guards had all noticed something but didn’t bother to tell me because they thought she was doing it out of friendship with me. It so happened that whenever I was away visiting the children, our dear widow was in the habit of sending delicious meals to my husband. He sometimes even told our cook not to bother because he had food to eat. Our children were all in school so no one could have found it a curious thing that the neighbour was feeding their dad.’ Abida observed.

‘What a courageous woman, I mean she was bold enough to just decide to be cooking for the man next door. Didn’t it occur to her that he might have people to take care of him even in your absence? And how did she even know when you were not around?’ I asked.

‘Again, like a good neighbour, I used to take the trouble to peep in and tell her that I was going to be away for a few days. That’s how she knew whenever I travelled.’ Abida explained.

‘And she was so unscrupulous she used the information to her advantage. Imagine betraying your trust and friendship to further her hidden agenda. Some people just can’t be trusted. And to think you were doing all that because she was a widow whom you felt needed your sympathy. I can’t help feeling she is utterly shameless.’ I said, with disgust.

‘Maybe she is but I can’t help feeling that I caused all this to happen when I insisted that Ado should go and condole her. Whatever she did afterwards was only because I sent my own husband to her. I truly have no one blame but myself and that’s what hurts me most.’ She confessed.

‘No Abida you have to stop blaming yourself because what you did was the right thing. You had no way of knowing this would be the result. The truth is whether you sent him to sympathise with her or not, if they were meant to meet they would somehow meet. And the result would still be this marriage that is taking place tomorrow since it is the will of God. Take it from me this is a clear case of fate. And you know the saying that fate trumps hope. In other words no matter what you hope for it is what is predestined that usually comes to pass.

So the first thing is to stop blaming yourself. Between self-pity and self accusation you are giving yourself a recipe for ulcer, or even something worse. Just dry your tears,’ I said ‘wiping her face with my hand, ‘and let’s plan how to deal with the reality of your new life from tomorrow.’ I suggested.

‘What else is there for me to do but leave Bint? I feel so used and betrayed I can’t live between those two.’ She declared.

‘No Abida, you are going nowhere. How can you leave your home and your four children all because your husband got hooked to the widow next door? No way, you are going back there to stay for your children. Yes, they are fairly grown up but not one of them is married because they are still schooling, so you can’t saddle them with a broken home and go your own way just because their father has broken your heart. As painful as it is, you have to stay and take care of them. Consider them your priority, the only reason you are in the marriage, then you’ll find that you can tolerate whatever happens after tomorrow. As for your neighbour, you can choose to shut her out of your life, at least until you feel better about what happened, but don’t let her be the reason you lose your own home.

Then we come to your husband, he knows better than anybody else how much he has hurt you, so give yourself time to get over your heartache and try not to get into arguments with him. Like I said earlier, he is well within his rights to take another wife since Islam has made it lawful, so try to avoid any quarrels but do not force yourself to act as if nothing happened because something did happen, and you need to get used to it before you can become your old self again. Additionally be very prayerful. Pray for your peace of mind and protection; pray that if the widow has any evil agenda let it bounce back to her. In sha Allah, God will not allow her to harm you in any way because of the way you treated her with kindness and good neighbourliness. So bear with everything from now on but never think of leaving your own home.’ I emphasized.

‘But it’s not going to be easy Bint. I mean knowing that whenever he is missing, he is next door with another woman is something I cannot bear.’ She insisted.

‘But you have to. No one said it’s going to be easy. It’s a trial from Almighty Allah and such trials are hard and painful but they still come to pass. Remember that He, SWT, tried all His Prophets and messengers with severe travails, in order to test their faith, so who are you dear Abida that God will not test yours?’ I asked, rhetorically.

Wiping the tears and nodding her head Abida finally said:

‘I’ll try Bint. I’ll try my best, in sha Allah.