When manners matter

In our day-to-day interactions, we meet all kinds of people. From our first day in school to our first job, we come in contact with different personalities. As we encounter these diverse characters, what should matters is making a first impression, because it lasts and lasts. Sometimes politeness is often overlooked and undervalued. This happens […]

In our day-to-day interactions, we meet all kinds of people. From our first day in school to our first job, we come in contact with different personalities. As we encounter these diverse characters, what should matters is making a first impression, because it lasts and lasts.

Sometimes politeness is often overlooked and undervalued. This happens no matter where you are – at home, work, or with friends. We live in a society where the importance of practicing good manners is important. This is because it is believed that good manners open doors and blessings. But then we need to know what manners are and why they matter. So the question now is what are manners? Do manners really matter?
The online dictionary yourdictionary.com defines manners as “the way of doing something or behaving”. In other words, it is a way or method in which something is done or happens. Manners are not something that we are born with. Rather, we cultivate them as we are taught by our parents. And by the time we realize how important it is, we might just realize it is a part of respect.
Few of the people spoken to about this topic had one or two things to say about manners and how it affects relationships.
Oyekunle Fadipe is of the opinion that manners do matter and go a long way in speaking about us to others. He said “It costs nothing really, but stores up our worth and value to others overtime. Good manners elicit respect and reverence for us in that it speaks in the positive about our character to others.”
Ladoye Olutade said “If manners are optional, why do people get offended by attitude? As costless as it seems, a lack of it is extremely costly, as it can affect your dignity and value, and that’s not to mention respect and acceptability. Did I forget to add others perception of us?”
Chinwe Ezeigbo, a business woman, said: “The way a person acts, behaves or his attitude towards others matter a lot. It is a huge disadvantage if a person lacks manners. It can cost such an individual many things. One aspect that makes up our culture is imbibing good morals which include how we express ourselves to others. It is no big deal to use words like “please”, “I am sorry” or “Thank you”. It upsets me that little children in foreign movies would ask their father to get out or can’t even say thank you, but that is not applicable here and I just hope with the way children are being raised in our society today, our values would still be upheld.”
Ahmed Oshogbugie, an accountant, thinks having manners is mandatory. “People who have no manners annoy me. I know of someone whose arrogance and pride deprived him of a promotion. He couldn’t just bring himself to apologize to his boss whom he offended. That same boss was to sign his appraisal and eventually recommend him. I think having good manners is an essential spice of what defines you as someone with good character.”
“If you lack manners, you would definitely have more enemies than friends, some might act cordially with you but deep down they don’t like you because of your attitude,” he added.
Self-employed Obende Susan noted “In the western world manners might be over looked but not here in Africa. Amongst the first training parents give their children is how to show respect to the elderly, young and their peer group. If you are one with an arrogant and displeasing attitude, then you are sure to grace the bad book of many. One should have manner of approach, know how to talk to people and give the desired respect. Apologize when you do wrong, it won’t hurt to do so.”
She also said showing appreciation and gratitude go a long way in telling that an individual has manners because it matters a lot at home, in the classroom, office, while in the midst of friends, strangers, family, colleagues and everybody you meet. “It tells a lot about who you are and can go a long way to define you.”