When is the best time to date after a breakup?

Breakups are never easy, and there are lots to think about and process once you find yourself single again. It is said that there is no pain like that of a broken heart. Just as temperaments and reasons for the heartbreak differ, we can also agree that coping with a breakup is one of the […]

Breakups are never easy, and there are lots to think about and process once you find yourself single again. It is said that there is no pain like that of a broken heart. Just as temperaments and reasons for the heartbreak differ, we can also agree that coping with a breakup is one of the most challenging life changes to pass through.

LifeXtra sought to know what people had to say on the matter. 

Mike Kachi told LifeXtra “For me it depends on how quickly I want to settle down. If age isn’t on my side, I’ll date as early as possible because there’s no time to waste. Waiting may just delay your plans to settle down. But if there’s time, it’ll be wise to wait a bit longer, get over the break up, learn from what happened, work on qualities I might be lacking; in fact I’ll work on myself and review what I really want in a relationship  before venturing into another one. The reason is obviously to avoid another break up.”

Odu Juliana, self-employed, said “To me, there is no best time for dating, provided your heart is ready, although I wouldn’t hurriedly jump into another relationship because sometimes the other person might be used as a sacrificial lamb for the healing process.”

Isado Andokie Juliana, a teacher, said, “I can’t really say whether a month, two or even after years because people differ. The most important thing is one’s state of mind. One must be over the post breakup stage – the mourning and sulking phase.”

Juliana added “Rushing into a new relationship without regaining self-esteem is just a way of filling the hole left from a bad break up.”

Naandem Daloek says there’s no best time or date. “Just move with what works for you. Truth is you should sort yourself out and ensure you’ve moved on completely before dating again,” he added.

“One must ensure he/she rediscovers oneself then improve on grey areas. Once you are happy with yourself, then it’s time to share it with someone.”

Kindness Ekunode, a makeup artist, also believes that there’s no exact time frame for one to date after a break up.  She told LifeXtra “But it wouldn’t be best to date immediately after a break up because the healing process wouldn’t be complete at that time.”

“Dating immediately after a breakup would not make one love his/her partner for who they are. Rather, one would take the new partner as a replacement of the former. That would be wrong.”

Simone Paget, in an article on www.bolde.com, titled “8 Signs You’re Ready To Date Again After A Bad Breakup” wrote “With every breakup, there’s always this point when you’ve stopped crying and you start to think about dating again. Now here’s the thing: we live in a culture where we’re encouraged to pull up our bootstraps and ‘get back on the horse,’ so to speak – even when it comes to matters of the heart. However, there’s nothing more futile than getting back into dating or a relationship before you’re emotionally ready.”

Paget added “You’re not trying to make your ex jealous. You’re not trying to fill a void left behind by the breakup. Instead, you’re dating because you’re ready to move on and meet new people. In other words, you date for the right reasons.”